Billy quotes from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

Billy

Mandy, what are you doing? This doesn't involve you!

Billy

YOU LIE! YOU'RE A DIRTY LIAR!

Billy

Is it that show about the little girl who wanders around the jungle without any adult supervision, averting crisis and conversing with wild animals with the aid of her foreign language-speaking monkey?

Billy

[beholds the Endsville playset] A natural disaster. [carries a meteor toy] GIANT ASTEROID FROM OUTER SPACE! [slams the meteor toy onto the Endsville playset and the meteor toy smashes through a window] I suppose a giant meteor should work.

Billy

Hey, bear butt! Bet you can't hit me with one of those stupid rubber bands.

Billy

What the- Sp-sp-sp-sp-SPIDERS! [screams]

Grim

You and that wretched girlfriend of yours are great enough separately, but together... you're insufferable.

Billy

Insufferable? I don't even know what that means. And hey, Mandy's not my girlfriend! She's just a FRIEND, who happens to be a GIRL, just like I happen to be a BOY, and you happen to be a SKELETONN. It's the differences that make our planet so rich, diverse, and wonderful!

Grim

I still hate you, though.

Billy

You think that was too mince?

Mandy

He said he didn't want to. You know what that means!

Billy

You're right.

Mandy

This is getting boring. Let's torture the Grim Reaper.

Billy

[leaving Mandy's room] OK.

Grim

[sobbing] I hate you so much! I'm so miserable!

Billy

That's good, cause misery goes nice with PIE!

Grim

That's it! I'VE HAD IT! [slices the pie and Laughs]

Mandy

Hey, thank you slicing the pie, Grim.

Billy

Yeah! And WE deserve a nice treat about NOW!

Billy

This is scary. Let's watch something else.

Grim

Aw, come on. I've seen scarier stuff in your toilet.

Billy

True.

Billy

Gee, Milkshake. I think Mandy might be mad at me now. I think I deserve on an account of all the naughty stuff I made her do. I deserved to be punished.

Mandy

[Now inside Milkshake's body] Touching.

Billy

M-M-M-Mandy?

Mandy

You know, Billy, you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

Grim

That was a great idea kicking Nergal in the shin. I wonder why I didn't think of that?

Mandy

That's because you have no brain. Speaking of no brain, where's Billy?

Billy

[talking to a cardboard cutout of Mandy] Gee, Mandy, it sure was a great idea kicking Nergal in the shin like that. [many hours later] Hey, did you do something to your hair?

Billy

I HATE BUGS! OH MY GOSH! WHAT IF I TURN INTO A BUG RIGHT NOW?!

Mandy

Let's do a bug test. Tell me the first thing that crawls into your little brain. Lady.

Billy

Bug!

Mandy

June.

Billy

Bug!

Mandy

Yo sucka don't be...

Billy

Buggin'!

Mandy

Yep. You're turning into a bug.

Billy

[screams] BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG!

Billy

The bike rocks! The wheels are like circles! [The bike crashes and he falls] The bike is fine. I should still be able to ride it at home. [The bike catches on fire] I'm sweating, I should get one lemonade.

Billy

Who needs a dumb bike to have fun anyway? Walking can be its own reward. Come on, legs, you can do it.

Irwin

Hello, Billy.

Billy

Hello, Irwin.

Irwin

I'm having so much fun with my bike!

Irwin

Oh no!

Mindy

[knocks Billy over] Sorry! Are you alright, Billy?

Billy

Yep, I'm fine. What have you got on your feet?

Mindy

Rollerblades. You put one on each foot and whoosh!

Billy

You knocked me over.

Mindy

Yes. Sorry. I'll better see how they work. Look. And back the other way!

Billy

[laughs] Very good.

Mindy

Let's go! [Skates off]

Billy

Mindy's going fast. I saw an opportunity and I seized it.

Irwin

It was my bike tire. Look. It a got puncture.

How do bikes work?

Irwin

With pedals.

Irwin

Mr. Kid has mended my bike.

Billy

Irwin, Pud'n, Sperg and Mandy have bikes, Mindy has rollerblades and Shelly Marsh and General Skarr has a motorbikes.

Billy

Is it a red tricycle?

You always have to promise to drive it.

Billy

I promise!

I just remembered this story about a tortoise and a hare.

Billy

Can I tell you a story about the tortoise and the hare before I go with the red tricycle?

Of course you can.

Billy

Once there was a tortoise and a hare. They decided to have a race. But the tortoise was very slow. The hare knew he could run much faster than the tortoise and overtook him at once.

Then what happened?

Billy

Well, the hare stopped for a little rest and fell asleep.

Never!

Billy

And the tortoise, who was taking it very steady, overtook him.

You cannot be serious!

Billy

And to everyone's surprise, the tortoise won the race.

The story ended. It's time to go. Don't forget. You must drive it.

Billy

You’re a three-wheel dream! I'll name you... Trykie! Come on, Trykie, let's go have some fun!

Billy

Guys! Hey, guys! Do you notice anything new?

Irwin

[he and Pud'n burst out laughing] What is that, yo? Is that a tricycle?

Billy

Yep. Its name is Trykie.

Irwin

Incoming data packet for Billy: only big babies ride tricycles.

Billy

That’s not true.

Irwin

Ready for your bottle?

Billy

I’m not a big baby! I’m a young adult.

[singing] Baby Billy sitting in his crib, dripping mashed potatoes all down his bib.

Billy

You’re wrong! Trykie is cool! And I haven't worn a bib in months!

Grim

[scanning Billy] Just as I suspected. His brain is caught in a weird juju vortex, and his good luck matrix is in the red. This could only mean one thing: Catastrophe Snail!

Billy

Catastrophe Snail?!

Grim

Right in your noodle.

Mandy

But how did it get there?

Grim

It must have been in that restaurant when Billy spilled the salt. I told him to throw salt over his shoulder to PREVENT bad luck, but Billy panicked. He reached for the salt, but he grabbed the pepper. That's when the snail must have appeared on Billy's shoulder. Salt would've have fizzled that slimeball, but Billy threw pepper. And at that time, the whole place was sneezing. So, that snail slipped right into Billy's ear with nobody noticing a ting. Once the Catastrophe Snail gets in your head, he plugs his shell right into brain. And once he's plugged in, mon, he'll be reprogramming your mind to have nothing but bad luck only. Dig it?

I love my job.

Grim

Yeah, mon. And if we don't pull him out soon... I guess it's fatal.

Billy

[screaming] He's messing with my head!