Geoffrey Seacombe quotes from The Gentlemen

I see you’ve been introduced to Ms. Glass. Which also makes me think you also know what’s been going on.

What’s the extent of your involvement?

I make it my business not to be my business. 15,000 acres is enough to keep me busy.

Especially when you take in every wounded animal you come across. It’s like a bloody zoo in here.

Yeah, Charlie got hit by a car. Sarah-Jane flew into a window. My little mate here, she’s got a broken leg.

Hmm. Is that a fox, Geoff?

Yeah.

Aren’t you employed to cull foxes?

Is there something specific you wanted to ask me, Your Grace?

Yes. My father was happy with the status quo. I’m not sure I’m entirely comfortable with it.

Well, that could be difficult. These are serious people, by all accounts.

So you think I should just keep the money and keep schtum?

Worked for your father, more or less. Now they got their roots in.

The trouble is, I’ve run into a spot of bother. And for various reasons, I need their help.

Help, they’ll give ya. But it’ll come at a price.

Hmm. What do you know about them?

They’re dangerous bastards. At the end of the day, they’re businessmen. As long as you’re gonna make ’em money, they’ll have a conversation with ya. You need to be careful. Although they appear to be house-trained, don’t be deceived by the facade.

Mr. Lawrence, could you remove that, please?

Of course, sir. It was left there by your brother.

Oh yes, I’m aware.

Eggs Benedict?

Yes, please. And some tea. Thank you.

Sabrina Horniman

Darling, you ought to talk to Freddy. His recent obsession with marijuana production is really too much.

Right.

Sabrina Horniman

He’s started talking to the plants.

And when he’s not talking to them, he’s talking about them, and it’s very fucking boring.

All right. [cell phone buzzes] All right. I promise I’ll have a word with him. [answers phone] Hello?

You slinked off a bit early last night, didn't you.

I had to go and see an old friend. How did it go with Chucky?

The situation turns out to be a little more complicated than anticipated.

Chucky Kubra

[on live video call] This is a special shout out to all my mandem worldwide, yeah? Brum-town boys. When you see this skinny, handsome bastard, yeah, fucking grab him by the neck and crush him like a cockroachǃ

Chucky had a busy night in the world of social media.

Chucky Kubra

On sight, smash all his nan’s windows, fuck him up, or shag his dadǃ Whatever you like, manǃ Penetrate, penetrateǃ

The upshot is that my brother needs to take a sojourn for a few days. We need him to focus on his training. No distractions.

[points] On sightǃ

Chucky Kubra

[gestures] Bang bangǃ

Given how eager you are to move things on swiftly, I wondered if you might be willing to let him come and stay.

For fuck’s sake. You were supposed to sort this.

And I’m in the process of doing exactly that. After all, Jack did bang Chucky’s missus. The polite thing to do is to allow sobriety to percolate. Then I’ll remind him of how hierarchy operates.

Fine.

Jack Glass

Sweet.

Sabrina Horniman

Are we expecting guests?

It would appear so, yes.

Here you are, sir. This way.

[setting up punching bag in barn] Susie Glass’s brother?

Jack Glass

The one and only. Yeah. In, uh, the middleweight eliminator.

Well, Mr. Big Time, jump on the bag and show us what you’ve got.

Mm. Right. These birds aren't gonna kill themselves.

[to Eddie bird shooting] You might want to miss one or two. You're making the Italian look bad.

Do we have a problem with that, Geoffrey?

I don't, but I think his ego does.

Oh. Well, we might have to lie on the count, Geoff.

Amir, we must get you a gun.

[in gun armory] Why are there so many? A... And why only two barrels?

Give the birds a sporting chance, sir.

Which one is the best?

The best? Or the most impressive?

Both.

You have your Germans, your Brits, and your American guns. But if you’re looking for prestige and heritage, I’m feeling Italian Beretta for you, sir. They hunt in pairs. They’ve been at it for 500 years. Oldest gunmakers in the world. You see that engraving? That took a little Italian man two years to etch that pretty picture.

It’s magnificent.

No good in a Chicago gunfight, [holds up rifle] but absolutely wonderful in the green fields of England.

[holds up rifle] I feel an erection coming on.

That’s the appropriate response, sir.

[chuckles] Look at that. Fits like a glove. James Bond’s weapon of choice.

[meets Eddie at residence] Sorry to trouble you, Your Grace. We spoke to the lawyer as per your instructions.

You got the address of the accountant?

Over an hour ago. But it seems our, uh, Japanese friend is pretty keen in there.

Be more specific, Geoffrey.

We got what we came for, but he's still torturing the poor soul.

[opens door to Takashi throttling lawyer and holds up card] We have the address of the accountant. I'll take you to him. Let's go.

[speaks Japanese into phone, which audibly translates] One has yet to conclude one's work.

No, we've finished. Let's go.

[speaks Japanese into phone, which audibly translates] One has yet to conclude one's work.

[gestures] Work over. This is NOT the job. Work... over. Good. [Takashi shoots lawyer in the head] Fսck. [walks out] That's a problem, Geoffrey.

It's not my place to say anything, sir.

Sounds like you're going to anyway, so why don't you go ahead?

This journey that you've embarked on to bring the estate back to its former glory, it seems to be coming at quite a cost. For years, we've been living in the zoo and contracting. Now we're living in the jungle and expanding. And, yes, that does come at a cost.

Sorry to bother you, Mr. MacDougall. The Duke would like a word.

He’s here?

Hello, Simon. Sorry to drop in unannounced.

Your Grace.

So, what do we owe this rare pleasure to?

Well, uh, I heard you’ve decided to sell up.

That’s correct.

I was a little disappointed that you hadn’t let me know, given the conversation we had.

Yes, sorry about that. I decided to, uh, test the water on the open market. The offer I gave you is much higher than you’d get on the open market.

I mean, why don’t we just save yourself the trouble?

I’d prefer not to.

And, uh, do you have another buyer in the waiting?

Nope, not yet.

Uh, Simon, is there anything I’ve done to offend you?

I’ve lived next door to your family for 15 years. Every Christmas, we’ve invited you round for drinks. Not once has anyone dignified us with a response to say that you could not make it.

Well, I am a very busy man, Simon, and my mother a poor correspondent. For that, I can only apologize for our collective failures. In the light of that, why don’t I raise the offer to 19 million right here, right now, and we call it a day?

You see, you... you know what the trouble is with… with people like.... like you? You... you think you’re better than us, with your… with your seat and your title and your… your dodgy mates. Don’t think I don’t know what goes on up at that estate. I’ve... I’ve heard the rumors. You think you can just buy whatever you want, but the truth is that you can’t. So, why don’t you take your 19 million and shove it up your arse?ǃ

I don’t blame you, Simon, for the cloud of misapprehension that you’re currently under. My offer to you is 19 million. Tomorrow, it will be 18. The next day, 17. And it will continue to decrease until it reaches zero. It’s a very generous offer. I suggest you accept it.

If you think you can intimidate me, like some kind of gangster, you can’t.

But what if you were right, Simon? What if, as well as a duke and a peer of the realm, I was, indeed, a gangster? Do you really think that you can stop me getting what I want?