Grim quotes from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Mandy

Do you know what is this?

Grim

Uhh... orange juice?

Mandy

Wrong. This is an empty Orange Juice container. Somebody drank it. They probably wanted me to get scurvy from lack of Vitamin C.

Grim

The only thing I keep in me' robe are terrible cursed objects! [makes scary noises]

Billy

[pulls out the Mask of the Beast] You mean like this one?

Grim

Yes, exactly like that.

Billy

Oooooh... it's a pair of butt wings!

Grim

No, you simpleton! It is the Mask of the Beast! Whoever puts it on must be nice, polite, friendly, and happy, or they'll turn into a terrible hideous beast!

Billy

OH! I WANNA BE A TERRIBLE HIDEOUS BEAST! [puts the Mask on his nose] Is it working? Is it working? Is it working?

Grim

[snatches the mask] You dope. It won't work on you. You've already been a hopelessly happy goon all day long.

Grim

Isn't about time for you to go?

Mandy

Yeah, the evil empire remember?

Billy

Captain Spring Green Squeaker reporting for intergalactical duty! In the name of truth, justice, and YOGURT![armpit squirts yogurt on Mandy and Grim.][Laughs]

Grim

[takes out notepad and pencil] What can I get for Billy?

Billy

Ooh! I wanna be green!

Grim

Okay, green!

Billy

Spring Green.

Grim

Spring Green.

Billy

[squeals] Ooh! And I want to squeak!

Grim

[confused] Squeak?

Billy

Yeah, every time I move. Squeak. And uh....

Mandy

Billy, pick a real superpower. [Milkshakes walks by covered in yogurt. He shakes the yogurt off his feet and paws.] So, what'll be?

[echoing] It's partially hydrogenated!

Billy

And to shoot Heifer Farms Brand fruit-at-the-bottom all-natural styled yogurt from my ARMPITS!!!

Grim

Billy, it worked! It worked! Now, what do you say we take Mandy and--

Billy

PIPE DOWN, YOU TALKIN' WIND-CHIME! YOU TALK WHEN I TELLS YOU TO TALK, YOU FOLLOW?!

Grim

[nervous] I follow.

Mandy

I'm gonna guess this has something to do with Billy.

Billy

Hey, Mandy.

Mandy

5 points for me. What are you doing?

Billy

Hiding from the clowns.

Mandy

The clown thing, I should have known. Get out here. [Billy comes out] You're gonna make me ask, aren't you?

Billy

Ask what?

Mandy

What's with all the oranges?

Billy

They're not oranges, they're tangelos.

Mandy

OK. What's with all the tangelos?

Billy

Clowns hate tangelos. Messes with their equilibrium.

Mandy

Who told you that fungus? [Oranges man walks away, whistling nervously] Billy, you've got to get over this ridiculous fear of clowns.

Billy

Who you calling ridi-culous? Well, what about your fear of professional figure skaters?

Mandy

That's not a fear. I just don't trust the way they spin is all.

Billy

You gotta believe me, Mandy! The clowns are nothing but ultimate evil! They wanna become the dominant species on the planet, and they'll destroy us all to make it happen! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! I'll take the chicken. DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!!

Mandy

[annoyed] All right, that's it! [Mandy has been carrying Grim (in several pieces) around in her backpack]

Grim

Okay, we need to talk about this backpack thing. It's very demeaning. I'm the Grim Reaper, for goodness sake! I used to have a chariot of four-hundred burning horses. My arrival on the scene would be a raging thunderclap of fear! Now it's "Hey, have you seen Grim? Yeah! I think he's wedged between a history textbook and a tuna-fish sandwich!"

Billy

DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL!! DESTROY US ALL! DESTROY US ALL!!

Mandy

[dressed as a clown] Billy! Don't fear us! We're here to make you smile!

Grim

[also dressed as a clown] And for crying out loud, stop wettin' yourself!

Mandy

What was that?!

Grim

I told you I can't juggle! I wanted to do the routine with the umbrellas, but you said "No"! [Billy tries to crawl away] And where do you think you’re going?! [picks Billy up by the collar of his shirt and shakes him] Listen! STOP BEING AFRAID OF CLOWNS! STOP IT, YOU NINNY! STOP IT, OKAY?! STOP BEING AFRAID OF CLOWNS!

Billy

Gotta go to my happy place, gotta go to my happy place, happy place, HAPPY PLACE...

Hey, guess what - chicken butt, but seriously, did you know at Flabburger they actually THROW AWAY food that's been under a heat lamp for more than 36 hours? So, I brought you dorks lunch.

Grim

[transformed into a hideous monster; sarcastically] Here, Eris. Put it on my slimy flippers.

Mandy

[also a hideous monster; sarcastically] No, Eris, put it in my claw of a head, or rest it on Billy's udders.

Billy

[shoots milk out of his nose] Heh heh, I gots an udder.

Billy

I'll win Mandy back, or die trying!

Grim

Let me know if you need help with the last part!

Mandy

Better be good, Bobby.

Grim

Where's he taking us, Mandy?

Mandy

I don't know? Bobby said: "It was a surprise".

Mandy

What the..

Their gifts for the both of you my two bestest friends!

Mandy

Uh, you're giving me a car? But I can't drive yet.

It's just something nice for being such good friends!

Mandy

I...I don't know what to say? But you're much better friend than Billy ever was.

Grim

I'll see. [he honks a car horn for twice]

Yeah, I'm not just some Billy clone, guys. I'm by own person, I am your friend! [laughing] Who even remembers old Billy what's his name, anyway?

Grim

Billy, what are you doing with my scythe?

Billy

Nothing?

Mandy

Where's Bobby at?

Billy

Oh, I sent him to another dimension.

Grim

Yeah, I never really like him too much anyway.

Mandy

Me neither, I only hung out with them because I had nothing better to do. Hey, Billy! fetch me some water, you doug.

Billy

I'm bet in a settle!

Yes, Irwin's mom is actually a mummy. Nobody can tell you who to fall in love with, but we've managed to make it work all these years. Leaving a whole lot of questions that don't need to be answered.

Mandy

Eh, works for me.

Grim

Me too.

Billy

...But how did you and Irwin's mom...

Leaving a whole lot of questions that don't need to be answered.

Billy

Grim, why do the good die young?

Grim

Well, it's mostly because I get confused.

Grim

Milkshakes, where are you going?

[hiding behind the unconscious Milkshakes] To destroy all that is good. ...I mean, meow.