Edward Horniman quotes from The Gentlemen

It’s a job like any other. Sometimes you have your good days... and you have your not-so-good days.

Yeah, sometimes you win, sometimes you watch someone get hacked to death with a machete.

The important thing is that you showed the right attitude.

What does that prove?

It proves you’ve got the stomach for it. Which is more than can be said for your brother.

Sabrina Horniman

Not the stables, darlingǃ They’re of significant historical importanceǃ

Mother, Anne Boleyn didn’t change her horses there on her way to visit Henry VIII. By the time they were built, she’d been a headless corpse for the last 300 years.

Sabrina Horniman

Well, they may have been updated.

It doesn’t matter. I’m not gonna let them expand their operation on the grounds.

Sabrina Horniman

Would you like me to have a word with Susie Glass? You know I can be quite persuasive when I need to be.

No, Mother. I don’t want you getting involved with these people. I’ve seen the effect it’s had on Freddy.

Sabrina Horniman

Yes, and the sooner you get rid of them, the better.

I just need to figure out a way of making them more money with a little less fuss.

Sabrina Horniman

[walks up to Eddie and does up his collar] Now, come on. Nothing like a good funeral to put things in perspective.

[at Smythe's funeral] What’s with the window?

Sabrina Horniman

Oh, it was in his will. Apparently, he wanted to be buried standing up, sticking out of the ground, so he could have a view of the house.

Well, that’s unpleasant.

Sabrina Horniman

Oh, that’s the son there, Max.

Hmm.

Sabrina Horniman

He was one of Freddy’s acting chums from Durham. If you think you’ve seen him before, he did an advert for shampoo that was everywhere. The house, the debts, the financial burden. You two have a lot in common in that respect.

Traditionally, the selection process for a prospective new landlord takes place over a couple of months. We like to give their bums a good old sniff. We don’t just rock up at funerals waving our check books around.

Look, it was a business opportunity that was presented to me. And now I’m presenting it to you. This gives you an alternate venue, an increased capacity, and replaces the existing operation on my estate by the end of the year.

I’m willing to consider expanding the operation to a 12th location, but when you start talking about a bit of blackmail, then it’s all starting to sound deeply problematic.

It’s a loose end that I intend to tie up. Very simply, very easily.

I’m willing to take a face-to-face meeting, but I’m not making any promises, and I don’t want any shenanigans.

No shenanigans.

[at Chinese restaurant] I like to think of myself as a fairly patient man, Frank. But when you start ordering chicken bao buns–

Let me translate. Twelve is vegetable spring rolls. Twenty is confit of pork. Fifty-three is crispy noodle chips, which I’ve ordered twice ’cause I’m quite partial to. And 69 you’ll find isn’t on the menu. For the simple reason that 69 isn’t a dish.

What is it, then?

It’s not a “what.” It’s a “who.” And here he is. [Sandy enters dining area and gets Frank into an headlock]

All right, all rightǃ

It’s all there, every pennyǃ [Sandy throws Frank to floor] Whoa!

Frank, why don’t you explain to the nice man this isn’t his money?

The money in that bag is owed to me. And what’s owed to me belongs to you. Sorry.

[Sandy grabs bag and Eddie grabs Sandy's wrist] Fucker... [calls phone] Hello, Susie. Just checking in to see how you’re doing. Well, it’s not going exactly to plan. [scenes of Eddie fighting Sandy]

So you gave him half a mil, now you’ve got nothing to show for it? Sounds a bit sloppy, if you don’t mind me saying. What’s the name of the guy that lent him the money?

I don’t know. He’s a large Chinese gentleman. She wants to talk to you. [hands Sandy phone]

Can I help you? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. All right. When you put it like that, it does have a bearing on the situation. With the greatest respect, Susie, that money’s a longstanding debt that needs to be repaid.

For fuck’s sake.

That’s very decent of you.If you can guarantee my money, I’ll give your man the address. Tell your father I’ll send him some buns. [hands Eddie back phone] You should’ve mentioned Susie Glass. She said she’ll meet you there.

Hello, Susan. [hands over takeout bag] Compliments of the chef.

Enjoying your little sojourn into the murky world of criminality?

Uh... It’s certainly edifying. Shall we?

Let’s. [knocks on Frank's door and Frank's young daughter Alice appears]

You’re not the taxi.

No, we were... We’re looking for your dad. Is he around?

He’s busy packing.

That’s all right, darling. This won’t take long.

[enters Frank's study room] Hello, Francis. You going somewhere?

Um... How did you find me?

Oh, that would be down to your helpful Chinese friend. Now, weren’t you supposed to give us something before you go?

If you can find it amongst all these bags. [to Alice] Your dad’s a bit of a messy pup, isn’t he?

[chuckles] Yeah, Daddy’s a bit of a mess, isn’t he? That’s what Mummy’s always saying. [chuckles] But you’d be surprised what nutrition can be found in other people’s stools. See that one there? That’s a former cabinet minister. Collects illegally smuggled birds’ eggs. This one is a certain children’s TV presenter. Got himself a taste for, uh... [to Alice] You like the breakfast show, don’t you, darling?

Daddy used to be one of the top journalists in the country. Then the oligarchs took over.

Yes, no freedom of the press anymore. You have to answer to the powers that be. And if you don’t follow their narrative, they bury you. But not me.

My daddy’s got integrity.

Oh yeah.

Hmm.

Big plastic bags full of it.

Sabrina Horniman

My goodness, Edward. You simply reek of formaldehyde. Where on earth have you been? And why are you drinking whiskey first thing in the morning?

The less said about that, the better. But, suffice to say, it’s been, uh… [clears throat] ...a rather long night.

Sabrina Horniman

Oh. Well, whilst you’ve been gadding about doing God knows what, I have been finding solutions to our current predicament. Right. I’ve found a new home for your marijuana plantation.

What?

Sabrina Horniman

It’s Mr. Rokes, darling. From next door. He’s sitting on 2,000 acres that he can’t afford to keep, and he is longing to talk to someone about a long-term lease.

[chuckles] Well, well. You would not believe the things I’ve done in the last 48 hours, Mother. And you come along and... fix it all with a glass of sherry.

[at a pub] I’ve got a lot of time for your mum. Takes good care of herself. Good sense of humor. A little bit eccentric, but who isn’t?

Just a little. So are you gonna talk to my neighbor, then?

I’ll take the meeting. See if it’s appropriate. At least someone did their due diligence.

Despite the, uh, few minor niggles we might’ve come across in the last couple of days, you actually came out on top.

I don’t appreciate being shot at, Edward. In fact, and this may come as a shock to you, given my chosen career path, I actually make a point of avoiding being shot at, at all times. Having said that, I will admit you proved yourself useful in the end.

Jack Glass

[sits at table] Oi, oi, love birds. Don’t mind me.

Hello, mate.

Jack Glass

Fire in the hole. I’ve gotta get this straight, ’cause Blanket was making no sense. According to him, you had a spin on master chef over there and blew up a load of Nazis. With a fucking grenade.

Nazi. Singular.

Jack Glass

Now we have a rare art collection and two farms to set up. I take it all back. Suze, he’s a proper G.

You’re a fucking idiot, Jack.

Jack Glass

[raises glass] To Eddie, the grand duke of getting shit done.

Hmm, no, no, no. I’m not cheersing to that.

All right. Why don’t we cheers to looking in the envelope?

To looking in the envelope.

Jack Glass

Whatever the fuck that means.

[enters John's trailer] You heard?

I heard. And what do you think, Eddie? Hmm? You’re putting me in a very awkward position. How do you reckon that?

Imagine if you were me, eh? How did we meet? We met because you were stealing from me.

You need to take a closer look at everybody in your own fucking camp.

I’m not looking at them. I’m looking at you. Did you steal the money, John?

Be very fucking careful, Eddie.

Did you steal... that money? [JP chuckles, pats Eddie's shoulder and walks out]

[investigation theft of £4 million from cannabis grow-op] All sorted, Suze.

CCTV all cushty. Where are the travellers now?

Looks like they’ve done a bunk.

Well, get a crew together. I want ’em found. Do you understand? All hands on deck.

Want me to head back to de Groot? Undo the damage, so to speak.

[descends stairs] Morning. [walks past her] Uh, quick word, Susan.

[to Keith] Hold that thought.

Who benefits if we blame the travellers and lose our means of distribution in Europe?

That shit-eating cunt from Belgium.

Exactly. I may have jumped the gun on JP. He’s a thief, but not our thief. They would’ve left immediately had they stolen the money.

You think de Groot is orchestrating all this from Europe?

He couldn’t do it on his own, could he?

Agreed. He’d have to have someone on the inside.

Someone close. Someone probably at the farm.

I think we need to take a little trip to Zeebrugge.

Hmm.

[Eddie and Susie appear in front of him at an eating establishment table] Oh, Susie, Eddie. It’s so good to see you. [speaks French to server who leaves]

Not for us. Keeping a cold stomach.

Oh, there is always time for lunch. You are in Europe, my friends. And in Europe, we like to live a little. In England, you’re always so busy, huh? Tick-tock, tick-tock. Like the Big Ben. [chuckles]

[places down dish] Voilà, monsieur.

Ah... Tartare de cheval. This is hor–

Yeah, I know what it is.

I always found the horse more delicate than the bull or the cow. [eats a forkful] I assume your presence here signify a willingness to reopen negotiations?

In a manner of speaking.

So you agree to my terms?

Actually, we’re here to offer you something... far more valuable.

Oh, what is that?

The antidote.

An antidote for what?

For the poison that’s currently sitting in your system that should be about to work around... now.

That’s the thing about running an international crime syndicate. We can get to anyone. [scene of server administering a drop into Florian's dish]

Your heart is beginning to beat at three times its normal rate on account of trying to keep your blood pressure up. In about five minutes, your body will go into shock. You’ll lose control of your bodily functions, and you’ll suffer from a massive cardiac arrest on account of the trauma done to your internal organs. Then... Well, then you’ll suffocate. Lying on this restaurant floor, gasping for air like a dying fucking fish. Unless you take that antidote. [Florian attempts to grab antidote vial and Eddie snatches it away] We need a name.

[chokes] I don’t know what you mean.

The clock is ticking, de Groot. Tick-tock, tick-tock. Like Big Ben, eh?

You Europeans. So very slow. The name. [Florian writes out in notebook while heavily choking, hands it to Susie who shows it to Eddie] Disappointing.

Very.

Here. [hands over vial to Florian who drinks it] You should be fine within the hour.

Should you develop a sudden urge to inform said person of recent developments, remember how easy it was to get to you in the first place.

Have a good lunch, Mr. de Groot. [He and Susie walk away]

[brings out whiskey bottle and pours a glass] So... how do you wanna handle him?

There’s only one outcome. He’s a big boy. He knew the risks.

Yeah. [hands her a glass] Well, it’s not gonna be pleasant.

It never is. I actually liked him. Thought he could be trusted. You never know, do you? You never fucking know.

Any preferences on how you wanna get it done?

Offering your services?

Not directly. It’s not my world, Susie. But maybe there’s someone who could help. He might need a little convincing though.

[wandering through traveller camp] Gentlemen. A little heavily armed for this time of the morning.

When you accuse someone of robbing four million from a drug baron, a man tends to get a bit paranoid.

Fair point.

What the fuck do you want, Eddie?

I’m here to make things right. I want to offer you a gift by means of reparation.

Oh, a gift? Man wants to offer us a giftǃ

Tell you what. How about I offer you a gift, Eddie? [punches Eddie in face]

I guess I deserved that. All right.

You said you’ve something for me.

Someone tried to set you up.

Give me a name, Eddie.

I can do better than that.

[exits vehicle in forest] What’s this, Eddie? Teddy bears’ fucking picnic?

You know what this is, Keith.

Oh, come on.

You know what happens next. Sorry, Keith.

Move.

Are you a bit deaf... as well as a snake? Fucking move.

Fuck you. [spits] Fuck you and all. [walks to a site] Glad it’s not Blanket. I appreciate that. You’re a good man, Eddie.

Eyes on me, Keith.

Why am I looking at you? You’re a dead man walking. You think you’re all so hard. Bobby Glass is gonna shit the lot of ya. I know how many bodies there are ’cause I fucking buried ’em, Eddie. I’ve seen behind the curtain, and none of you are ready for it. You’re all fucked. Every one of ya. It’s just a matter of fucking time, really. [points] Same thing’ll happen to you in the end, Eddie. You work for Bobby Glass now. There’s no way out. They’ll get you eventually. Just like me. Just like Jethro.

What did you say?

What, didn’t she tell ya? Nah, of course she fucking didn’t. Jethro’s at the bottom of the Thames.

You think you got a choice? You’re fucking kidding yourself. You can’t trust her. You can’t trust any of ’emǃ [JD shoots Keith in the head]

[calling] Is it done?

It’s done.

Geoff Seacombe

Like to join me in a glass of, uh, sloe gin, Your Grace?

Thanks, Geoff.

Geoff Seacombe

[referring to hedgehog on chair] You can put Milligan on the floor there. It’s way past his bedtime anyway.

Right. [relocates Milligan]

Geoff Seacombe

Yeah, anywhere will do. [referring to facial injuries] Everything all right, Your Grace? :Edward "Eddie" Horniman: Yeah. You were right, however, about Susie and the Glass family. Some information has come to light that suggests Susie and the Glass family are... If I try and extract us from the situation, they’re willing to kill me.

Geoff Seacombe

I thought you two were getting along okay.

Well, we were. But not anymore.

Geoff Seacombe

You might wanna sniff that. What do you smell?

Almonds.

Geoff Seacombe

You gotta take your time when you’re making sloe gin. It’ll turn that rich magenta color after a couple of weeks. Most people leave it at that. But to get that full flavor... you gotta leave it a couple of years. Underappreciated quality these days, patience. Let it play out. You continue to deliver on your end of the bargain and see how they respond. Don’t let ’em know what you’re thinking. And meanwhile, prepare for all eventualities.