(Will is speaking to Ashley and Hilary in the kitchen)
You know, I used to think the only reason to kill a man was self-defense, but I just spent 45 minutes in the Volvo with another reason.
(Carlton then walks into the kitchen dressed and acting like a mime)
This idiot is taking a mime class.
(Carlton continues his mime act directly towards Will, pulling on a rope)
Carlton, get... I swear to God, Carlton, get away from me with this. Stop. Stop playing. Carlton, stop or I'll hang you with that rope!
(Carlton mimes himself being hanged by a rope)
All right, that's it. That's it.
(Will throws Carlton, out the kitchen into the garden and locks the kitchen door)
I was going to throw him out on the freeway... but you know the old saying: A mime is a terrible thing to waste.
Carlton, say something to the baby.
Never let Will borrow money... even if he begs and he will.
(talking into recorder} That's your brother, Carlton. You'll recognize him. He'll be the one at eye level.
(Hilary and Carlton walk into the kitchen)
(talking into recorder) And here come your two siblings, Dopey and Greedy.
(Will gets sound bites from the family for tape recorder)
(talking into recorder) You'll hear that a lot.
(talking into recorder) Well, that about sums up Uncle Phil.
S3 The Best Laid Plans
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Jean Claude Van Damn [Damme], I'm fine!
S3 The Alma Matter
(Tom Jones shows Carlton what life for his family would be like without him)
What happened? And where's Mom?
T Tom
Well, without you, your family was defenseless against Will. They started to focus on happiness instead of success. You mother ran away with the milk man, your father quit his practice to paint, Ashley does nothing but dance all day and Hilary just does her hair. Well, maybe not everything changed.
My dining club is what made me what I am today.
(Will opens his mouth and closes it)
Can't I get moved to another room? I have a reputation to maintain, what about when I go into political office?
N Nurse
I'll tell you the same thing I told the last guy who asked me that. Just tell them you didn't inhale.
Will (wearing a tuxedo for the prom, sleeping on the living room couch and talking in his sleep ): I just want to thank Bill and Hillary Clinton, for inviting me to the inauguration.
Will, this is the Senior prom. Also known as "Guaranteed Action Night".
Will (to his prom date, while imitates a police siren ): Whooooooo, somebody call a cop 'cause it got to be illegal to look that good.
I had basketball practice and school, and this guy gave me these pills to help me stay awake, and then Carlton... all I know is that somebody very close to me could be dead right now, and it'd be all my fault.
Carlton [about his zit] : Look at my face.
S3 The Baby Comes Out
Wait a minute. Where's Helen?
Oh, well, she couldn't come. She had to go to court with Lester.
Well, I thought the divorce was final months ago.
That's right. And everything was going so well, until she saw Lester with another woman. And that's when she snatched off the wig.
[gasps] She snatched off the woman's wig?
[all three sisters laugh]
[everyone in the living room is annoyed by the sound of Vivian's bell]
WP Will, Philip, Carlton, Hilary, Ashley, Vy, and Janice
[all scream] STOP WITH THE DAMN BELL!!!!!
S3 You Bet Your Life
Come on, Uncle Phil. Shamon!
‹ Previous Page 4 of 5
Next ›
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
