“I've Hundreds of Cousins” quotes from The Gentlemen

What’s the story between you two? Looking very cozy on that couch the other night. If you know what I mean.

It’s just a work thing. We’re associates, really.

You see, I can tell by that glint in your eye that you’re the outlaw, Susie. I’d say you have a bit of rebel blood flowing through those veins. And a working-class girl like you and a duke, his type were locking up the likes of me and you since William the Conqueror.

You’re not wrong. But we’re not here to talk about me, JP. We’re here to find out how you plan on pulling all this off.

Well, this is the crack. Myself and me family are back and forth to Europe all the time. Sometimes via Ireland, sometimes not. One month, it could be a horse fair in Spain. Next month, it could be a trip to a campsite in Belgium. But this month, it’s gonna be a pilgrimage to Lourdes. [enters stables]

[to Susie] Boss, if you would have told me in school that I’d be earning bare money shoving packs of weed up a Virgin Mary, I’d have said you’d gone mad, bruv.

[enters John's trailer] You heard?

I heard. And what do you think, Eddie? Hmm? You’re putting me in a very awkward position. How do you reckon that?

Imagine if you were me, eh? How did we meet? We met because you were stealing from me.

You need to take a closer look at everybody in your own fucking camp.

I’m not looking at them. I’m looking at you. Did you steal the money, John?

Be very fucking careful, Eddie.

Did you steal... that money? [JP chuckles, pats Eddie's shoulder and walks out]

[investigation theft of £4 million from cannabis grow-op] All sorted, Suze.

CCTV all cushty. Where are the travellers now?

Looks like they’ve done a bunk.

Well, get a crew together. I want ’em found. Do you understand? All hands on deck.

Want me to head back to de Groot? Undo the damage, so to speak.

[descends stairs] Morning. [walks past her] Uh, quick word, Susan.

[to Keith] Hold that thought.

Who benefits if we blame the travellers and lose our means of distribution in Europe?

That shit-eating cunt from Belgium.

Exactly. I may have jumped the gun on JP. He’s a thief, but not our thief. They would’ve left immediately had they stolen the money.

You think de Groot is orchestrating all this from Europe?

He couldn’t do it on his own, could he?

Agreed. He’d have to have someone on the inside.

Someone close. Someone probably at the farm.

I think we need to take a little trip to Zeebrugge.

Hmm.

[Eddie and Susie appear in front of him at an eating establishment table] Oh, Susie, Eddie. It’s so good to see you. [speaks French to server who leaves]

Not for us. Keeping a cold stomach.

Oh, there is always time for lunch. You are in Europe, my friends. And in Europe, we like to live a little. In England, you’re always so busy, huh? Tick-tock, tick-tock. Like the Big Ben. [chuckles]

[places down dish] Voilà, monsieur.

Ah... Tartare de cheval. This is hor–

Yeah, I know what it is.

I always found the horse more delicate than the bull or the cow. [eats a forkful] I assume your presence here signify a willingness to reopen negotiations?

In a manner of speaking.

So you agree to my terms?

Actually, we’re here to offer you something... far more valuable.

Oh, what is that?

The antidote.

An antidote for what?

For the poison that’s currently sitting in your system that should be about to work around... now.

That’s the thing about running an international crime syndicate. We can get to anyone. [scene of server administering a drop into Florian's dish]

Your heart is beginning to beat at three times its normal rate on account of trying to keep your blood pressure up. In about five minutes, your body will go into shock. You’ll lose control of your bodily functions, and you’ll suffer from a massive cardiac arrest on account of the trauma done to your internal organs. Then... Well, then you’ll suffocate. Lying on this restaurant floor, gasping for air like a dying fucking fish. Unless you take that antidote. [Florian attempts to grab antidote vial and Eddie snatches it away] We need a name.

[chokes] I don’t know what you mean.

The clock is ticking, de Groot. Tick-tock, tick-tock. Like Big Ben, eh?

You Europeans. So very slow. The name. [Florian writes out in notebook while heavily choking, hands it to Susie who shows it to Eddie] Disappointing.

Very.

Here. [hands over vial to Florian who drinks it] You should be fine within the hour.

Should you develop a sudden urge to inform said person of recent developments, remember how easy it was to get to you in the first place.

Have a good lunch, Mr. de Groot. [He and Susie walk away]

[brings out whiskey bottle and pours a glass] So... how do you wanna handle him?

There’s only one outcome. He’s a big boy. He knew the risks.

Yeah. [hands her a glass] Well, it’s not gonna be pleasant.

It never is. I actually liked him. Thought he could be trusted. You never know, do you? You never fucking know.

Any preferences on how you wanna get it done?

Offering your services?

Not directly. It’s not my world, Susie. But maybe there’s someone who could help. He might need a little convincing though.

[wandering through traveller camp] Gentlemen. A little heavily armed for this time of the morning.

When you accuse someone of robbing four million from a drug baron, a man tends to get a bit paranoid.

Fair point.

What the fuck do you want, Eddie?

I’m here to make things right. I want to offer you a gift by means of reparation.

Oh, a gift? Man wants to offer us a giftǃ

Tell you what. How about I offer you a gift, Eddie? [punches Eddie in face]

I guess I deserved that. All right.

You said you’ve something for me.

Someone tried to set you up.

Give me a name, Eddie.

I can do better than that.

You reckon the Belgian came up with it on his own?

Bobby Glass

Well, it wasn’t Keith’s idea, was it? He ain’t got the bandwidth.

What if Keith was just a symptom, not the cause?

Bobby Glass

What do you mean? What symptom? No one’s fucking ill, are they?

No. Look, it’s a pattern, innit? Van load of weed vanishing. Blockades on the continent. Rats in the kitchen. It’s all adding up to something.

Bobby Glass

All right, all right. We’ve had a few problems, and you sorted it out. Salute. But we got the product going out, we got money coming in, all right? All we need to do is steady the ship, and then we can see what happens.

There’s dark clouds coming. I can feel it. I think we need to down periscope and start firing some torpedoes.

Bobby Glass

No, you’re not fucking listening to meǃ I’m the captain, and I say full steam ahead.

[exits vehicle in forest] What’s this, Eddie? Teddy bears’ fucking picnic?

You know what this is, Keith.

Oh, come on.

You know what happens next. Sorry, Keith.

Move.

Are you a bit deaf... as well as a snake? Fucking move.

Fuck you. [spits] Fuck you and all. [walks to a site] Glad it’s not Blanket. I appreciate that. You’re a good man, Eddie.

Eyes on me, Keith.

Why am I looking at you? You’re a dead man walking. You think you’re all so hard. Bobby Glass is gonna shit the lot of ya. I know how many bodies there are ’cause I fucking buried ’em, Eddie. I’ve seen behind the curtain, and none of you are ready for it. You’re all fucked. Every one of ya. It’s just a matter of fucking time, really. [points] Same thing’ll happen to you in the end, Eddie. You work for Bobby Glass now. There’s no way out. They’ll get you eventually. Just like me. Just like Jethro.

What did you say?

What, didn’t she tell ya? Nah, of course she fucking didn’t. Jethro’s at the bottom of the Thames.

You think you got a choice? You’re fucking kidding yourself. You can’t trust her. You can’t trust any of ’emǃ [JD shoots Keith in the head]

[calling] Is it done?

It’s done.