Sheen quotes from The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

Sheen

Uh, so, Jimmy, how come it takes astronauts days to go to and from the moon, when it only takes us a few minutes?

That's another good question. You see, it all has to do -

Carl

[singing over] Good-bye, Moon, I'll see you next June! Call the Milky for us soon, and -

Sheen

CARL! Enough with the songs!

Carl

[gasps] Our gold... it's all ashes!

Sheen

That was my grandmother's favorite tooth...and her only one.

The equipment I'd need to make enough gold to replace this stuff would take a ton of money.

Sheen

We could sell our bodies to science.

Carl

You have to be dead to do that.

Sheen

Okay, Mr. Negative.

Gentlemen, we have to get jobs.

Oh, McSpanky's would be the perfect place to work. We could eat here, see all our friends, plus, what job could be easier?

Sheen

Professional spread-glue-on-your-fingertips-and-pull-it-off consultant? What?!

[annoyingly imitating Skeet] "No human brain can add three things, dude. Only the machine knows the tax, dude."

Carl

"Isn't this fun, Jimmy? I wanna be a McSpanky's for the rest of my whole life!"

Sheen

"Give me a cow in an earthquake, a dancing albino in a heart condition, and a baby in a ricksha!"

Carl

"Coming at ya!" [scats]

"Dudes. I'm way impressed."

Sheen

"Anyways, Carl, give me bald, fat, and giant taxi driver with a Polish accent!"

Carl

"You want a hamburger with peanut butter on it?"

Sheen

I'm back from the bank! [sees the McSpanky's restaurant rising from the ground] Hey, Jimmy, is the restaurant supposed to be rising off the ground?

No.

Sheen

Bummer.

Carl

What's happening, Jimmy?!

Well, the computer heard my dad saying he prefers Taco Shack, and it's off to correct the problem!

I think McSpanky's is trying to destroy all its competition until it's the only restaurant in town!

Carl

We've gotta stop it!

Sheen

Yeah! Does that mean no more tips?

Judy

Now, Jimmy, I want you to behave yourself at the Wheezers' this weekend.

Don't worry, Mom. Everything will be fine. I've been looking forward to this for weeks.

Carl

It'll be just like having a brother who looks nothing like me and has a different last name.

Sheen

[slightly annoyed] Man, you guys are so lucky! I have to stay home and loofah my grandma's cankles.

I can't believe you're camping out in the desert. [snorts] I get slightly phlegmy just thinking about it.

Hugh

That's what Burning Duck is all about, Wheezer, my man. We're going to let it all hang out, groove to a natural scene, might even toast some marshmallows.

Judy

Honey, put your pants on. You can groove when we get to the desert. See you soon, sweetie.

Hugh

Keep it real, Jimbo. Go with the flow.

Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!

Bye-bye.

Well, Jimmy, let's get you settled in.

Sheen

Bye, guys. Have fun while I'm cankling.

Sheen

Wow, this place is awesome!

Eustace

: It's nothing, really. Sorry about the heliport, we're having it redone.

Cindy

Wow, Neutron, this sure beats the heck out of your dinky little clubhouse.

It's not "dinky," it's ergonomic!

Eustace

Oh, no, no, no, Cindy, I'm sure that Jimmy's clubhouse is state-of-the-art-- primitive art, that is. [Everyone laughs as Jimmy fumes furiously] Thank you so much.

Hugh

He got you there, Jimbo.

Carl

Aw, it's adorable!

Sheen

They just don't make crazed, berserk robots like they used to.

People, people! I know what this rock is. Carl, Sheen, show the first slide.

Sheen

[speaking into a megaphone] SLIDE!

Carl

Ow, Sheen, I'm right next to you!

Since 1511, there have been reports of rocks with strange symbols falling from the daytime sky. In every case, these rocks were destroyed before scientists had a chance to study them. These are those rocks. Minsk, Russia, 1653-- Rock pulverized by Imperial guards. Reykjavík, Iceland, 1810-- Also crushed. Lima, Peru, 1880-- Rock elected mayor, then overthrown by rebels.

Well, at least it wasn't crushed.

Then crushed. Butte, Montana, 1957-- Rock made into soup and eaten by prospectors.

Sheen

[screams] Carl!

Ladies and gentlemen, the aliens that sent these message stones are today, giving Earth another chance. I implore you to let me take the rock to my lab for study!

Meldar

Let's meet those life-forms now! Vandana?

[appearing] Thanks, Meldar! They're smart, they're sassy, and they've evolved to a nonskeletal form. Meet the Brains!

[disgusted] Eww…

Next, they've been called the sharpest species in the galaxy. Say hello to the Needleheads!

[repeatedly] Mib! Mib! Mib!

Sheen

Oh, man, those voices are gonna get on my nerves!

And finally, they're a warmongering species from the Kondracke Belt, give it up for the Gorlocks!

Meldar

Each player will step forward and place their vote into the giant Head of Truth. First up, Jimmy.

[walks up to the table and votes for Cindy] I tried to be your friend, but I have a planet to save.

Cindy

[walks up to the table and votes for Jimmy] Sorry, pally. The human race can't afford another slip-up.

Libby

[also votes for Jimmy] Bye-bye, big-head.

Sheen

Well, you know what they say, dude. You can fool all the people some other time, but you can't fool the time with the people that the, the… FORGET IT!

Carl

I hope that once you get over the betrayal, you'll still come over for cookies.

Bolbi

Bolbi not wearing underpants. [votes himself off]

Libby

I don't think we're in Retroville anymore.

This is all an illusion! The Brains have placed us under some sort of mass hypnosis.

Sheen

What if they make us act like chickens?!

Carl

What do we do, Jimmy?

I don't know. Unless we can break their hold on us, we're completely at the Brains' mercy.

Carl

Well, guys, we saved the Earth.

Sheen

And more importantly, we won the car!

This isn't right. We've gotta go back!

Cindy

Neutron, what are you doing?

I'm reprogramming the auto-pilot. I won't let all those planets be destroyed!

Libby

Are you nuts?! But we barely got out of there alive!

Sheen

[singing badly] HOME, HOME ON THE RANGE-

NEXT!

Sheen

Eh, pardon?

Thank you. That's all I needed to hear.

Sheen

Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Now, let's talk rehearsal schedule, man. Tuesdays, I have my action figure support so that's no good for me. Mondays…

Oh, dear. I better explain. Um, Sheen, amigo, I'm afraid you won't be joining the chorus.

Sheen

What? You're rejecting me?

Now, now, now, don't take it personally. We needed an alto, and well, you're a… You're a…

Miss Fowl

You're a terrible singer!

Miss Fowl! You see, Sheen, your voice… Um, how shall I put this?

Miss Fowl

Your voice scares small children!

Miss Fowl, please! Look, Sheen, as chorus master, I know talent…

Miss Fowl

And that's what you have: no talent! [Principal Willougby is about to burst] I'm done.

Sheen

Wait a minute. I see what's going on here. You people don't think I'm a very good singer, do you? [Miss Fowl's about to say "Yes" but Principal Willougby covers her lips] Then you have silenced a precious talent! From this point on, I, Sheen, shall never grace the world with song again! [He storms offstage but then rans back to them] But if you guys change your mind, call me anytime.