Sam Eagle quotes from The Muppets

  [to the camera]  Did you hear that?  Janice just said, "Hey, Sam."  Now, that could mean one of two things: "Hello to you, my colleague Sam," or the more obvious, "I've loved you for a million lifetimes."  [sighs]

  Mistletoe: a seasonally-appropriate way to finally jump-start my relationship with Janice.

God bless America and its magnificent Broadcasting Company!

Uh Fellas was i in Muppet Treasure Island?

My life is a bacon-wrapped Hell on Earth.

Can't say "Hell."

  [on Up Late with Miss Piggy to Reese Witherspoon]  And I have a couple of words to say to you.

  [offstage, to himself]  Oh, please let those two words be "I'm sorry."

  [with his wing above a red buzzer]  I'm ready to bleep if they're not.

So, um, do you snorkel?

Janice

Oh, never! Snorkelling is an invasion of fish privacy.

Mmm, yes, which is why I always yell, "Are you decent?" before I jump in the water.

  So, I was thinking, you like Hawaiʻi…I like Hawaiʻi…maybe we…

Janice

  You're on fire.

  Oh, why, thank you.  [notices he is literally on fire, exits screaming]

The office is no place for romance! That's why I am a lifelong member of Team Friendship!

Janice

Um, I, like, like friendship, but I, like, LOVE love, so, like, I'm on Team Love.

Me too! Uh... Boo, Team Friendship. Boooooooo!