Gadget Gal quotes from The Awesomes

Gadget Gal

Well, if you ever want a real woman, call me.

Perfect Man

Oh, Spaldetta's a real woman, all right. All curves.

Tim

Because she's a ball.

Perfect Man

This guy knows what I'm talking about.

Concierge

Where are we?

Prock

It's a portal! To another world!

Gadget Gal

Which world?

Prock

I don't know!

Frantic

Mattress World?

Prock

Probably not.

Muscleman

Boy Meets World?

Prock

That's not a world!

Muscleman

I hope I get to meet Mr. Feeny.

Gadget Gal

I am sticky all over. Reminds me of the time...

Tim

I so don't want to hear the end of that sentence.

Gadget Gal

If it was up to me, we'd lock them all up. I don't trust anyone who breathes with gills.

Concierge

Has a fish ever hurt you, Gadget Gal?

Gadget Gal

Not yet, but that doesn't mean I'm letting down my guard.

Gadget Gal

I remember Seaman. He was always trying to make time with me. I found Seaman very distasteful.

Prock

Sea-Man?

Impresario

Tell me, Gadget Gal, was he ever in your hair?

Gadget Gal

Seaman was impossible to get out of my hair.

Concierge

So, he was always on your back?

Gadget Gal

If he wasn't on my back, Seaman was on my face. When I was younger, Seaman was everywhere.

Prock

Guys, enough.

Muscleman

Did you ever put him in Tupperware and throw him in the freezer to see if you could turn him into a big ice cube? (everyone stares)

Gadget Gal

Why would anyone do that to Seaman?

Concierge

Yes, why?

Muscleman

I tried to join in the fun and I really didn't.

Impresario

Yes you did, and when we get home, we are buying new Tupperware.

Prock

This is what happens when you start wordplay in front of Muscleman.

Gadget Gal

Ugh, his sense of humor.

Impresario

Would you call it "crusty"?

Gadget Gal

I call Seaman very crusty.

Impresario

Ahh, thank you.

Prock

Seaman. But where is he?

Gadget Gal

There's only one way to find Seaman in the dark. A black light.

Gadget Gal

Make sure his skin stays wet. There's nothing worse than dried Seaman.

It's "Seaman." Holy mackerel, Gadget Gal, you've known me for 50 years.

Gadget Gal

Oh, it's true, I've seen a lot of Seaman in my time.

Concierge

Something here does not smell right.

Gadget Gal

Might be this. I think of my jar of brassiere wax has turned.

Concierge

Oh dear lord.

I'm going to show you an inkblot, and you tell me what you see.

Muscleman

Umm, an inkblot.

Hotwire

A butterfly.

Impresario

The cat after Muscleman juggled it to death.

Concierge

Break-dancing skeleton.

Tim

Alan Moore's The Watchmen.

Gadget Gal

The pubic hair of Lillian Gish.

You've aged well, Gadget Gal.

Gadget Gal

My secret is Pilates and a rejuvenation ray.

Muscleman

So, an archaeologist. What's it like working with dinosaur bones?

That's a paleontologist. I'm an archaeologist.

Frantic

Ooh, I love archaeology. What's your favorite mineral?

That's a geologist.

Frantic

Oh, you fix people's gums and then you buy them fancy clothes?

That's a periodontist and a personal shopper, respectively; what I do...

Gadget Gal

He's a grave robber.

Close enough.

Gadget Gal

Thanks again for designing these dresses, Impresario.

Impresario

Well, what was I going to do, let you pick something out? Two women who think haute couture is when the dressing room at K-Mart gets a little sweaty?

Concierge

You can't go.

Frantic

Whaaat? But I had Impresario make this tux for me.

Concierge

It's for women only.

Gadget Gal

Although I've always considered gay men the women of the male community.

Muscleman

Yeah, I want to go. Women only; that's sexist. Men want to look at girls' butts, too.

Concierge

We're not going there to look at girls' butts.

Muscleman

Oh, you're a breast man.

We're going to support other women.

Muscleman

Oh, so you're a bra man.

Tim

That doesn't make any sense.

Muscleman

It makes a little bit of sense.

Perfect Man

If it will make you feel better, you can watch me shower.

Concierge

That offer would probably mean more to him if you didn't make it to all of us all the time.

Perfect Man

And yet Gadget Gal is the only one who ever takes me up on it.

Gadget Gal

And it still isn't getting old.

Perfect Man

Thank you, friend.