[The sisters and Bobby are hanging out front with the Delux swimming pool Lincoln originally planned to get. Luna is playing a steel drum. Lori is taking pictures of her darling lifeguard.]
"Oh, that's fierce, babe."
[knocks Lynn in the water] "Have at thee! HA!"
"Just because I'm fabulous doesn't mean I can't have fun!" [slides down and swims] "La-la-la, la-la-la!"
[Lucy and Lily apply sunscreen on each other. Leni and Luan play Marco Polo again.]
"Okay, this time, instead of Marco Polo, why don't we just use our REAL names?"
"Okay! So I'm..." [looks at her brother, surprised] "Lincoln?"
"Boy, you really don't get this game at all, do ya?" [Notices what Leni meant] "Oh! Hey, Linc!"
[The sisters look happy to see him.]
[Aware of what's going on] "Hey, guys...what's all this?"
"Well, little bro, you had such a good idea in buying YOUR pool, we decided to-"
"-POOL our money to get this one!!!" [Giggles and everyone groans. Luan gets bonked by Lynn's noodle] "That's using your noodle!!" [Giggles some more] "Ow!"
"Aren't you gonna get in? There's TOTES room for one more!"
"You're gonna let me use your pool?" [The sisters are concerned] "Even though I kicked you out of mine?"
"Well, he was kind of a meanie."
"Not to mention selfish."
"And he stole my whistle!"
"But that doesn't mean he can't use our pool."
"Why should you get her? I've literally been waiting 17 years for someone in this family who likes the things I like!"
[Lincoln and Lori rush into Lily's bedroom where Leni is stuck in Lily's crib]
"Oh, thank goodness. I got in here to show Lily my fashion magazine, but now, I can't get out of this baby prison!" [cries]
[Lori and Lincoln help Leni out of Lily's crib]
[Lily is having a tea party with Lola and Lana]
"More tea, Lady Lillington?" [Lily removes a tiara that Lola placed on her head]
She doesn't wanna have a dumb tea party. She wants to play with Izzy! [Puts Izzy on Lily's head. They then start to pull Lily by her arms, which discomforts her]
Dudes, give her back! We were in the middle of a jam sesh!
We were talking to Great-Grandma Harriet.
We were getting ready to take our show on the road!
We were gonna look at my magazines!
We were watching Dylan's date!
BT-dubs, Lori, Great-Grandma Harriet knows you re-gifted her brooch, and she is not happy about it. [Lori instantly looks regretful]
LLLola and Lana
GIVE US BACK, LILY!
[The other girls fight over Lily until Lincoln comes in and grabs her]
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!
[Lincoln tries to escape with Lily, but Lori stops him dead in his tracks]
I'll take that. [grabs Lily and runs]
Oh, no, you don't! [gets Lily back from Lori but crashes into Luan who switched Lily out with Mr. Coconuts]
Whoops. Sorry, Linc! Sorry, you loser! [laughs but loses Lily to Leni]
Ha! Na-na-na, na-na-na! [loses Lily to Lisa while she's gloating at Luan] LILY'S INVISIBLE!
[offscreen] Boo. [Lisa screams and she takes Lily from her] Boo.
[Leni runs off screaming; Lisa gets Lily back from Lucy only for Leni to intercept her; Luan tosses a banana peel on the floor causing Leni to slip and drop Lily and Lincoln catches her; Lynn intercepts Lily; Lola comes driving in her princess car and runs over Lynn and takes Lily from her; Lana tosses her jacks on the floor and causes Lola to have a tire blow out; in slow motion, Lola goes crashing and Lana grabs Lily only for the other girls to catch up to her by blocking her path]
[They all start having another brawl until Lincoln whistles out to them and they stop]
Look! We all want Lily to be our mini-me, right? Well, there's only one way to settle this. We'll let Lily choose.
Leni, why is this picture of Bobby hidden on your side of the closet?
Oh, there is it is! That was a surprise present from Bobby for your 88-day-iversary. He asked me to hide it for him, but I forgot where I put it.
That anniversary was eight days ago, and Bobby gave me socks! I can't believe this! You're literally seeing Bobby behind my back! You are no longer my sister!
What can I do? In a family this big, our eco-footprint is a size 18 triple wide. We use a lot of electricity, fossil fuels, water, aerosols, non-biodegradables, and did I mention electricity? We gotta reduce our eco-footprint. Hopefully, I can get my sisters on board. [cut to the living room, his sisters are complaining] Or not. Time to pull out the big guns. [holding up the poster] And if we don't all do our part, this adorable little guy won't survive. [they cry]
G1Gamer 1
Pee-yew. What stinks?
[Suddenly, the TV goes off and it's revealed that Lincoln's sisters have unplugged it and are wearing potato sacks over their bodies and bandages on their feet, with a huge stench coming out of them, and all look incredibly furious]
It's not what it looks like! [notices the game controller and hides it behind his back]
We're up there making all these sacrifices, and you're down here playing some stupid computer game?!
Okay, so maybe it is what it looks like.
If you don't wanna give anything up, why should we?
But... but... polar bear? [holds up the poster]
[Lincoln's sisters are starting to feel remorse again, but this time, unfortunately, they snap out of it.]
Aww...wait a minute! You can't use that on us anymore!
Come on, girls! Let's go get our stuff back!
[holding up her glass of air] And a refill!
[They do so, and leave the basement.]
Let's all give Lincoln a round of applause for stepping up his green game and doing his part.
[The whole class cheers for Lincoln for saving the baby polar bear challenge]
Well, I saved the polar bear, and I'm not an outcast. Although, technically speaking... [literally outside the window, rubbing with a scented towelette] my social life is out the window. Do you mind?! I'm showering!
I've been thinking about what you said. And you and the girls are right. I do get a little crazy when it comes to first concerts.
Why are they so important to you?
[Flashback to a younger, unfamiliar Luna attending her first concert] Cause my first rock show changed my life. It was Mick Swagger. Summer of seventh grade. The Gimme Swelter Tour. Up until that muggy June night, I didn't know who I wanted to be, but the moment Mick and the boys took the stage, it all started to become clear. It was like he was talking to me. [as Mick Swagger sings, Luna comes up to the stage and transforms into her familiar appearance] It was in that moment I realized... I WAS LUNA LOUD! Stage dive!
I know it's only rock and roll, but I like it.
CCaptain
[crying] I'm sorry. That was just such a beautiful story. You're right, kid. First concerts are unforgettable. And I can't let you miss yours. [lets them out] Here. Here's your tickets back. Now get outta here!
[Lincoln returns home and finds his sisters all glaring annoyingly at him]
Wrong house! [closes the door but they somehow appear before him]
We were standing on the curb for over three hours!
The garbage guys literally tried to take Lana to the dump!
I'm really sorry. I had a busy day with the very wealthy Lord Tetherby and I just couldn't get away.
I cannot believe you have been hanging out with some random rich guy all day instead of taking your own sisters to the Burpin' Burger!
[repeating Tetherby's words] A man in a limo can't be seen in some rat hole named after a bodily function. It's just not done.
You're not a man in a limo. You're a kid who ate a bunch of mustard! As soon as your limo's gone, this little fantasy of yours is going to be over!
Oh, really? Is that why they're making me a member of their club tonight, hm? Now if you'll excuse me, I need to put on my formal wear.
[Lincoln pulls out a sloppy joe with a note]
C3Classmate #3
[reading the note] "Happy Sloppy Joe Tuesday, Lame-o. Signed, Ronnie Anne!"
C2Classmate #2
And there's a heart!
CClassmates
Ooh! Lincoln's got a girlfriend!
C2Classmate #2
When's the wedding day, Lincoln?
[annoyed] Ha ha. Very funny.
CClassmates
Ronnie and Lincoln sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
Guys, Ronnie Anne is NOT my girlfriend. She's rude and gross and totally annoying. I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than kiss that weirdo. [hears a gasp and sees Ronnie Anne] Ronnie Anne!
[Ronnie Anne storms out of the cafeteria with a sharped scowl]
Whoa, Lincoln, I think you really hurt her feelings.
Come on, Clyde, Ronnie Anne is the toughest kid in school. She'll be fine.
[Later… as Lincoln returns home from school]
You MONSTER! [throws a tissue box at him, angrily]
You made Ronnie Anne CRY!
Cry?! I didn't mean to! Wait, how do you know?
Bobby told me... Right before he broke up with ME! [sobs]
What? Why does Bobby care?
[opens up a photo book of her, Bobby, and Ronnie Anne] Because Bobby is literally Ronnie Anne's brother! He said he could never date someone related to someone who hurt someone he's related to! Or something like that!
Ronnie Anne has a brother? I thought she was raised by trolls.
[throws CDs at him] THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT BOBBY WAS TALKING ABOUT! [chases him around the living room and grabs him by the collar with both hands] You have to make things right with Ronnie Anne!
Okay! Okay! I'll call her right now and apologize!
No! Nuh-uh! Actions speak louder than words. Bobby has to see you being nice to her. That's the only way he'll get back together with me! Which is why we're going on a double-date.
It's all been arranged. We have a reservation at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet at 6:00. And you will make her feel like… THE MOST SPECIAL GIRL IN THE WORLD!!
