Bobby Glass quotes from The Gentlemen

You reckon the Belgian came up with it on his own?

Bobby Glass

Well, it wasn’t Keith’s idea, was it? He ain’t got the bandwidth.

What if Keith was just a symptom, not the cause?

Bobby Glass

What do you mean? What symptom? No one’s fucking ill, are they?

No. Look, it’s a pattern, innit? Van load of weed vanishing. Blockades on the continent. Rats in the kitchen. It’s all adding up to something.

Bobby Glass

All right, all right. We’ve had a few problems, and you sorted it out. Salute. But we got the product going out, we got money coming in, all right? All we need to do is steady the ship, and then we can see what happens.

There’s dark clouds coming. I can feel it. I think we need to down periscope and start firing some torpedoes.

Bobby Glass

No, you’re not fucking listening to meǃ I’m the captain, and I say full steam ahead.

You all right, Dad?

Bobby Glass

How is he?

Yeah, he's good. Prognosis is looking really good. You know how fit he is.

Bobby Glass

Right. Then why are you going around killing people? You think I don't know everything that's going on around here? You see, uh you've gotta fucking stop.

Why?

Bobby Glass

Because if I know, fucking Collins knows, and I need to get Collins without him fucking knowing. What did you think you was doing?ǃ Broad daylight! Bent ref, claret on the lawn outside his house, fixing a fucking BMX! Now you've finished your amuse-bouche, you move on to the starter. 240 pounds of prime, sweaty Uzbek. Drive-by, on the jog, in the park. Out the fucking window! You're on the main course, Henry Collins himself. But you can't find him, so you threaten the bookie. You don't nick one bollock, you nick twoǃ But you don't get your manǃ I'm just the money guyǃ I don't know where he is! You're not thinking with your business brainǃ You're thinking with your emotional feelings. And now Collins knows you're comingǃ

Good. I want him to know I'm coming.

Bobby Glass

He's up to something. Otherwise, why is he walking about like Billy Big Bollocks?!

A rush of blood?ǃ I don't know! Who gives a fuck? He needs to be stopped, Dad!

Bobby Glass

[calm voice] Well, that's fine. That's fine. [points] But not by you. You fucking stand down. I've got people to do this. Do you hear me? [in endearing voice] You're my angel of life, not my angel of death. This ain't for you. Now, look, look. I don't wanna lose you too.

[scoffs] Fucking hell, Dad. He's not dead.

Bobby Glass

I know.

What are you gonna do?

Bobby Glass

You leave it to your old man. You go home, have something to eat, and put your feet up. Relax.

Yeah, I will.

Bobby Glass

[to Eddie and Susie] You know why I love pigeons so much? They symbolize the harmony of man with nature. Even before Noah touched dry land, we were working together, man and bird. Have you ever heard of, uh, Cher Ami? Well, the last year of the Great War, 500 French soldiers were trapped behind enemy lines. They were getting shelled by their own firm. So this major, he sends the pigeon off for help. Now, this pigeon, he gets shot in the breast, loses an eye, his poor little leg is hanging from a strand. But he flies all the way back to base, delivers the message, and the troops are saved. Because of that pigeon. Now, the French, they awarded the pigeon the Medal of Valor. You see, pigeons, they have values. Loyalty. Bravery. Integrity. I need you two to bury the hatchet, for want of a word. The moral of the story is, you need to take the blows, accept the blame, all for the sake of the bigger picture. I need you two to be my Chers Amis, ’cause I can’t be dealing with any more shenanigans like this morning. [Eddie going outside with guns drawn to see The Gospel and his men disappeared] No one wants that Scouse headbanger kicking in the front door followed by his army of God-drunk luna-cunts. I made it clear to Mr. Dixon that if he went back home, I’d make it up to him. So now, Eddie, you’ve gotta make it up to me. Sit the fuck down. It’s like dealing with a couple of kids. I’ve been reviewing my situation. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m done, I’m out, I’m finished. Jack’s gonna be all right, but I see this as a sign. Uh, an epiphany, so to speak. So I’m just gonna sell the business. Simple as that.

What does that mean about our deal? I want out. I don’t want to segue from growing weed into mass-producing methamphetamines.

Bobby Glass

Yeah, I understand that, and, you know, and I will stand by what I said. You know?

You do realize you’re doing exactly what Mr. Johnston wants you to?

Bobby Glass

Mr. Johnston hasn’t got a fucking clue about the nuances of the situation. So, no, I ain’t giving no one fuck all. Especially the Septic. Now, I’m gonna be selling to the highest bidder, and I’ll accept offers in excess of 150 mill. All bids have gotta be in by the end of the week. All I want you to do is work with Susie and make sure she gets the best deal.

And why me exactly?

Bobby Glass

It ain’t gone unnoticed that you two have become a right double act working together.

Bobby Glass

[in a sauna] You ever heard of the myth of the Bannik?

Yeah. The shapeshifting spirit that supposedly frequented the steam rooms of Northern Europe.

Bobby Glass

The story goes that your Bannik, well, he's a... he's a mischievous kind of spirit. Sometimes he appears as a naked little man stroking his beard, smoking a pipe. But you be careful that you don't invite in other kinds of spirits. If you're asking his advice, you gotta make sure you pay him his due. Otherwise, uh, he can get up to all sorts of mischief. [Bannik appears invisible to Eddie] Fortunately, there are other rituals that you can use that appease the Bannik. Now, these rituals range from smothering a black-feathered chicken and burying his unplucked corpse under your steam house, or you can just offer him a fir branch when you've finished your steam and say thank you. But you gotta be sure you pay him. Now, your Bannik, he does have his uses.

And what would those be, Father?

Bobby Glass

Well, he can see into the future. I'll show you how to do it.

Oh.

Bobby Glass

[gets up] Now, you stand with your back to the furnace, which you leave half open. Now, you ask the Bannik a question, any question you want, but the Bannik, he won't answer you directly, you see. He can't talk. He can only touch. Now, if it's a good omen, you'll feel his little hand pat you on the back. But if it's a bad one, well, he'll scratch you with his sharp little claws.

And what question did you ask him, then?

Bobby Glass

I asked him about the emergence of the Mafia boss, Marco Moretti, and this business about the picture.

Right. And what exactly did this Bannik say, then, Bobby?

Bobby Glass

Do I buy the Botticelli for Marco Moretti? [Bannik's hands appear on Bobby's shoulders] The Bannik gave my back a lovely little fսcking rub.

Hm.

Bobby Glass

[points] You ought to buy him that picture.

Well, my concern is, despite our early success that we've enjoyed in Italy, Cico, he remains sloppy and unreliable.

Bobby Glass

But, if he smooths out the business with Moretti, then he's getting the job done. Buy him the fսcking picture! The Bannik has spoken, okay?ǃ

Loud and clear.

Bobby Glass

[in sauna] So, what do people do at Lord Hawthorne's parties?

It's all very modern, Dad. Not your thing.

Bobby Glass

Right. What did he want? Your cock?

Jack Glass

Yeah.

Bobby Glass

[exhales] Did you give him some?

Jack Glass

If I thought I could get away with just a bit of cock, I would have obliged. But it's my arsehole I was worried about.

Bobby Glass

Nice to see you still got your principles.

He's saying the terms of the deals weren't met.

Bobby Glass

Well, they met. He went out.

No, he's saying he didn't commit. Did you commit to going out?

Jack Glass

I committed to going out, but not going in.

Bobby Glass

I rest my case. The upshot is Lord Hawthorne's asked to increase the financials as recompense. And given the time constraints... we think we should give him what he wants. What time constraints?

Bobby, the vote to decide who becomes the new hereditary peer is at the end of the week. With Hawthorne's help, we get me into the House of Lords, where I control which way the bill to decriminalize mɑrіjսɑnɑ goes.

Bobby Glass

How much?

150.

Bobby Glass

That's a 5x increase. Now, we... we've got to remember our principles here. Jack did what Jack was supposed to do. Jack stuck to his obligations.

Look, 150 is nothing in context. We could have paid him 2 million. Let's not let principles get in the way.

Bobby Glass

[gets up]Sorry? You... You wanna say that again?

I think you heard what I said, Bobby.

Bobby Glass

Yeah, I did. And the statement disturbs me. You see, we don't fսck around with our principles. These people, they don't know who they're dealing with. So we pay them the agreed sum. [slams bench] Now, you put a fսcking gun down on the table in front of them and watch their arsehole fall out. You need a hand with that, you give me a shout. [Bannik places handgun on table] I ain't paying that posh cսոt another fսcking shekel.

Bobby Glass

So what’s these whispers I’m hearing?

What whispers?

Bobby Glass

Rumors from the firmament. Things that I’m not being told. Things that I’m hearing secondhand.

You’ll have to be more specific, Dad. Joe Green. [Susie scoffs] He’s a fucking wrong’un.

I bumped into him when we were buying the Botticelli. I’ve not seen him in years.

Bobby Glass

That’s because he’s in the chop game. And that’s something we don’t wanna be fucking involved in.

Fucking hell. Spare me the speech. I’ve heard it more than I care to remember.

Bobby Glass

All right, all right. Look, I know you and Joe go back a long way. All right? And I don’t mind you saying hello to him. You know, “Hello, Joe. You want a cup of tea and a sticky bun?” But if he starts offering you a kilo of packet, that’s fucking something different. There needs to be a strict delineation.

I hear you loud and clear, Dad.

Bobby Glass

If you’d brought this to me sooner, there wouldn’t have been a problem, you see, ’cause I’d have stopped it. Now there’s been a whole catalog of issues, and in every instance, I would have said no. I mean, you start messing around with the gear so much that people are murdering government officials. No. You start letting workers walk away from their operation so they can come back and steal from us. No. You start agreeing to sit down with people who stole from us. No. No. Fucking no. Here’s what you’re gonna do. Nothing. I’ll handle it.

No. No, no, no, no. We cannot do nothing. We have to locate the product and get it off the open market.

I’ll handle it.

No. If the police trace the weed back to us, the effects of that would be catastrophic. Well, what would be catastrophic is if we sat down with these people, ’cause that makes us look weak, and that is not acceptable. As soon as they start shifting the product, we’ll find them. We’ve got soldiers on the street of every city in this country. And the moment they get a sniff, well, they’re gonna let us know. In fact, if you listen very carefully, you might be able to hear ’em now. [gestures] Can you hear that? Can... Can you hear them?

No, Bobby.

Jack Glass

It’s the sound of the jungle drums, Eddie.

Bobby Glass

That’s right, Jackie boy. It’s the sound of the jungle drums. And as soon as the message comes through, we’ll move in and kill the lot of ’em. [clap hands] Job done.

No. We are not waiting that long.

Bobby Glass

Well, what’s the rush?

The rush? Bobby, as you’ve said many times in the past, the key to our success is in longevity, our ability to stay under the radar. If people start fucking murdering each other and going mad on the street, the police, the press, they have a field day.

Bobby Glass

No, you... you don’t get to tell me about longevity.

He’s right, though, Dad. It’s bad for business.

Bobby Glass

Look, you’re caught up in the micro, but you’re failing to take in the macro of it all. That’s where the real longevity kicks in. From where I’m standing, this problem could be to our advantage. I mean, a load of lads losing their marbles over a marijuana-induced psychosis on the eve of the vote for the decriminalization is, um... Well, it might be the final little push we need.

The House of Lords is one of the oldest institutions in the world. Some say it's an affront to modern democracy. Others that this group of steady-handed experts, unaffected by the vagaries of public opinion, are the only thing stopping the country from tipping over into the abyss.

Bobby Glass

I don't need a fսcking history lesson, Dickie. Cut to the chase.

Right, yes. The point of the matter is the bill to decriminalize mɑrіjսɑnɑ will be decided on Friday. If the Contents get it, the bill is passed, and you'll be able to buy an eighth of premium-grade wacky-tobaccy from any number of a thousand certified high-street outlets by the end of the year. If the Not-contents get it, the bill will be thrown back to the House of Commons, where it will slowly wither up and die, like a gamey old courtesan with the clap.

Once you take party loyalty into account, the House is split down the middle, which means whoever controls the non-affiliated hereditary peers effectively controls what happens to the bill.

And thanks to the delicate and nuanced work of the boys over the last couple of weeks, I'd say we're quietly confident.

Bobby Glass

Well, that's it, then, isn't it? Job done. This time next week, it'll be as dead as disco.