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S4 E6

The Big Bang Theory · Season 4, Episode 6

“The Irish Pub Formulation” quotes from The Big Bang Theory

3 quotes

“The Irish Pub Formulation” · Season 4, Episode 6

In this episode: Leonard Hofstadter (3), Sheldon Cooper (2), Howard Wolowitz (1), Raj (1), Priya (1)

You know I can't keep a secret!

You can if you try. Think about it this way: if I were Batman and you were Alfred, you'd keep that secret, right?

Why do you get to be Batman?

Because the Batman has the secret.

Alfred has secrets, too!

Like what?

Alfred knows that Barbara Gordon is Batgirl. Which I've now just told to Batman! See, I cannot keep a secret!

'[Sheldon reveals that Leonard betrayed both Raj and Howard's trust by sleeping with Raj's sister, Priya]

[getting up to leave] I don't believe it. This is a terrible betrayal of my trust.

No, no - would it help if I told you that I offered her my heart and that she kind of stomped on it?

... How hard did she stomp?

Very hard!

Okay, I'm good. [Sits back down]

Raj, I just want to say I'd never betray your trust. Unlike Leonard, I respect you.

Really? Was it out of respect that you didn't tell Raj about the time you dropped his iPhone in a urinal?

[horrified] DUDE, I PUT THAT THING ON MY FACE!

I think a more amusing violation of Raj's trust is when Howard convinced him that foreigners give presents to Americans on Thanksgiving.

Hey, I didn't see you giving back your Snoopy Snow-cone maker!

That was all a lie!? This year's gifts are already wrapped!

And as long as we're talking about betraying our friends, how about the month Sheldon spent grinding up insects and mixing them into Leonard's food?

[Leonard looks horrified]

Well, excuse me! That was not a betrayal. That was an experiment to determine at what concentration food starts tasting "mothy."

YOU PUT MOTHS IN MY FOOD!?!?!?

For science.

'Raj": I can't believe you kissed my sister with moth mouth!

Well, I can't believe you used Sheldon's toothbrush!

YOU USED MY TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!?!?!??!!?!??!

Not the brush part, just the little rubber thing to pick food from my teeth and massage my gums.

[Sheldon starts blinking furiously]

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