Bob Pinciotti quotes from That '70s Show

Kitty

Ooh, this pineapple reminds me of Donna. It's a little tart.

Bob

Hey, don't call my daughter names, you can call me names. I really wish you wouldn't.

Kitty

Why, I just..., I don't know what she sees in Randy. He's so charming, and, and friendly, and always willing to lend a helping hand. What a jackass.

Bob

Well, I like him. He calls me Mr. P. Where did he come up with that one?

Red

Kitty, if Donna's going to date anyone, why not him? I mean, he's bright, he's good with tools, and most important, he has never once tried to teach me the Ways of the Jedi.

Kitty

Wait a minute. You like Randy, too?

Red

Well, I'm just saying. I don't hate him as much as I hate most people.

Kitty

Well you have said a lot of hurtful things, but this is the worst! (she walks away)

Red

Kitty?

Bob

She's crazy. This pineapple's delicious.

Kitty

Bob, Red has something he’d like to say to you. [to Red] Go ahead.

Red

Bob... I’m sorry that I said your idea is stupid.

Kitty

And…

Red

And the next time you have a stupid idea, I’ll just keep my mouth shut.

Bob

You know what, Red? I really don’t give a damn what you think. All these years I’ve had to put up with you cutting me down, calling me dumbass... Well, guess what?! YOU’RE THE DUMBASS! YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A CRANKY FUCK WHO THINKS HIS SHIT DON’T STINK! SO YOU CAN BLOW IT OUT YOUR FUCKING ASS! [pause; Red looks shocked] What? What, you wanna hit me?! Go ahead, you bald fuck! Well, go ahead! Do it! I’m not afraid of you! In fact, I’ll kick your bony fucking ass right now!!

Red

[pause; looks at Kitty briefly] Bob, you’ve got some nerve. Good for you! It’s about time you stuck up for yourself and acted like a man.

Bob

I’m sorry, Red! It just slipped out! [hugs Red]