Scenes with Will Smith 158
(Will sits at the kitchen table, Hilary enters the kitchen and throws a newspaper on the table)
Will (reading newspaper): "Powerful earthquake rattles northern coast."
(turns paper over and points to page): This.
Will "Television personality Leeza Gibbons was shocked to learn that the woman attempting to vandalize her car was none other than rival talk show host, Hilary Banks."
Will "Banks, seen here, wielding a potato..."
Wielding? I was not wielding, I was rubbing.
I rubbed that damn potato all over Leeza's car and it didn't even make a scratch.
At least they didn't catch me putting my keys in her exhaust pipe.
Will Hilary, you were supposed to- never mind.
C Carlton (comes in the kitchen with his hands on the top of his head)
Did you just put super glue in my hair gel?
Will That's what you get for stealing my girl.
I didn't have to steal her. She was bored with you, so that she has to come to a real man.
Will So, what you're saying is that I'm not a real man?
You got that right. It's like this "Hey, baby, (doing his pelvic thrust) pap, pap, stuff". It worked in high school, but now, it's just embarrassing!
Will Take it easy there, stumpy.
And you know what? I'm also getting tired of the short jokes. I'm average height.
Will For a woman!
I'm large enough for Valerie.
Will Uncle Phil. Hey man, what are you doing here?
I'll tell you what I'm doing here. Years ago, I fell in love with and married a wonderful woman named Vivian. Vivian had a sister named Vy. Vy gave birth to a child named Will, whose sole purpose in life is to make mine a living Hell! Now, you have done a lot to me these last 4 years, but how you managed to have me ripped out of my wonderful life in Bel-Air and relocated to this landfill boggles my mind!
Will Look, Jazz, I just don't feel comfortable telling you anymore, man. Who knows? Your life could be in danger.
What life? I'm a married man.
MK Mob Killer
If I were you, I'd run.
Will If you were me, you'd be good looking.
You can't understand and respect women because you're not in touch with your feminine side.
Will And you know what your problem is? You're not in touch with anybody's feminine side.
S Miss Sharpe
Come closer.
Will Heyyyyyyyy.
S Miss Sharpe
That's a fake mustache.
Will No, it's not!
ST Miss Sharpe [takes off the mustache off]
Yes, it is!
Will No, it's not!
S Miss Sharpe
Look, I don't know who you are, but I'm calling your real parents right now.
Will It's not!
(Will sees Carlton dancing.)
Will Carlton, what's wrong? Are you having a Malox moment?
I'm getting ready for Soul Train. I believe there's dancing involved.
Will Two things. One: That's not dancing. And two: I'd appreciate it if you stayed away from the show.
And why, pray tell, is that?
Will Again, two things, Carlton. One: Because you say stuff like "pray tell". And two: You're gonna embarrass me when I become the new co-host.
Will You see, Soul Train's been looking for a co-host for months, and so far no one's worked out.
And they're gonna give you the job based on your love for Don Cornelius dolls?
Will [annoyed] It's not a doll, it's an action figure! And you've got no business being on the Soul Hyundai, let alone the Soul Train.
(After scuffle in Bowling alley)
Will, I've been meaning to tell you that I'm a--
Will A what!? A Power Ranger!?
No, I've been studying self-defense. Did I do something wrong?
Will Yes, you did. I was just about to retaliate.
Baby, you were on the floor.
Will That's how I fight!
Let's just get back to the game.
Will Fine!
(Will attempts to roll the ball, but it slips and hits another man in the chest.)
(Jazz pulls out a small thin book from his pocket )
JT Jazz [to Will]
I give you... The Hoodlum Pages. Okay, let's see here.
(Jazz flips through the pages )
Counterfeiters... Extortionists... Car Salesmen... Ah, here. Guys who take dives...
(Jazz hands Will the book and he scans the page. )
Will Wait, wait, wait. So you're telling me, that this guy will let someone hit him ten times for $40?
Mention this ad and he'll throw in a head-butt.
Will Oh, okay, so this dude come down to the Peacock, stir up a little fray, I take him down and Lisa and everybody think I'm a hero. Aight, thanks, man. Hey, by the way, where'd you get this?
Will I call it, "Celebrity Houses, At Night!"
NP News Publisher
Hmm, very interesting.
Will Cause see, here's Bob Barker drinking some coffee in the bathroom.
Will And here's Gene Simmons frying his underwear on a barbecue grill.
NP News Publisher
Um, that's lovely.
Will And here's Jay Leno pouring some coffee in the sewer.
NP News Publisher
Oh, my god!
W Will (wearing a fat suit)
Well, it ain't Fat Albert!
You know something? This is all your fault.
Will What is that, like the theme of this family? "When in doubt, blame Will."
Why do you shave and Ashley doesn't?
Will Well, you know, because guys grow beards and some women don't.
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The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air · 318 quotes
Will
