The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air quotes

Will

I know you better float your midget boat on out of here. [pulls Kenny and pushes him into Carlton away from Ashley]

Will, man! Ease up!

Will

No, you ease up, man! What you trying to do?

The same thing you're trying to do. I'm just trying to press up this woman!

Will

YO, THAT AIN'T NO WOMAN THATS MY COUSIN!!!

Ashley

I am too a woman and I'd appreciate it if you'd stay out of my business!

Will

Don't you shake your neck at me like that, girl!

Ashley

Come on, Kenny!

Hey.

Carlton

AND DON'T SHAKE THAT EITHER!

Ashley

Wow!

Will

Dude sounds like a jackass.

Carlton

Actually, Will, he sounds like you.

Ashley

So when are we going out?

Oh, I don't know, baby. You have to let me check my book and I'll get back to you. You see, I wanna make sure I can give you my undivided attention.

Carlton

Actually Will, he's better than you.

I mean look at you. You got it going on. You got sweet hips, lips and finger tips. (a beautiful girl walks by) But baby got back! (to Ashley) Bye, baby. (while running towards the other girl) Whoa! Whoa! Wait a minute!

Carlton

Look, I know my sister needs me, but that girl is babe-a-licious!

Will

Carlton, I think you know what you have to do.

Carlton

I know, but still, I would have liked to have been there for Ashley. (runs after the beautiful girl)

Ashley

Kenny ran after that girl.

Will

Kenny is a different case.

Ashley

Carlton ran after the same girl.

Will

Well, Carlton is a basket case.

Will

Girl. I know your feet must be tired 'cause you been running through my mind all day. Come 'ere!

Will

I need 30 seconds on the air to talk about why the rec center shouldn't be torn down,and I don't care if I got to force my way on the set to get it.

Let me get this straight. You want to storm the set, disrupt a live newscast, and jeopardize the credibility of this station?

Will

Yes.

Will you be needing wardrobe?

And if there's anyone here who feels this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

Will

Stop, man! Don't do it! You don't even know if the baby is yours!

How did you know I'm havin' a baby?!

What?! You havin' a baby?!

Will

[walks up to the couple; calmly] Whoa. Yo. Hey. Look, my fault, y'all. See, my cousin was supposed to... [to the groom] Hey, congratulations, man. [to the bride] So, you havin' his baby. What a wonderful way to say how much I love you, huh?

Carlton

[about Cindy] She left me. I got the feeling she didn't wanna live with me.

Will

What made you think that?

Carlton

She said she didn't wanna live with me.

Will

Aw, man. I mean, she can't just walk out on you like that. What if the kid is yours?

Carlton

He's not.

Will

Carlton, come on. Just because the baby is cute doesn't mean you're not the father.

Carlton

I never slept with her. Look, since we're in a church, I feel the need to confess something. Please don't laugh. This is really hard for me to say. I'm a... A... [muffles the last word he says]

Will

You a German?

Carlton

No. I'm a virgin.

Will

What?

Carlton

I'm a virgin!

[sets off for home] It's nice to know somebody still is!

I asked him [Judge Robinson] to pass the salt and he told me to go long.

Philip

He was just kidding.

Philip, he broke a window!

Will

If I keep the motorcycle, I'm a pimp. If I give it back, I'm a damn fool. Oh, well, pimp it is!

Carlton

I always knew Will was gonna be the downfall of this family, but no one ever listens to me.

What, honey? I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.

Philip

Okay, okay. We can't stay here. We'll freeze to death. Just get all the stuff out of the back seat and we'll... we'll go ahead on foot. Get out of the car.

Will

But you just...

Carlton

For a long time it gave me nightmares, having to witness an injustice like that. It was a constant reminder of how unfair this world can be. I can still hear them taunting him. "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids." ...How come they just couldn't give him some cereal?!

Carlton

(speaking into his tape recorder) Carlton's log. Will has been reduced to a pathetic shell of his former self. I, on the other hand, have the strength of 10 men!

Will

Will's log...(pulls a tree branch off the ground) is about to connect with Carlton's head!!

Will! You were supposed to secure everything to the luggage rack.

Will

I did! Ohhhhhh wait, this ain't the Volvo!

Trevor

How dare you. Do you have any idea who I am?

Jazz

A really bad cook?