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S4 E16

The Muppet Show · Season 4, Episode 16

“Jonathan Winters” quotes from The Muppet Show

6 quotes

“Jonathan Winters” · Season 4, Episode 16

In this episode: Beauregard (5), Kermit the Frog (2), Gonzo (2), Fozzie Bear (1), Scooter (1)

Oh, good evening, I'm Beauregard, welcome again to The Muppet Show. And boy, do we have a treat in store, because our guest star tonight is one of your all-time terrific, never-to-miss comedians, the king of nuttiness, Mr. Jonathan Winters! What good news. Well, uh, uh, so much for the good news. I got a sand bag to surprise him. The grand news is I found his old props. That'll surprise him. And tonight is my night to fix Jonathan's act.

Uh, it's a real honor to introduce our special guest star tonight, ladies and gentlemen. He's a comedy genius, a man of a million characters, and here he is now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. —

Allow me. (pushes Kermit away) Grand News. I found his old props and this will surprise him.

JWJonathan Winters

Please! Please. Help me. The gypsy curse is upon us, I tell you.

Observe. Of course, I can help you.

JWJonathan Winters

(sobs) You can? Oh, thank you, Beauregard, All my props are gone! I'm — I'm ruined! I'm ruined.

(to Jonathan angrily by slap face) No, you're not! (to the lens) Watch this. (to Jonathan angrily) You mean your props, like this? (shows Jonathan to his Props)

JWJonathan Winters

(saw his props have returned and screams) My props! I thought they were gone and I was ruined and... All my props are back! I'm — I'm back in business! Finally! Oh, (happily in tears) Thank you, Beauregard. My hero. (to Propsy) Propsy, how I missed you.

I am sure this did hold him and scared him. He named Props Propsy. All his props are back, Returned props, check, now, what's next on my list to fix Jonathan's act? Fozzie's Prop Box for all his props. Perfect. Fozzie's Prop Box, check.

Oh, good. You're ready. With your props back. Thanks, Beauregard. (goes onstage) Uh, ladies and gentlemen, I think we're all ready back there now. Uh, here he is, uh, Mr. Jonathan Winters! YAAAYY!

And now, to scare him away, here they are, The old gypsy lady, Annie Sue, and some gypsy pigs singing their story song "Golden Earrings".

Kermit! Kermit! I've just learned a terrible thing.

What now?

I just met that old gypsy woman in the alley.

She made a dire prediction!

A dire prediction? (two chickens faint) I was right.

So — so, what was the dire prediction?

Well, the old gypsy woman said that, in the final stages of the curse, Jonathan Winters would turn Swedish!

(gasp!)

I don't believe it.

Girls, did you hear that? In the final stages of the curse, he'll all be... (doing the Mock Swedish Dance) Look at me, I'm dancing.

Oh, it's happening already. Gonzo just turned Dance Swedish! Soon everyone'll — (doing the Mock Swedish Dance)

Scooter! Kermit — listen to Scooter! He — (doing the Mock Swedish Dance)

Fozzie!

What?

Hey, listen to me, everybody! Uh, hey, listen, there's nothing terrible about turning Swedish! I mean, some of my best friends are Swedish.

FSFozzie, Scooter and Gonzo

Nothing terrible? Oh. (muttering) Who?

The Swedish Chef.

LZLew Zealand

Victory is mine! Stand up and do the Mock Swedish Dance! Yeah! (doing the Mock Swedish Dance)

Boy, that Old Gypsy Lady gave me a great introduction for the closing number, now that I became his hero, I get to take over from here. (clears his throat) Now let's thank our guest star, the king of nuttiness, Jonathan Winters! YAY!

JWJonathan Winters

Oh, Thank you, Beauregard, my props have came back. I have never so felt alive before, it was a nice Svensky. For me? A crown! Finally! (puts on his crown) Thank you.

That's it for now. I'll see you next time on The Muppet Show.

(gasp!) Your majesty!

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