3rd most-quoted character in The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy: in 107 of its 361 quotesGrim (54), Billy (42), Mindy (5)
Scenes with Mandy 88
[psst, psst] , [Billy sneak at witness bench] Irwin!
Billy, I'm wet and I'm naked. And there's monster everywhere.
Don't worry, they won't hurt you. Unless they decide to hurt you. [Billy left the bench] Irwin, if you would, please read to this court your pre-written words that I, Billy, not MANDY, is the best person to take custody of said Grim.
I'm cold, yo! Can I get some pants please?
I believe... Billy is the best person... in all of the universe to take care of Grim. To keep him fed and clothed... and with or without him there will be nobody to unleash a deep reservoir of love...
Reservoir of love?! Sick.
Not until you read the part about my warehouse of COMPASSION!
Mandy Objection! He's leading the witness.
I'm not leading him. I'm just trying to make him say exactly what I want him to say.
[Jeff is being questioned by Mandy in the court.]
JS Jeff the Spider
Hi, everyone.
Mandy Could you tell the court your relationship with Billy?
JS Jeff the Spider
He's my dad.
JC Jury and Court
Ewwwwwww!
Billy only hatched the egg, people. That's all.
JC Jury and Court
Ohhhhhhhh...
Mandy And how would you rate Billy as a caregiver?
JS Jeff the Spider
Pretty good, I guess... except he's never remembered my birthday... or paid child support... in fact, he usually just jabs me with a big stick. OW!
[begins to jab Jeff with a really big stick] I'll jab you good, you filthy bug!
JS Jeff the Spider
Why don't you love me, dad?! I'll be anything you want me to be!
Mandy No further questions.
[Li'l Porkchop is being questioned by Mandy in the court.]
Mandy Li'l Porkchop, how long were you Billy's pet?
LL Li'l Porkchop
Eleven minutes.
Mandy And what did he do to you, in those eleven minutes?
LL Li'l Porkchop
Horrible, horrible things... I don't want to talk about it! I still wake up, every night, screaming... SCREAMING! [quietly] Screaming...
Mandy No further questions.
So, Mandy? You think you can make me look BAD?! Well, guess what, Mr. Missy-miss? I don't need YOU to make ME look bad! I can do that all on my own. And now, you force me to play dirty. [Billy starts playing in mud, laughing] I'm a dirty boy. I'm a dirty, I'm a dirty boy!
Mandy Billy, you've just evolved a notch up the idiot ladder.
Such biting comments, Mandy. But now, they'll bite YOU - in the butt! I call to this court, Mandy's mom and dad!
Mandy Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Billy is a doofus. Just look at him. If you give Grim to Billy, he'll abuse him, abuse him in all the wrong ways.
Mandy But, if you give Grim to me, I'll abuse him in all the right ways!
B Blandy
Billy? I thought I was marrying Grim.
AB Adult Billy
[to Grim, angrily] I'LL KILL YOU!
AM Adult Mandy
Remember, kids: Love only leads to pain.
[doorbell rings]
Mandy Grim. Door. Now.
[Grim walks off screen and returns with Billy and Irwin]
Here you go, your highness. Count Idiot and Lord Weenie.
That's not fair! I'm a captain! And if I go, I'm taking all my girls with me!
FC Football Coach
Fine! Mandy's way better than you, anyway.
Listen here, Mandy! If you'll become captain. I swear! I will never, ever, EVER speak to you again!
Mandy Well, I can't pass up that offer. I'll do it.
Uh! [growls] You...AGGGHHHH! [anger mumbling)
Mandy What do you want, bonehead?
Billy's off to his Grammy's for the day, so I guess you have custody.
Mandy No can do, slim.
Mandy This is the one day of the year that's all about me.
But I thought every day was all about Mandy.
Mandy True, but this is the one day of the year that I pamper myself. Manicure, pedicure, facial, massage. The works.
[Grim looks confused]
Mandy Okay, I sit on the couch, stuff myself with cheesy foam and watch demolition derby. The point is, I need a break!
I can't believe that you actually saved the humanity. But you hate humanity!
Mandy I won't be tricked into unleashing a never-ending sorrow on humanity. When the time comes, I'll do it on my own.
Mandy Grim, you're gonna tell me how to stop her, and you're gonna do it now.
And why should I do that?
Mandy [angrily grabbing Grim by the neck of his cloak] You're gonna tell it! Or, so help me, I will pull your stupid cloak through your eyes and use it as reins to ride your bony butt back to the darkest pits of the Underworld FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!
Aghh, OK! Sorry I asked, you little psychopath.
D Dora
[after trying to make Mindy open her lunch box for some time] Look, are you gonna open my lunch box and look inside or not, you big LOSER! [Mindy, the girls and Irwin scream]
[stamering in shock] Wh-what? I-I-I'm not a lo-loser! You're the... [Dora walks away] Hey, get back here! I'm not through humiliating you, you... you bean!
D Dora
Er, mind if I join you.
Mandy Anyone who can do THAT do Mindy can join us!
[in increasingly panicked voice] I'm not a loser. Loser...bean, BEAN, LOSER!
M Morg
What a pleasant coincidence! I came here to talk to you about that particular game of limbo.
Mandy The game was binding. No court on Earth could overturn that decision. Not even in Los Angeles.
M Morg
You're absolutely right, it is binding. As long as all parties remain together on Earth.
Mandy No, I know where that thing's been.
Hey, hey, Grim, Yo' momma is so ugly, I heard your dad met her at a dog show!
Ooh, ooh! Yo' momma's so stupid she put lipstick on her head just to make up her mind!
GM Grim and Mandy
Shut up!
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy · 361 quotes
Mandy
