2nd most-quoted character in The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy: in 124 of its 361 quotesMandy (54), Billy (50), Dracula (5)
Scenes with Grim 99
[psst, psst] , [Billy sneak at witness bench] Irwin!
Billy, I'm wet and I'm naked. And there's monster everywhere.
Don't worry, they won't hurt you. Unless they decide to hurt you. [Billy left the bench] Irwin, if you would, please read to this court your pre-written words that I, Billy, not MANDY, is the best person to take custody of said Grim.
I'm cold, yo! Can I get some pants please?
I believe... Billy is the best person... in all of the universe to take care of Grim. To keep him fed and clothed... and with or without him there will be nobody to unleash a deep reservoir of love...
Grim Reservoir of love?! Sick.
Not until you read the part about my warehouse of COMPASSION!
Objection! He's leading the witness.
I'm not leading him. I'm just trying to make him say exactly what I want him to say.
[Jeff is being questioned by Mandy in the court.]
JS Jeff the Spider
Hi, everyone.
Could you tell the court your relationship with Billy?
JS Jeff the Spider
He's my dad.
JC Jury and Court
Ewwwwwww!
Grim Billy only hatched the egg, people. That's all.
JC Jury and Court
Ohhhhhhhh...
And how would you rate Billy as a caregiver?
JS Jeff the Spider
Pretty good, I guess... except he's never remembered my birthday... or paid child support... in fact, he usually just jabs me with a big stick. OW!
[begins to jab Jeff with a really big stick] I'll jab you good, you filthy bug!
JS Jeff the Spider
Why don't you love me, dad?! I'll be anything you want me to be!
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Billy is a doofus. Just look at him. If you give Grim to Billy, he'll abuse him, abuse him in all the wrong ways.
But, if you give Grim to me, I'll abuse him in all the right ways!
Grim [gulps]
Grim That's right, I can change my size because I'm SUPERNATURAL!
Is it me or is Grim getting lamer?
B Boys
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Grim Blandy, Blandy! Thank goodness you're here. You've got to tell Billy there's nothing between us!
[Blandy shows her teeth evilly at Grim]
[doorbell rings]
[Grim walks off screen and returns with Billy and Irwin]
Grim Here you go, your highness. Count Idiot and Lord Weenie.
What do you want, bonehead?
Grim Billy's off to his Grammy's for the day, so I guess you have custody.
Grim Huh?
This is the one day of the year that's all about me.
Grim But I thought every day was all about Mandy.
True, but this is the one day of the year that I pamper myself. Manicure, pedicure, facial, massage. The works.
[Grim looks confused]
Okay, I sit on the couch, stuff myself with cheesy foam and watch demolition derby. The point is, I need a break!
Who dares challenge Skarr! Prepare to meet my DOOM !
Grim I guess it's your turn Billy... I mean Pud'n.
Grim I can't believe that you actually saved the humanity. But you hate humanity!
I won't be tricked into unleashing a never-ending sorrow on humanity. When the time comes, I'll do it on my own.
Grim, you're gonna tell me how to stop her, and you're gonna do it now.
Grim And why should I do that?
[angrily grabbing Grim by the neck of his cloak] You're gonna tell it! Or, so help me, I will pull your stupid cloak through your eyes and use it as reins to ride your bony butt back to the darkest pits of the Underworld FROM WHENCE YOU CAME!
Grim Aghh, OK! Sorry I asked, you little psychopath.
Great, now HOW is Dracula supposed to get to the Early Bird Special? This is all Skeleton Man's fault. Dracula wanted to call a limo!
Grim There AREN'T any limos in the desert!
You can't tell Dracula what IS or AIN'T in the desert!
Grim OK, then, show me a limo.
[glancing around, then points off screen] There! Dracula see a limo.
Grim [looking annoyed] That's a cactus.
[Camera cuts to Dracula sitting on cactus]
THIS LIMO HURT DRACULA'S BUTT!
TD Truck driver
Everyone thinks that once a fingernail falls off it's useless, but that's wrong. See, I've been writing a book about fingernail arts and crafts. Here, take a look at this.
Grim What's that?
TD Truck driver
Fingernail sunglasses! [Grim and Dracula are disgusted] The hardest part is finding enough fingernails, so sometimes I substitute toenails. Don't tell no one.
Grim [after being stung by the giant scorpion] Dracula... DRACULA! Please hurry, I'm in terrible pain! You gotta suck out my poison!
Nuh-uh, Dracula don't suck.
Grim But you're a vampire! Vampires suck... Blood!
Nah, see that's a myth. Dracula scrape with his fangs and lick up the blood. Like this... Scrape...then lick. Scrape...then lick.
Grim [getting progressively weaker] But what about my poison...
Didn't Dracula just tell you about the scrape-and-lick? Now, Dracula's gonna say it again for dummies who don't pay attention! Scrape and lick!
Grim Ooh... [Falls on the ground]
Get your butt up. Dracula still gotta make it to the Early Bird Special.
Grim WHY are you such a selfish old man?
Whatcha say? Nobody calls Dracula old!
Grim What do you know about me?! Nothing! You don't even know my name!
Your name is DUMMY, and if you knew anything about anything, you'd notice there's an Early Bird Special EVERY... SINGLE... DAY OF THE WEEK!
Grim You just don't understand! You'll never understand! NEVER! [runs away crying]
No fried fish for Dracula then.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy · 361 quotes
Grim
