Professor Calamitous quotes from The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

Professor Calamitous

And all those fools that laughed at me called me half-done and never-finished, which weren’t particularly good nicknames, but they stung, all the same.

Well, wait a minute, if you never finish anything. How’d you finish that Robotic suit?

Professor Calamitous

Who says it’s finished? I never put in a bathroom! Aah Speaking of which I’ll be right back.

Carl

Ooh! Hop?

Go fast and slip?

Sam

Chew gum at the same time?

Professor Calamitous

Ahh, never mind…

Professor Calamitous

How on earth did they escape?

Beautiful Gorgeous

Well, lets see... The kid’s got an I.Q of 210 and the other one is a top-spy. Oh, I wonder!

Professor Calamitous

Don't you take that tone of voice with me, young lady.

Beautiful Gorgeous

I'm over 18, I can do what I want. You're not the boss of me.

Professor Calamitous

You mind your father for once. After them!

King Goobot

Welcome, fellow villains. I believe introductions are in order. I am King Goobot of Yolkus, and this is my assistant, Ooblar. Oh! Oopsy! [chuckles] I forgot- I traded Ooblar to the Bulgosians for some sulfur butter.

Beautiful Gorgeous

I'm Beautiful Gorgeous, and I broke out of prison for this, so it better be good. [to Calamitous] Pop?

Professor Calamitous

Professor Finbarr Calamitous. I recently escaped, too. I used a…well, not a chisel, exactly, more of a long thingy with, uh, sort of forky prongs…

[annoyingly impatient] Tick-tock, baldy! Let's move on! I'm Baby Eddie. Yeah, I'm a baby. Deal with it.

The Junkman

The Junkman, purveyor of fine refuse products throughout the galaxy. You trash it, I cash it.

Grandma Taters

I'm Grandma Taters, and I'm so happy to be here! Let's all sing "The Happy Song." [takes out her guitar and starts singing] ♪ Happy, happy, happy, happy… ♪

Zix

[whistles] That'll do, ancient one. We're the space bandits of the Dimdar Galaxy. I'm Zix, and this is Travoltron and Tee.

Tee

Hey, why can't I introduce myself?!

'Cause he already introduced you, bonehead.

Tee

You calling me a bonehead?! How'd you like to be a no-head?!

Eustace

If you gill breathers are done, I am Eustace Strych, and I could buy and sell you all!

The Junkman

Make me an offer.

King Goobot

Gentlemen, ladies, settle! I've called you here for a reason.

King Goobot

In order to abduct Jimmy Neutron, you'll be split into teams. First team: Baby Eddie and Grandma Taters.

Grandma Taters

Ooh, we're going to have such a good time!

I've got to be with the old broad? That stinks!

Grandma Taters

[sweetly] I could just eat you up… [menacingly in her true self] and maybe I will!

King Goobot

Team two: Beautiful Gorgeous and the Junkman.

The Junkman

Yuck!

Beautiful Gorgeous

The feeling is mutual.

Hey, Junkster, I'll trade you Wrinkles for Dollface.

King Goobot

No trading! Team three: Eustace Strych and Professor Calamitous.

Eustace

What?! The guy who can't complete a sentence? I can't work with that fool.

Professor Calamitous

Watch your tongue, sonny, or I'll… I'll… well, I'll…

Eustace

Yes, fine, get back to me on that before I go to college!

King Goobot

Quiet! Quiet, I say! Quiet. Court is in session. The League of Villains vs. Jimmy Neutron. King Goobot presiding.

Wait, you're putting me on trial?!

King Goobot

Of course! We're doing things by the book.

What book?

King Goobot

"The Big Book of Sham Trials." Be seated, jury.

Beautiful Gorgeous

Do I have to sit next to stink boy here? I'm gonna throw up.

Professor Calamitous

He can't smell any worse than this baby.

Hey, I'm a baby. Babies poop! What? You didn't poop when you were a baby?

King Goobot

Order! Order! Bailiff, control the jury.

Tee

Man, why do I got to be the bailiff? I want to be on the jury!

Beautiful Gorgeous

Too late. We already voted.

Tee

How come I didn't get a vote?

'Cause you're not on the jury. [laughing]

King Goobot

Order! Order, I say! James Isaac Neutron, you are charged with blocking the spread of evil, ruining diabolical plans and being an annoying pest. How do you plead?

Well, first I have to say…

King Goobot

Time's up. Thank you. The jury will now read the verdict.

I didn't even get to defend myself!

King Goobot

Hello! This is a League of Villains. What did you expect? Jury, how do you find the defendant?

Guilty!

What a shock.