Dracula quotes from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Wolfman swallowed a squirrel whole. Dracula told him to chew, but no one listens to Dracula!

Grim

Uh, excuse me, sir? Do you have time for an informal survey? What do you think is more frightening, these three scary monsters... [Bride of Frankenstein, Dracula and Wolf Man make scary noises] ...or this glass of water?

Water! Eh, eh, WATER!

Grim

Look, man, I'll give you five bucks. Five bucks! If you say those monsters are scarier than the water.

Dracula thirsty. Gonna drink this water.

Grim

[to Dracula] Dracula, please don't!

You can't tell Dracula what to do! Dracula a grown man. Do what he wants!

Can I please go now?

Great, now HOW is Dracula supposed to get to the Early Bird Special? This is all Skeleton Man's fault. Dracula wanted to call a limo!

Grim

There AREN'T any limos in the desert!

You can't tell Dracula what IS or AIN'T in the desert!

Grim

OK, then, show me a limo.

[glancing around, then points off screen] There! Dracula see a limo.

Grim

[looking annoyed] That's a cactus.

THIS LIMO HURT DRACULA'S BUTT!

Grim

[after being stung by the giant scorpion] Dracula... DRACULA! Please hurry, I'm in terrible pain! You gotta suck out my poison!

Nuh-uh, Dracula don't suck.

Grim

But you're a vampire! Vampires suck... Blood!

Nah, see that's a myth. Dracula scrape with his fangs and lick up the blood. Like this... Scrape...then lick. Scrape...then lick.

Grim

[getting progressively weaker] But what about my poison...

Didn't Dracula just tell you about the scrape-and-lick? Now, Dracula's gonna say it again for dummies who don't pay attention! Scrape and lick!

Grim

Ooh... [Falls on the ground]

SCRAPE AND LICK!

My babies!

Well, maybe if you didn't make your babies so delicious, Dracula wouldn't have to eat 'em!

Get your butt up. Dracula still gotta make it to the Early Bird Special.

Grim

WHY are you such a selfish old man?

Whatcha say? Nobody calls Dracula old!

Grim

What do you know about me?! Nothing! You don't even know my name!

Your name is DUMMY, and if you knew anything about anything, you'd notice there's an Early Bird Special EVERY... SINGLE... DAY OF THE WEEK!

Grim

You just don't understand! You'll never understand! NEVER! [runs away crying]

No fried fish for Dracula then.

Yo' momma's so ugly that people go as her for Halloween!

Ooh!

Yo' momma's so stupid, she sold her car for gas money!

Ooh!

Yo' momma's so ugly, she made an onion cry!

[Laughing]

Yo' momma's so ugly, she turned Medusa to stone!

Ooh!

Yo' momma's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!

Ooh!

Yo' momma's so stupid, she cheated off Billy's test!

[Laughing]

Yeah, well! Uh!

Yo' momma's so ugly, she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning!

Ooh!

Uh, uh, uh, Yo' momma.

Now let me tell ya somethin! Yo' momma so ugly. I tell ya she's so ugly, she needs two bags to cover her face! Mmm-hmm! That the pound wouldn't take her away! No, they wouldn't! That Dracula wouldn't drink her blood!

Dracula wouldn't touch her with Wolfman's teeth!