Prock quotes from The Awesomes

Frantic

Why were those apes making you feel so bad about yourself?

Prock

Because that's what happens at weddings.

Muscleman

Dude, if you tell Jaclyn, she will totally never, ever forgive you.

Prock

I thought you said it wasn't my fault.

Muscleman

I know that. You know that. But women don't think like us. They are vicious, evil creatures. You see this scar?

Prock

Oh, wow. A woman did that to you?

Muscleman

No. When I was a little kid, I fell on a rake. That a woman put there.

Concierge

I cannot believe you forgot where you parked the jet.

Muscleman

Hey, at least I remember important things. Like my wedding anniversary.

Prock

You're not married.

Muscleman

Oh, right. Forgot.

Prock

I'm sorry, was that story supposed to be helpful?

Gadget Gal

It was supposed to be a story. Do whatever the hell you want with it.

Prock

Can you promise this will be classy and dignified and not some cheap reality show?

Here's how classy it'll be. People will put it in their Netflix queue, but they're never going to watch it.

Ooh.

Prock

Okay, listen up. These are our streets and these cock-a-roaches think they can come in and take over. Well, it's time we made them an offer they can't refuse. Because you don't bring a knife to a gunfight, and you don't bring a gun to a knife fight.

Frantic

No time for a speech! You're mixing genres.

You didn't get refundable tickets?

Prock

Who gets those?

I don't know. I don't even fly commercial. I have a rocket suit.

Muscleman

Get off my sled!

It's too late, Santa.

Prock

Yeah, stop being so anti-Semitic and let us kill you!

Prock

It's over. All that's left is for you to tell all your kids to surrender.

Never!

Muscleman

Or we're taking you to midnight Mass.

Oh, well, then I'll do it. I don't have an hour for that.

You bastard! You killed Santa!

Prock

Sir, the thing is...

Ha, I'm just messin' with you. I'm glad the fat slob's dead. I'm very conservative and I've always felt like Santa took the religion out of the holiday. So personally, I think you're a hero!

Prock

This is a very important technology lab. Dr. Turfenpeltz works here. The former chief scientist of the Awesomes.

Muscleman

So that's how this works. When your mentor's in trouble, we drop everything. But when my gymnastics coach needs money for the Kickstarter, you refused to pay $40 for a hat.

Prock

I was able to track Whiskey Dick's heat signature. After leaving here, he landed in Dusselforf, then transported to Madrid.

Muscleman

Oh, my God. He's in... Florida.

Tim

Well, technically, Germany and Spain.

Prock

But what about our greatest powers being between our ears?

It turns out, the greatest power is... either flying or super strength, I can't decide yet. But being smart, it's not even in the top ten.

Concierge

Where are we?

Prock

It's a portal! To another world!

Gadget Gal

Which world?

Prock

I don't know!

Frantic

Mattress World?

Prock

Probably not.

Muscleman

Boy Meets World?

Prock

That's not a world!

Muscleman

I hope I get to meet Mr. Feeny.

Gadget Gal

I remember Seaman. He was always trying to make time with me. I found Seaman very distasteful.

Prock

Sea-Man?

Impresario

Tell me, Gadget Gal, was he ever in your hair?

Gadget Gal

Seaman was impossible to get out of my hair.

Concierge

So, he was always on your back?

Gadget Gal

If he wasn't on my back, Seaman was on my face. When I was younger, Seaman was everywhere.

Prock

Guys, enough.

Muscleman

Did you ever put him in Tupperware and throw him in the freezer to see if you could turn him into a big ice cube? (everyone stares)

Gadget Gal

Why would anyone do that to Seaman?

Concierge

Yes, why?

Muscleman

I tried to join in the fun and I really didn't.

Impresario

Yes you did, and when we get home, we are buying new Tupperware.

Prock

This is what happens when you start wordplay in front of Muscleman.