Muscleman quotes from The Awesomes

Muscleman

You got some size in you there, short-pants. But as many ladies have told me, size doesn't matter.

Muscleman

Elderly chick fight! Coincidentally, that is the title of my favorite DVD.

Muscleman

No, you want your most powerful for this shiz. That means me. I'm not called Muscleman just because I'm a man. I'm also strong.

Muscleman

You want some banana bread? Impresario's mom made it. It's not good at all, but she says it's made with love. Love must taste like feet.

Muscleman

Like Jedi, but without all the merchandise.

Muscleman

Get your paws off of me, you damned dirty mongoose.

Muscleman

Well, I am killing it in school. I mean, at least in gym. Not so much math, history, social studies, English, lunch.

Muscleman

Yeah, I took an improv class in fourth grade. And I'll never forget the old improv rule. Yes and... something. I can never remember what goes with yes.

Muscleman

Sorry, Charlie.

Muscleman

Guys, I solved the pee smell. Turns out the toilet I've been using is the book return slot.

Muscleman

Perfectman, over you? Why? Because he's stronger, because he's faster, handsomer? Because he can fly, because of his hair? His hair is awesome.

Prock

You're not helping.

Perfect Man

Mr. Awesome, you are in many ways the father I never had.

And you, Perfect Man, are like the son I never had.

Prock

I'm his son.

Muscleman

Right. But he's never had a son like Perfect Man.

Prock

That's not how the phrase is used.

Prock

And what's going on?

By the order of the President of the United States, we are Implementing Code 33.

Muscleman

Thirty-three is my ATM PIN code.

Prock

PIN codes are four digits.

Muscleman

That probably explains why money never comes out.

Concierge

Maybe you're right. This is the new Awesomes, after all. Our bar is lower.

Muscleman

Ohhh, that's a good slogan.

Prock

That's not a good slogan.

Muscleman

What's this big fellow called?

Concierge

Compost.

Frantic

What is he?

Concierge

It's a sentient mass of mutated waste.

Impresario

So it literally has *bleep* for brains.