Billy quotes from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Mandy

Billy, do you want to be a TV star?

Billy

I wish!

Mandy

Wish granted.

Grim

Hey, Billy, have you seen my scythe?

Billy

I just sold it to Irwin for a smashed amusement park penny.

Grim

YOU WHAT!?

Billy

I just...sold it to...Irwin.

Grim

Do you realize what could happen if my scythe gets into the wrong hands?!

Billy

I sure do! I mean, no.

Grim

It could cause mass destruction and chaos, creating an imbalance in the universe, and bringing about the end of time as we know it!

Billy

You make funny faces when you're angry.

Irwin

Oh, Mandy. Our time together has meant, so much to me. I picked this flower for you as a..

Billy

Excuse me, sir. Wouldn't you have a great time?

Irwin

Look, I've kind of getting a groove on. If you know what I'm saying?

Billy

My. What a nice-looking scythe you have today! Where did you get it?

Irwin

I stole it from the Grim Reaper, alright? Now if you don't mind...Wait a second, you look familiar. Do I know you somewhere?

Billy

You sure don't, Irwin.

Irwin

Oh, okay. Billy!

Grim

Mandy! Snap out of it! Irwin's using my scythe to control you. You gotta fight it!

Mandy

Ugh.... Grim, Is that you?

Grim

Yes, Mandy! It's me!

Irwin

Oh no, you don't! [he's using a scythe to zap to Mandy]

Mandy

What the heck is going on? [she got zapped from the scythe by Irwin] Irwin is my boyfriend.

Grim

No!

Irwin

You're gonna pay for that, Grim!

Billy

Hey, barf-face! Bet you can zap me with your stupid scythe!

Irwin

You asked for it! [he zapped with the scythe]

Billy

Nope. Miss me. Try again. Uh-uh. You got nothing!

Irwin

[angrily screaming] You're gotta get it, Billy! What the?! Who did that?!

Grim

Incoming! [he jumps on a seesaw with a pile of rocks to throw at Irwin with a scythe]

Irwin

Ha! It's that all you got?!

Grim

Darn! We need something harder then rocks.

Billy

I got it!

Grim

[he picked his scythe on a ground] Mine! [smooching]

Mandy

Get a room.

Grim

Mandy! You're back to normal!

Irwin

[groans] M-Mandy?

Mandy

You know, Irwin, the thing about crushes is, they always hurt in the end. That's why they're called CRUSHES.

Come on, dad. What do we sit around talk about this like normal people?

Billy

[inside a tumbling giant teacup] NEVER!

Billy

Hey, pal. Don't be sad. You're a nerd! So what? Nerds play an important role in the world.

Irwin

Like what?

Billy

Well, nerds are like the moist towelettes in the universe. They make other people feel better about themselves.

Irwin

Thanks, Billy. I guess.

Billy

Glad I could help.

Grim

Hi, honey, I'm home! Man, even the flies were dropping like flies. [sniffs] What that smell.

Grim

Hello dear, whats cooking?

AAGH!

Grim

My favorite. Oh, what did I ever do to deserve a wife as good as you?

AAGH!

Grim

I just love these quiet evenings, don't you?

AAGH!

Grim

Wait, this is not my beautiful home! This is not my beautiful wife! [Screams]

Billy

Same as it ever was. [Repeated multiple times]

Grim

[screams]

Labbie, Timmy has fallen into a well again! Go save him, Labbie!

Mandy

Do we have anything else to watch?

Billy

But if we turn it off now, we won't know what happens to Labbie!

Grim

Woof, woof.

Oh, Labbie! You're our hero! Here, take this golden dog bone as a token of our gratitude.

Woof, woof!

Billy

Hey, are you guys puh-psychic?

Grim

No, you pea-brain. We've watched this movie 60 times in a row.

Billy

It's over!

Grim

Woo-hoo! Yes, now what shall we do?

Billy

LET'S WATCH IT AGAIN!

Run, Labbie! Run like a wind!

Billy

I can't believe that Timmy fell into the well again. I mean, wouldn't he get sick of falling into it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over-and over and over and over, ooh, it's over; let's watch it again!

NO!

Grim

No more Labbie!

Grim

Billy, what happened here?

Billy

I don't know, Grim... I fell asleep, and I had this crazy dream that I was NAKED at school and the Tchupakabra attacked me!

Grim

Billy! Oh, my goodness! What's that?!

Billy

What's what?

Grim

Over there!

Billy

I don't see...

Grim

On your back!

Billy

On my hat?

Grim

Curse you boy! On your back!

Billy

Of course your wasting your time sharpening that piece of crud!

Grim

[angry] Why you little... [Scythe shatters and the lights go out]

Billy

[in the dark] Where'd all the pieces go? [A light is turned on and it shines thru the holes in Billy's face] Wow! Look at the lights!

Mandy

[Holding a flashlight] Power tools in the dark? Darwin should be paying you goons a royalty.

Mandy

[trying to be nice] Billy, we've known each other now for what seems like a nightmarish eternity. And though I insult you and lie to you daily, steal your stuff, make fun of you, your family, and anyone who looks like you, I still don't feel like I [frustrated grunt] know you. Why don't you tell me more about yourself?

Billy

If I told you, you wouldn't understand. I'm a very complex and multi-layered person.

Billy

[speaking rapidly] But if you really want to know more about me, it's all here in my new autobiography! Hot off the presses! Complete and UNABRIDGED'!

Billy

We're here to see Mrs. Fingerwiggle.

Mandy

Pollywinkle.

Billy

Hairyankle!

Mandy

Pollywinkle!

Billy

Terrytingle?

Mandy

Pollywinkle.

Billy

Molly Ringwald!

Mandy

Pollywinkle! Oh, forget it!

Mindy

You REALLY are going to enter the Little Miss Scurvy pageant, aren't you, Mandy?

Mandy

Yes, Mindy. Scared of the competition?

Mindy

I'm scared that the judges will mistake you for a big doo-doo monster and chase you out of town with torches.

Grim

Oh, yeah? We'll see who chases whom with torches.

Billy

Yeah! Mandy'll take your pants off!

Grim

Beat your pants off...

Billy

BEAT your pants off.

Mindy

Oh, I'm SO sure she'll win. And in case you didn't know -- that was sarcasm. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get a rib removed.

[about Mandy] What does this girl's attitude say to you?

Billy

It says bad things. Things I'm not supposed to repeat. Make the bad things go away! [cries] I'll be good Mommy! I promise.

Exactly. She is what we refer her as "sour grapes".

Gentlemen, prepare for shock and awe. The plain, drab Mandy you knew before is dead.

Billy

GRIM, SHE MURDERED MANDY!

Grim

It's a figure of speech, dummy!