[dramatically] Ah, the pain! [almost passes out]
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Jeez, Bobby. Why are you being so dramatic?
RARonnie Anne Look - Alike
Same thing happened to me earlier. [eats his churro]
What you got there, Ronnie Anne?
You guys have to check out that tamale truck, these are so good!
CCarl
[horrified] What are you doing?! If Abuela sees you eating that, you’re toast!
Once, she caught Tío Carlos eating a churro from the new bakery. She stopped cooking for him for a month.
[whimpers] I had to survive on frozen waffles!
[Carlitos sticks his pacifier in his papa’s mouth]
She gets super jealous when any of us likes someone else’s cooking.
$70 for a marshmallow blaster?!
Small price to pay. Add to cart.
[enters the apartment, excited, along with Bobby, looking upset] OMG, guys, look! Bobby and I got our BAT scores in the mail!
CCarl
Ooh, what's a BAT test? [gasps] You get to sleep upside down and eat crickets?!
No, Carl. BAT stands for "Big Academic Test." It's to get into college, and I crushed it! Fashion design school, here I come!
Oh, I'm so proud of you, mija. Go pursue your dreams! But don't leave me BACK! [sobs]
Is something wrong, Bobby?
I didn't get a good BAT score.
RRosa
[gasps] Who wouldn't want to give mi Bobbito a good score? [takes of her shoe and goes to the door] I'll just give those testing people a piece of my mind!
[runs up to the door, blocking her way] I don't think that'll help, Abuela. [groans] I really wanted to do well so I could go to business school and open up a whole chain of mercados. I don't know what happened. I aced all my practice tests, but as soon as I sat down, my palms got sweaty and I forgot everything! Like, even where I parked, [pulls out the van keys from his pocket] I had to walk home!
Wait, you left the mercado van there?! I'm gonna get a ticket! [grabs the keys and leaves]
Huh, sounds like a classic case of test-taking anxiety. My students get it all the time. Never fear, Bobby. There are many scientific ways to beat it! I'll help you.
Deal!
[gets his hand covered in sweat] Eh, you weren't kidding about your sweaty palms. [chuckles]
Hey!
RRosa
[furiously shaking her shoe in front of Carlos' face] You lost your torta privileges, mister!
[takes out her phone] One guess who it is. [answers the call]
Hey! I told you to stay away from those Chewy Chewies! There better be 97 when I get back!
Huh?
And you have a code purple! Maybelle is eating grapes!
How do you know all of that?
Uh... Mercado instinct! Hey, did you change my music? Bobby's Mercado Mix Number 7 was carefully selected to stimulate more shopping.
[looks at a security camera in the piñata's eye] Mercado instinct, huh? More like you're spying on us with the security camera!
Wait! I'm not spying! What... What are you doing?! [Carl covers the camera with gum, blacking it out, as the phone hangs up] They cut me off! [worriedly freaking out] What am I gonna do?
Bobby?
That's right! [removes the gum off the camera] I don't appreciate being cut off! [shakes the gum off his hand] Yuck! From communication!
Well, we didn't appreciate you spying on us. We've all helped out here and know what to do. Look around! Nothing went wrong.
How can you say that?! The mangos smell like trout! The milk is facing the wrong way! This can is off by a centimeter!
You're being so picky! That stuff doesn't matter!
It matters to me! I don't need a bunch of kids coming in here and changing everything! You'll understand when you're older.
Oh, ho, ho! I think we understand now! You're just like a Mercado run in a very specific way! [takes her apron off and gives it to her brother] So, run it yourself! [walks out]
CCarl
Yeah, we quit!
CCJ
We're done!
CCarl
Later, jefe.
Lori! Babe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for tonight to turn out like this.
LLori
I can't believe you drove me all the way to the city just so you could work on our anniversary!
That wasn't the plan. It was supposed to be a really special night. I left Ronnie Anne, Carl, and CJ in charge of the mercado, but they were messing things up! They changed the music to K-pop, and they out the mangoes by the fish.
LLori
That's it?! So they didn't upset any customers, burned the place down?
No, but--
LLori
Bobby, everyone in your family cares about the mercado. No one would let anything truly bad happen to it.
Right, but--
LLori
Maybe, they have their own way of doing things, and you just need to trust them.
You're right. I'm sorry. I guess I do have a hard time giving up control of the mercado.
LLori
It's okay. You're just really passionate about what you do. And I love that about you. Also, you look cute in your pizza tux.
Thanks, babe.
[In Carl and CJ’s room, Carl has Sergio and Lalo over to talk with them]
CCarl
[clears throat] You might be wondering why I’ve gathered you here today.
[Carl's side of the room is rather messy]
To smell a bunch of dirty laundry?
CCarl
No. I want to bring you in on an exciting investment opportunity. Our very own spooky tour! All we have to do is make up some spooky junk, give the people some scares, and the money will come pouring in! [laughs, then focuses] So, what spooky thing should we feature on the tour?
RRosa
[comes in the room, taps him on the shoulder, startling him; unhappy] Ay, Carl. This room is filthy. You were supposed to make your bed and pick up your dirty clothes. And give Lalo a flea bath.
CCarl
And I'm totally gonna. Later.
RRosa
You better listen, Carl, or El Cucuy will come after you. He always knows when children are misbehaving. He watches you with his glowing red eyes and he can hear you from miles away with his giant hairy ear.
CCarl
Abuelo has a giant hairy ear and he can't hear his cell phone ring.
[At that moment, Hector does walk by, his cell phone ringing, not even realizing]
RRosa
I'm serious, Carl. [goes after Hector] Hector, su teléfono!
[Sergio and Lalo see the monstrous figure swooping behind the building, freaked out, and jump on Carl]
CCarl
Would you chill out?! [gets up] Don't bruise the threads, man. The more successful we look, the more money people will give us. Aren't I a genius businessman? [laughs, then sees the pets cowering] Guys, what's your problem?
[whimpering] Cucuy!
CCarl
[turns around, seeing the figure behind him; not scared] Okay, I get what's going on here. Nice try, Ronnie Anne. Getting back at me for kicking you off the tour? Cool red flashlight eyes. Really working it with that heavy breathing.
[walks up, tattered and exhausted; angry at Carl] My heavy breathing is because I had to walk ALL the way home from where you ditched me! If I wasn’t so tired, I’d kick your butt! [angrily storms inside]
CCarl
[suddenly scared] But, if that’s not Ronnie Anne, then it must really be... [gasps as the cucuy snarls] EL CUCUY!
[sighs agitatedly after Sergio messed up his hair] That bird is really getting on my nerves, lately.
[dismayed; groans] Beaten by a bird. Can it get more embarrassing?
[poops on Bobby’s head; squawks] Clean up at the register!
[fuels up furiously as his face turns red] You know what, Sergio?! I've had it! I wish you would just fly away and never…come…back!
[squawks in horrified shock; offended] Fine! Peace out! [flies out and away of the mercado]
[sweeps the bird poop off his head and looks at Sergio's photo] What are you looking at? [annoyingly flips the photo down]
RRosa
[lifts up the couch] ¿Sergio, done estas! [sets the couch down] Where did he go?! It’s not like him to just disappear like… [breaks down in tears] THIIIIIIIII-IS!!!
[Rosa breaks down in tears. Bobby then finally realizes something; flash to earlier, in the mercado...]
I wish you could just fly away... [In slow motion] ...and NEVER! COME! BACK!!!
[Sergio gasps slowly; end flashback. Ronnie Anne is comforting her Abuela.]
Roberto, you were the last one to see him. Did you see where he went?
[Ronnie Anne and Rosa turn to him, expecting answers; knowing he's the one who made Sergio run away, Bobby puts on a show.]
Uh... [eyes dart to and from] No! It's not like I'd told him to leave and never come back. [nervous laugh] "But I'll go look for him.
[He runs off, but bumps into something and runs out the door, as Hector looks suspicious. Then, the ceiling breaks; Carl pops out the hole.]
CCarl
Well, Sergio's not here either.
RRosa
"CARL!!"
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Casagrandes pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.