[trying to be nice] Billy, we've known each other now for what seems like a nightmarish eternity. And though I insult you and lie to you daily, steal your stuff, make fun of you, your family, and anyone who looks like you, I still don't feel like I [frustrated grunt] know you. Why don't you tell me more about yourself?
If I told you, you wouldn't understand. I'm a very complex and multi-layered person.
[He blows tiny gum bubbles]
[speaking rapidly] But if you really want to know more about me, it's all here in my new autobiography! Hot off the presses! Complete and UNABRIDGED'!
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