SSarah
I'm just here to pick up Marvin.
SophiaWell, if it isn't Mrs. Caligula! Come on in and pull up a whip!
You two have a lot of explaining to do.
MMarvin
I'm sorry, Sarah. I told them we're married.
Why did you lie to my mother?
SSarah
We didn't mean to lie, we just wanted to make sure that Sophia was the right one.
Then it is true! You wanted my mother for sex games! Oh my god, this is unbelievable!
Sophia
It's not that unbelievable.
Rose, could I see you for a moment?
[walks over] You're mad, aren't you?
Rose Nylund, every man I know is watching this show, this live show, this live show about lesbian lovers of Miami.
Every man you know is watching? Hey, we could beat The Price is Right!
Rose, we can't kill you here because there are cameras. Now how did this happen?
Oh, I don't know. They just said they wanted two women who loved each other and slept together.
We DO NOT sleep together!
Yes, you did! Last month, whe-, when Blanche was having her room repainted because the plaster behind her headboard all fell out!
Listen. I'm not going through with this!
Blanche, if you leave, they'll fire me!
Good. My mother is here. My teacher is here. Good!
If I lose my job, I won't be able to do anything but... sit home and tell St. Olaf stories!
Blackmail! Oh, ho, ho, ho, very smart!
Hey, they don't call me "Harold Goldstein" for nothing!
[aside, to Blanche] Maybe if we don't say anything. We're not on camera that much, I mean, we can't let Rose lose her job.
[The program begins]
NMNews Man
We're back. Let's meet our panelists... Dorothy, a lesbian. Blanche, another lesbian. And Pat and Kathy, image consultants.
How come THEY'RE not lesbians?
PPat
We don't believe in labels.
NMNews Man
Oh - I see we have a question from the audience. Yes, sir?
MIMan in the Audience
Are there male-female roles in the relationship?
Well, I AM the little homemaker if that's what you mean. [laughs nervously]
[pissed] Now, wait a minute, just w...
...and I take out the garbage.
NMNews Man
Fascinating. Any other questions? Ah, here we go.
Sophia
[pointing at Blanche] This is directed to Dorothy's lover. Do people treat you differently because you're a lesbian?
[laughing nervously] Most people don't know.
Sophia
Really? I would've guessed right off. Next question to Dorothy. What kind of pain and embarrassment has this lifestyle caused your mother?
[menacingly] I really don't know but, I'll ask her tomorrow when I visit her at... THE HOME.
Sophia
No more questions.
Sophia
[enters the kitchen] Dorothy, I just got off the phone with my girlfriend Gladys. She thinks you can do better than Blanche.
I agree, but Ma, if it's all right with you, I have a lot of work to do here.
I can't believe you're still working on that article! I thought you were just going to help organize it.
Sophia
I can't believe you're doing this again. You're letting him take advantage of you like he did in high school.
He is under a lot of pressure and I don't want him to kiss his deadline! [weird looks from everyone] Miss. Miss his deadline.
Sophia
Ooooh, Mr. Gordon! [makes kissing sounds]
[after an unpleasant experience at the shoe store with Sophia] Sophia, there's something I don't understand. Now, you're always a bit ornery, unpleasant, impolite, even downright mean. That's part of your charm.
Sophia
Thank you, you bedhopping relic.
[pops Sophia's balloon from the shoe store]
[At the reunion, Rose goes over to the other girls holding several pieces of paper.]
When no one was looking, I went by the No-Show table and I got four name tags for us! Blanche, you'll be Susan Armstrong... [gives Blanche a name tag] ...and Dorothy, you'll be Cindy Lou Peeples... [gives Dorothy a name tag] ...and Sophia, you're Myron Zucker. [gives an irked Sophia a name tag]
Sophia
Rose, you idiot, there's no way I'm ever gonna pass for a man! Dorothy, trade with me?
Go to hell, Myron. Rose, I don't wanna wear this.
Oh come on, I looked in the yearbook and you're a dead ringer for Cindy Lou Peeples.
Trust me, it'll work, or my name isn't Kim Fung Toi [pasting tag to her shirt].
LTLarry Tucker
[to Sophia] Excuse me...aren't you Mrs. Gonzalez, Spanish 101?
Sophia
Sí!
LLarry
Hi, Larry Tucker! [shakes Sophia's hand] You know, I-I was always afraid to tell you this when I was in your class, but... [shyly] I had a huge crush on you back then!
Sophia
Why didn't you ever do anything about it?
LLarry
Mrs. Gonzalez -- you were my teacher!
Sophia
And you were my favorite student. But I'm not your teacher anymore. And Mr. Gonzalez is dead. [pause] Let's mambo! [grabs Larry and starts dancing with him]
Sophia
...I guess this is it.
Dorothy, you don't have to say anything.
What can you say about 7 years of fights and laughter...secrets...cheesecake...
Just that...it's been very...it was been an experience that I'll always keep close to my heart. [sobbing] And that these are memories that...I'll wrap myself in when the world gets cold and I forget that there are people who are warm and loving and...
We love you, too...[girls embrace and cry]...You'll always be a part of us.
Your friendship was something I never expected at this point of my life, and I could never ask for a better surprise
[sobbing] That's how we feel too.
Dorothy......is this goodbye?
[walks to the door, looks at the girls and nods]...I love you, always [leaves room while the girls stare at the door. Dorothy re-appears from the door] Oh god I love you! [girls embrace again]
[sobbing] Oh Dorothy...Dorothy...
[sobbing] Lucas is waiting [heads to the door again, looks at girls] You're angels...all of you [leaves room again while the girls stare at the door again. Dorothy comes out from the backyard hall] OH GOD, I'LL MISS YOU!!! [girls embrace once more] Listen I have a flight... [heads for the door once more] ...you'll always be my sisters... [sobbing] always [leaves room for good while the girls stare at the door again then at the backyard hall and at the kitchen door. The three remaining girls embrace, sobbing]
The Golden Girls · 1,009 quotes
