A character in The Big Bang Theory
Played by Mayim Bialik
The Big Bang Theory · 597 quotes
5th most-quoted character in The Big Bang Theory: in 140 of its 597 quotes
Most scenes with: Sheldon Cooper (103), Penny (57), Leonard Hofstadter (33)
AmyI'm stimulating the pleasures of this starfish. I just need to turn it off.
What happens if you don't?
AmyThen I have to sit through lunch knowing this starfish is having a better day than I am.
Did you enjoy my lecture?
AmyNo, and neither did our waiter.
Well, if you're going to serve Cornish game hen you should either be familiar with the history of Cornwall or be prepared to learn it.
AmyIt's hard to argue with that. And I know because I saw a sad man with a pepper mill desperately try and fail.
[They enter the apartment]
Hey, how was dinner?
Good, I had Cornish game hen.
Oh, that poor waiter.
AmyBernadette is a successful microbiologist. She should be celebrated for her achievements, not her looks. I mean, what kind of message does that send?
I think the message is, "Check out the rack on that scientist!"
AmySheldon, there's something else I've been wanting to say, but before I do, I just... I want you to know that you don't have to say it back. I know you're not ready, and I don't want you to say it just because social convention dictates...
I love you, too.
AmyYou said it.
There's no denying I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite. But that seems even more far-fetched. The only conclusion was love.
[Sheldon holds a card with "Tesla" written on it to his forehead]
AmyThis is an easy one. You love this guy.
Me!
AmyC'mon, he's an under-appreciated genius...
Still think it's me.
AmyIt's not you. Now think! There's a car named after him.
Of course there is. The Mini Cooper, 'cause it's me.
AmyHow about this? He's a poor man's Sheldon Cooper.
Oh, Tesla.
I'd like to take a moment to personally thank Doctor Amy Farah-Fowler, who you may know or not know is the first woman to co-host a flag or banner related internet entertainment show.
Amy[to the camera] Take that glass ceiling.
I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but when a mouse completes a test, it gets rewarded with a food pellet.
AmyIt also gets its brain plucked out with a tweezer.
And its last meal is a food pellet? You're a monster
[The group are preparing Stuart's Comic Book Store for its reopening. It is a tense affair, as Penny has found out that Amy and Sheldon have been testing Chimpanzee puzzles on her, Howard has discovered that his mother, before going to visit her sister in Florida, had loaned Stuart some of her furniture for his store, and Sheldon, having found out that Amy provided Kripke with mathematical assistance, is trying to grasp the concept of letting things go. Leonard is conversing with Penny]
I can't believe they did that.
I know, it's so insulting. At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box!
Wait... Sheldon gave me a banana in a puzzle box. He was testing me too!
Unbelievable.
And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.
Really? You couldn't get it out?
[Amy and Sheldon knock on the door. Raj lets them in, and Sheldon thanks him. Leonard and Penny get up and advance on them at once]
AmyWow, the store looks great -
So you were testing us both? What is the matter with you?
What's the matter with them is they think they're so smart, they don't care if they hurt other people's feelings!
AmyThat isn't true!
[concurrently] That sounds like us. [Amy looks at him in irritation] I still don't understand why you're upset. You solved every puzzle faster than all of the chimps.
AmyWell, except Barnabus, but he was on Adderall.
[Howard and Bernadette come in from the back room, mid-conversation]
...I'm sorry, but it's making me crazy.
Can you please just let it go?
Ooh, I can help you with that. Imagine you're holding an ordinary pen - while your favourite pen is safe and secure in your pocket.
[Howard's phone rings]
Hold that thought. [goes off to answer it in the next room] Hello?
Amy[To Leonard and Penny] How can I make this up to you?
[angrily putting both fists together] The answer is in this puzzle box, let's see if you can open it!
[She and Leonard walk away, while Bernadette goes to Stuart]
You could have at least warned him about the furniture.
That's what I said when we moved it!
You helped him!?
[sarcastically] No. Stuart picked up those three pillows all on his own.
[Howard returns from his phone call, looking visibly shaken]
Hey, you okay?
[in a dazed voice] No...
What's wrong?
...My mom died.
[All heads turn towards him in shock]
What!?
That was my aunt. Ma took a nap and... She never woke up.
[beginning to cry] Oh my God, Howie...
[She embraces him, while the rest of the group solemnly gather round, Penny visibly looking on the verge of tears as well]
I'm so sorry.
What can we do?
I don't know...
[He sits down in an armchair and buries his face in his hands]
May I say something?
[sadly] Not right now, Sheldon.
But I think it would be comforting.
Buddy -
It's okay... [looks up at him] What?
When I lost my own father, I didn't have any friends to help me through it. You do.
[Howard gives him a weak smile, while the others remain in shocked silence, both from the news and the fact that Sheldon has said something genuinely supportive]
[breaking down] I really thought he was gonna say "let it go."
Why a turtle?
After much deliberation, we've determined that a turtle is the ideal pet. They don't shed fur. They don't make noise.
AmyFor Halloween, we can dress him as a cobble stone.
And, if he ever goes beserk, I know I can out run him. Coincidentally that's also why I chose you as a roommate.
AmyOoh, you just chose champions. It's like we're re-enacting the ancient German practice of trial by combat.
It's also like when the Mountain fought the Red Viper in Game of Thrones.
Leonard makes you watch that, too?
No, I like that show. It's got dragons and people doing it.
AmyWhat are we doing? This is a fort. Let's sit on the floor.
Roughing it? Okay. [sits on floor. Gasps] Everything looks so big from down here. This must be how Leonard feels.
AmySheldon, do you understand the irony of your fixation on a man with super speed, while after five years, all I can get out of you is a distracted make-out session on a couch?
Irony's not really my strong suit.
[Skyping with Amy] I've been thinking a lot about relationships and how difficult they can be, and I think...
AmyI've been thinking about them, too, Sheldon. Being your girlfriend is so challenging. Emotionally, physically. I've been incredibly patient for years.
Strongly disagree. Go on.
AmyOkay, well, this isn't easy to say because I love you. But I need some time to take a step back and reevaluate our situation.
Oh.
AmyI hope you understand.
Okay.
AmyBye, Sheldon.
[She ends the session. Sheldon shuts his laptop and looks at a statue of Gollum.]
Well, Gollum, you're an expert on rings. [opens a drawer and takes out a box with an engagement ring inside] What do I do with this one?
I was like the Tin Man, perfectly content until that evil wizard gave him a heart.
AmyI don't think that was the point of the movie.
Fine! I was like Pinocchio who that jerk Geppetto went and made him a real boy.
AmyThere you go.
Sheldon CooperJim Parsons · 398 quotes
Leonard HofstadterJohnny Galecki · 268 quotes
PennyKaley Cuoco · 206 quotes
Howard WolowitzSimon Helberg · 159 quotes
RRaj107 quotes
Bernadette RostenkowskiMelissa Rauch · 62 quotes
Stuart BloomKevin Sussman · 14 quotes
Wil WheatonWil Wheaton · 7 quotes
BarryJohn Ross Bowie · 6 quotes
ZackBrian Thomas Smith · 6 quotes
MaryLaurie Metcalf · 5 quotes
ArthurBob Newhart · 4 quotes
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