Billy quotes from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

So son, wanna go fishin'?

Billy

NO! Turkey

[happily] That's the spirit!

Billy

Thanks, Mr. One Eye.

General Skarr

My name is Mr. Skarr!

Billy

How come you got only one eye? Are you sensitive about it? Because if I had only one eye, I would be sensitive about it. You should wear an eye patch like a pirate, then all you need is a puffy shirt. Do you own a puffy shirt? You look like you would.

Mandy

So, we were thinking of setting you free.

Grim

Really?

Billy

Yeah. All you gotta do is say you're a little girl.

Grim

I'm... a little girl.

Mandy

I'm not sure I bought it.

Billy

Yeah! Are you a PRETTY girl?

Grim

[high-pitched, feminine voice] I'm very pretty! Look at me! I'm QUEEN pretty! Aren't boys just so dreamy? I can talk on the phone for hours about nothing!

Mandy

Grim...?

Grim

Let's brush my hair! And paint my toes!

Mandy

...you can stop. We were only kidding.

Grim

Oh, it's FUN to accessorize! Let's all ride some magical pink ponies! I'll name mine Sparkles Fantastic!

Billy

That story was so beautiful, it gave me gas. [farts] But don't you ever miss your old job?

General Skarr

[fondly] Miss commanding regimented forces of destructive power? As we encircle the globe with our terrible iron fists of might? [raising his voice and slowly becoming more maniacal] Crushing down all the pathetic fools who dared stand before us? Gorging our bellies on their cries for mercy, until at last, I ALONE STAND AS THE GLORIOUS DARK LORD OF ALL THE KNOWN UNIVERSE?!!!! [gasps for breath before suddenly calming down] Not at all. Don't miss it.

General Skarr

[On phone] Hello?

Billy

[Whispering] Ultimate power.

THIS IS NOT THE MASTER!

Billy

You won't make friends with that attitude!

Billy

You know what, Pinocchiochiochiochiochiochiochio? You're funny.

Funny? Why... there's nothing funny about being made of wood.

Billy

...wuzzat you say?

I sure wish I was a real boy, like you!

Billy

Uhh...yeah...well... I gotta go!...

Yeah! And the only way for me to to become a real boy, is to devour the flesh of the real boy. Can I please eat your flesh?

Billy

AAH! [running in terror]

Billy

NOOO! He'll steal my soul!

Grim

Well, if he doesn't, I get second dibs.

Mandy

彼 の 目 は まだ きちがい だ。[His eyes are still wrong]

Grim

Hmm.

Billy

I can't understand a thing you're saying! [Grim zaps his eyes again. Billy now sees Grim and mandy in a child's cartoon] Mandy? Grim?!

Grim

[happy voice] I finally think he's back to normal. [Child Mandy giggles. Billy's eyes turn angry and show Grim in each one]

Billy

[roars] Oh, so you're laughing at me?! Gimme that! [snatches Grim's scythe] You're trying to mess with me, aren't ya, Grim? Well, I'm not gonna letcha! Ya hear?! I'm not gonna letcha!

Grim

I assure you, your suspicions are completely unfounded. Mandy and I are only here to help you.

Billy

[babbles crazily; his teeth rattle] Stay away from my eyes! [He swings the scythe at them]

Grim

Billy, this is madness! [Billy chases them, swinging the scythe at them]

Billy

ARGH!

Billy

It's our picnic fixings!

Grim

Picnic? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. You remember what happened last time, don't you?

Billy

Please pass the egg salad.

[popping out of the bushes] RAGGLE FRAGGLE!

Billy

Ahhhh! Somebody help me!

Billy

Yeah, that was pretty special. Wanna see my emotional scars?

Mandy

[coming into the room] What happened here? Did the refrigerator throw up?

Grim

Billy want us to go on a picnic.

Mandy

No way, José. You remember what happened last time?

Gladys

[coming into the room] Have you crazy kids been flashing back in here?

Grim

Yah. We've been trying to talk Billy out of going on a picnic.

Gladys

A picnic? Oh, honey! No! No! You remember what happened last time!

[coming into the room] What is this, a party?

Gladys

Dad! Talk some sense into your son! He wants to go on a... picnic!

After what happened last time? You all remember that, right?

Billy

[off screen] Please pass the egg salad.

[leaps out of the bushes] RAGGLE FRAGGLE!

Billy

Ahhhh! Somebody help me!

[Laughs] I say we let the boy go!

Billy

Rock on!

Billy

[Singing] Walking in the woods, walking in the woods, just lookin' for a place where to eat all our foods! [A scruffy Yogi Bear peeks out of the bushes, his eyes bloodshot and clothes torn]

Psst! Psst! Hey, little girl. Come here for a second. [Billy comes over to him] That's a nice pic-a-nic basket you got there.

Billy

Yeah, it's OK. [Pause]

You got some nice sandwiches in there, I bet.

Billy

Sure, I suppose.

[Steps closer] I think this is a good place for your pic-a-nic.

Billy

[Uneasily] Yeah, I don't know.

[Bends down to take the basket] Here. Let me set it up for you. [Booboo, who is also scruffy and ugly, sticks his head out of the bush]

You get the food yet, Yogi?

Shhhh!

Billy

L-look, I think I really gots to get going.

Hey, that's cool, man. Let me just... gimme that basket! [tries to grab the basket, but Billy runs away]

[who is fat with big nipples] Don't let him get away! [Yogi gives chase, waving his arms in the air and yelling gibberish. He stops, gets down on all fours and sniffs the ground while Billy hides behind a tree]

I know you're close, you dirty human!

Billy

Hey, I'm not dirty, I just had a bath fifteen days ago! Oops! [He covers his mouth as Yogi glars at him. He then chases him again] Aah! Aah! [Billy runs into a cave] Hey, ya dumb bears. You can't get me now. I'm in a cave.

He's right, Booboo. We bears are terribly afraid of caves.

Why are we so lame, Yogi?

We're stuck with mushrooms! Here, try one.

Billy

It tastes like my cat!

They taste like EVERYONE'S cat! It's been 300 years and I STILL hate the taste. I've worked with mushrooms for so long, even my sweat SMELLS like 'em! Here, take a whiff.

Billy

[Sniffs Beardbottom's armpit] Whew, you ain't kiddin'!

Billy

[appearing in the flashback] Hey, wait a second! Hold up. How can you be mad at the Elves? You chose to trade cookies for mushrooms!

Hey, did that kid just step into the flashback?

What manner of sorcery be this?

Grim

I wonder how Billy's picnic is going.

Billy

HEY, GRIM! HEY, MANDY!

Grim

That answers one question, yet raises so many others...

Billy

Oh, Grim. The TV wants to talk to you.

Grim

TV?

Hello, Grim.

Grim

[perplexed] Hello, TV...