Jack Glass quotes from The Gentlemen

Jack Glass

[Eddie approaches training in boxing gym] Oi! Want a fight? [laughs] I’m fucking with you, mateǃ Joking. Unless you want one? You army boys love a ruck, don’t ya?

Actually, I’m looking for your sister.

Jack Glass

Business or pleasure?

Strictly business.

Jack Glass

Better be. [laughs] Just fucking with yaǃ Watch yourself. She’s got the right hump. You might be better off in hereǃ

[at a pub] I’ve got a lot of time for your mum. Takes good care of herself. Good sense of humor. A little bit eccentric, but who isn’t?

Just a little. So are you gonna talk to my neighbor, then?

I’ll take the meeting. See if it’s appropriate. At least someone did their due diligence.

Despite the, uh, few minor niggles we might’ve come across in the last couple of days, you actually came out on top.

I don’t appreciate being shot at, Edward. In fact, and this may come as a shock to you, given my chosen career path, I actually make a point of avoiding being shot at, at all times. Having said that, I will admit you proved yourself useful in the end.

Jack Glass

[sits at table] Oi, oi, love birds. Don’t mind me.

Hello, mate.

Jack Glass

Fire in the hole. I’ve gotta get this straight, ’cause Blanket was making no sense. According to him, you had a spin on master chef over there and blew up a load of Nazis. With a fucking grenade.

Nazi. Singular.

Jack Glass

Now we have a rare art collection and two farms to set up. I take it all back. Suze, he’s a proper G.

You’re a fucking idiot, Jack.

Jack Glass

[raises glass] To Eddie, the grand duke of getting shit done.

Hmm, no, no, no. I’m not cheersing to that.

All right. Why don’t we cheers to looking in the envelope?

To looking in the envelope.

Jack Glass

Whatever the fuck that means.

Mr. Lawrence, could you remove that, please?

Of course, sir. It was left there by your brother.

Oh yes, I’m aware.

Eggs Benedict?

Yes, please. And some tea. Thank you.

Sabrina Horniman

Darling, you ought to talk to Freddy. His recent obsession with marijuana production is really too much.

Right.

Sabrina Horniman

He’s started talking to the plants.

And when he’s not talking to them, he’s talking about them, and it’s very fucking boring.

All right. [cell phone buzzes] All right. I promise I’ll have a word with him. [answers phone] Hello?

You slinked off a bit early last night, didn't you.

I had to go and see an old friend. How did it go with Chucky?

The situation turns out to be a little more complicated than anticipated.

Chucky Kubra

[on live video call] This is a special shout out to all my mandem worldwide, yeah? Brum-town boys. When you see this skinny, handsome bastard, yeah, fucking grab him by the neck and crush him like a cockroachǃ

Chucky had a busy night in the world of social media.

Chucky Kubra

On sight, smash all his nan’s windows, fuck him up, or shag his dadǃ Whatever you like, manǃ Penetrate, penetrateǃ

The upshot is that my brother needs to take a sojourn for a few days. We need him to focus on his training. No distractions.

[points] On sightǃ

Chucky Kubra

[gestures] Bang bangǃ

Given how eager you are to move things on swiftly, I wondered if you might be willing to let him come and stay.

For fuck’s sake. You were supposed to sort this.

And I’m in the process of doing exactly that. After all, Jack did bang Chucky’s missus. The polite thing to do is to allow sobriety to percolate. Then I’ll remind him of how hierarchy operates.

Fine.

Jack Glass

Sweet.

Sabrina Horniman

Are we expecting guests?

It would appear so, yes.

Here you are, sir. This way.

[setting up punching bag in barn] Susie Glass’s brother?

Jack Glass

The one and only. Yeah. In, uh, the middleweight eliminator.

Well, Mr. Big Time, jump on the bag and show us what you’ve got.

[approaches Jack before boxing match] You all right, babe? You know, it’s weird.

Jack Glass

I’m actually fucking nervous.

I never get nervous. You got nothing to worry about, Jack. Look, do you remember that Christmas when Dad got you your first pair of boxing gloves? You were, what, four years old?

Jack Glass

Yeah. And he told me to hit him as hard as I could.

You did. Punched him straight in the bollocks. He couldn’t walk for a week. He was five times your size, Jack. You had nothing to be scared of then, and you’ve got nothing to be scared of now.

Lord Hawthorne

[at an eating establishment] I've always taken great pleasure in the culinary delights of the invertebrate. [chuckles] The crushed ice. The gleaming treasure served up on a calciferous shell. The slippery feeling as it glides down your throat. Do you take a couple of chews on the way, or do you prefer to swallow them whole?

Jack Glass

Well, it depends on the oysters. When they're this fresh, you need to give them a bit of a chomp. Make sure they're dead.

Lord Hawthorne

Oh. Wonderful how the animal instinct kicks in, even in as refined a setting as this. Tell me something, Jack. If you had to be an animal, which animal would it be?

Jack Glass

Well, Dad always says I fight like a dog. But I think that's a compliment.

Lord Hawthorne

[chuckles] Oh, you're much higher up the food chain than that. A lion, maybe. Or perhaps a wolverine. I've always identified as a fox. You see, I'm wily and cunning. And I have a very bushy tail.

Jack Glass

Listen, Richard. I don't mind a bit of chasey-chasey, but there's gonna be no sucky-fucky at the end.

Lord Hawthorne

Oh, Jack, Jack, Jack. [chuckles] I think you've completely misread things. I wouldn't...

Jack Glass

I don't mind playing the game and having a little flirt, if it makes you happy. But your cock and my arse? Not gonna happen. Not that I have a problem with it. It just ain't really my relish.

Lord Hawthorne

What is your relish?

Jack Glass

Mіnge, mսff, gash, clunge. Front, not back bottom.

Bobby Glass

[in sauna] So, what do people do at Lord Hawthorne's parties?

It's all very modern, Dad. Not your thing.

Bobby Glass

Right. What did he want? Your cock?

Jack Glass

Yeah.

Bobby Glass

[exhales] Did you give him some?

Jack Glass

If I thought I could get away with just a bit of cock, I would have obliged. But it's my arsehole I was worried about.

Bobby Glass

Nice to see you still got your principles.

He's saying the terms of the deals weren't met.

Bobby Glass

Well, they met. He went out.

No, he's saying he didn't commit. Did you commit to going out?

Jack Glass

I committed to going out, but not going in.

Bobby Glass

I rest my case. The upshot is Lord Hawthorne's asked to increase the financials as recompense. And given the time constraints... we think we should give him what he wants. What time constraints?

Bobby, the vote to decide who becomes the new hereditary peer is at the end of the week. With Hawthorne's help, we get me into the House of Lords, where I control which way the bill to decriminalize mɑrіjսɑnɑ goes.

Bobby Glass

How much?

150.

Bobby Glass

That's a 5x increase. Now, we... we've got to remember our principles here. Jack did what Jack was supposed to do. Jack stuck to his obligations.

Look, 150 is nothing in context. We could have paid him 2 million. Let's not let principles get in the way.

Bobby Glass

[gets up]Sorry? You... You wanna say that again?

I think you heard what I said, Bobby.

Bobby Glass

Yeah, I did. And the statement disturbs me. You see, we don't fսck around with our principles. These people, they don't know who they're dealing with. So we pay them the agreed sum. [slams bench] Now, you put a fսcking gun down on the table in front of them and watch their arsehole fall out. You need a hand with that, you give me a shout. [Bannik places handgun on table] I ain't paying that posh cսոt another fսcking shekel.

What if we paid Lord Hawthorne out of the problem fund?

Dad wouldn't be happy if he found out.

If he finds out. He doesn't need to know till we decide to tell him. He'll thank us for our initiative.

You know as well as I do, if we went around his back, he wouldn't look upon it kindly.

If he finds out, Sue.

You're in a particularly mischievous mood today, Edward.

Well, just trying to find a solution to the problem.

Why don't we talk to him together? [gets DM from Geoff saying "problem with the lawyer"] Unless you're otherwise engaged.

No, it's just Geoff. Don't mind me.

How's he handling his new remit? Must be hard, wearing two hats.

Let's just say he's, uh, extremely capable. Look, uh, it might be worth you flying solo on this one. If we're gonna force Lord Hawthorne's hand, he might respond better to a feminine touch. An iron fist with a Brioni glove.

With the added benefit of allowing you time to resolve your cryptic issue with your capable gamekeeper.

Certainly. Bye.

[Jack pulls up in high performance vehicle] Right, Jack, if you're driving, remember it's a car, not a rocket.

Jack Glass

You're in safe hands, sister dear. [Susie gets i] Buckle up. [takes off]

Gabrielle

[calling Jack, spying on Eddie, Geoff and Takashi breaking into a cottage] They've just pulled up to a cottage now. Three of them got out. The Duke, the keeper, and some Japanese-looking geezer.

Do we know any Japanese-looking gentlemen?

Jack Glass

Dad's chef?

[on phone] Keep your head down and us updated.

Jack Glass

Why are we keeping an eye on the Duke then?

He's sniffing around the Italians. Too much nose to bum. He's been pulling on the lead a bit recently. Not a lot. Just a little tug every now and again. It's just a feminine instinct at this stage, Jackie boy. But I wouldn't underestimate that instinct.

Bobby Glass

If you’d brought this to me sooner, there wouldn’t have been a problem, you see, ’cause I’d have stopped it. Now there’s been a whole catalog of issues, and in every instance, I would have said no. I mean, you start messing around with the gear so much that people are murdering government officials. No. You start letting workers walk away from their operation so they can come back and steal from us. No. You start agreeing to sit down with people who stole from us. No. No. Fucking no. Here’s what you’re gonna do. Nothing. I’ll handle it.

No. No, no, no, no. We cannot do nothing. We have to locate the product and get it off the open market.

I’ll handle it.

No. If the police trace the weed back to us, the effects of that would be catastrophic. Well, what would be catastrophic is if we sat down with these people, ’cause that makes us look weak, and that is not acceptable. As soon as they start shifting the product, we’ll find them. We’ve got soldiers on the street of every city in this country. And the moment they get a sniff, well, they’re gonna let us know. In fact, if you listen very carefully, you might be able to hear ’em now. [gestures] Can you hear that? Can... Can you hear them?

No, Bobby.

Jack Glass

It’s the sound of the jungle drums, Eddie.

Bobby Glass

That’s right, Jackie boy. It’s the sound of the jungle drums. And as soon as the message comes through, we’ll move in and kill the lot of ’em. [clap hands] Job done.

No. We are not waiting that long.

Bobby Glass

Well, what’s the rush?

The rush? Bobby, as you’ve said many times in the past, the key to our success is in longevity, our ability to stay under the radar. If people start fucking murdering each other and going mad on the street, the police, the press, they have a field day.

Bobby Glass

No, you... you don’t get to tell me about longevity.

He’s right, though, Dad. It’s bad for business.

Bobby Glass

Look, you’re caught up in the micro, but you’re failing to take in the macro of it all. That’s where the real longevity kicks in. From where I’m standing, this problem could be to our advantage. I mean, a load of lads losing their marbles over a marijuana-induced psychosis on the eve of the vote for the decriminalization is, um... Well, it might be the final little push we need.

[Joe walks past] See? There he is. Nothing to worry about.

Chucky Kubra

Uh, Suze, I don't know about you, but, uh, I don't fancy dying today.

No one's gonna die, Chucky. Everything's fine. This is just some kind of scam or a massive fuck-off.

Chucky Kubra

Suze, in both those scenarios, we could end up fսcking dead.

It'll be fine.

Chucky Kubra

What are you so calm for, you bastard?

Any idea what's going on here, Suze?

There seems to have been some kind of miscommunication with our mate Hector. Turns out the gear was never ours to sell.

No. Nah, that's crazy. Hector wouldn't do that.

Yoǃ Sit down. And you. I'll tell you what I'll do.

Chucky Kubra

I do a banging karak chai. You fancy a tea? I'll do you a tea. Yeah? Tea?

No chai. And you're not going anywhere, mate. [calls to subordinate] Angel. [to Joe] I've got a couple of questions for you, Joe. And I hope you've got the answers I need so we can move forward.

Yeah, so do I.

You bought all this cоcɑіnе off Hector, right?

Uh-huh.

Where is the rest?

We... We sold it.

You make a lot of money?

Yeah, yeah, we did okay.

Where is the money now?

That's our money, Arturo.

The cоcɑіnе wasn't yours. So the money does not belong to you. You need to tell me where is the fսcking money. Otherwise, it's gonna be a problem. For you. For your compañeros.

[Arturo grabs Susie's hand with a raised screwdriver] Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm the fսck down! What the fսck? Listen, listen, okay? The money, yeah? The money is at my flat. Okay? But I can give you something you want much more than money. Yeah? Hector. The bloke that stole the coke off you in the first place.

Where is he?

I spoke to him this morning! Yeah? He's on the way to my flat right now. I suggest, okay... I suggest that... that me and you, we meet him there, so we can... so we can just straighten all of this out, yeah? [exhales]

Okay. Play nicely.

[in Spanish to Bruno with a raised gun] These pricksǃ They have no idea what they've gotten themselves into. [in English] You stay here. She's going to the flat. Angel. Bruno. You bring Hector back. You know where he lives, right?

Yeah, I know where he lives.

[in Spanish] If Hector isn't there. Then kill her.

[posing as delivery worker holding up clipboard] Sorry, is it all right if I get one of you boys to sign this? Only I'm in a bit of a rush today.

Jack Glass

Oi, mate, where do you want these bad boys? [opens fire on Vargas thugs]

Chucky Kubra

[Susie appears in restaurant dining floor and shoots Arturo dead] What the fսck's going on in here, Susie?

That's the £12 million question, innit?

Jack Glass

Suze, you're gonna have to tell me what's going on.

I will. When I know. Right now, I need you to put those bodies somewhere no one will ever find them. And you can't talk to Dad about any of it.

Jack Glass

Right, look, are you on top of this or not?

I'm on top of it.