Priya quotes from The Big Bang Theory

Priya

Leonard, wake up.

Leonard

Huh? Huh, jus', sorry.

Priya

What for?

Leonard

I don't know. When I'm in bed with a girl, that's just my go-to response.

Howard

Hey, Raj, did you ever tell your sister about the time Sheldon got punched by Bill Gates?

Priya

Oh God, you're kidding!

[laughing] No. Gates gave a speech at the university. Sheldon went up to him afterwards and said "Maybe if you weren't so distracted by sick children in Africa you could have put a little more thought into Windows Vista."

Leonard

[laughing at the memory] Bam! Right in the nose! Made me proud to own a PC.

Leonard

Morning, Sheldon.

Sheldon

Oh, good. You're up. I've written a new and improved roommate agreement that benefits me greatly. I'd like you to sign it.

Leonard

Why would I want to do that?

Sheldon

Excellent question. Do you remember what happened to the alien, played by talented character actor Frank Gorshin, in the Star Trek episode "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"?

Leonard

Uh, Captain Kirk activated the self-destruct sequence and threatened to blow up the Enterprise and kill them both unless he gave in?

Sheldon

Affirmative. [Turns to laptop] Computer, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. [laptop beeps in response] Activate self-destruct sequence. Code 1-1-A-2-B.

Self-destruct sequence activated.

Leonard

What are you gonna do, Sheldon, blow up the apartment?

Sheldon

That was my first thought, but all my cool stuff is here.

Priya

So what happens when it counts down?

Sheldon

Unless Leonard signs the new agreement in the next…[checks timer] 41 seconds, this computer will send an e-mail to your parents in India saying that you're in a secret relationship with the whiter-than-Marshmallow-Fluff Leonard Hofstadter.

Priya

[worried] Oh, my God.

Leonard

What's the big deal?

Priya

Trust me, it's a big deal.

Leonard

They're gonna find out about me eventually, right?

Priya

Yeah, of course, just not today.

Sheldon

20 seconds.

Leonard

Are you ashamed of me?

Priya

Of course not.

Leonard

Then why can't we just tell your parents?

Priya

Please don't push this.

Sheldon

He does that all the time, doesn't he? 15.

Priya

Okay, fine, Sheldon, you win. Turn it off.

Leonard

No, he's bluffing.

Sheldon

I never bluff. 10.

Leonard

It's blackmail!

Sheldon

9.

Priya

We give up.

Sheldon

8.

Leonard

[unhooking the laptop] This is ridiculous.

Sheldon

It's a laptop with a full charge. [to Priya] Honestly, what do you see in him?

Priya

Okay, give him what he wants or we're done.

Sheldon

3.

Leonard

Really?

Sheldon

2.

Leonard

Okay, I'll sign it!

Self-destruct sequence aborted.

Sheldon

[to Priya as he stands up and leaves] You may have gone to Cambridge, but I'm an honorary graduate of Starfleet Academy.

Penny

You wanna talk about crazy mothers, Leonard's mom wouldn't give him any sort of approval growing up.

Priya

Oh the poor thing.

Penny

It makes him desperate to please women. That's where the foreplay goes on and on.

Priya

It does, doesn't it.

Penny

It's like he's trying to win a prize. Oh, word of advice, do not doze off, you'll never hear the end of it.