[Busy day at T.U.F.F. Headquarters…]
Agent Puppy, we've got trouble. Snaptrap's being released from prison today. [holds up a newspaper of Snaptrap's prison release with the headline reading: "Snaptrap Released!"]
[looking at computer monitor, not noticing] Oh, yeah.
Did you hear me? The most dangerous villain in Petropolis is free!
[stands on his chair, wagging his tail while gazing at the monitor] Come to papa.
Are you surfing meat again?
[The computer monitor shows an image of a T-Bone steak]
Who, me? No. That would be insensitive to Agent Bossy.
[Agent Bossy moos, then the lights go out, and a feed of Snaptrap is displayed on all monitors]
Snaptrap[in an elegant tuxedo] Greetings, Petropolis! It is I, Verminious Snaptrap!
Whoa. Snaptrap's out of jail?! Why didn't you tell me?!
Snaptrap
My lengthy stay in prison has taught me that crime doesn't pay! I also went a bit cuckoo and made a little friend out of soap. [holds up a bar of soap with a feminine face carved into it] Say hello to Vivian!
TUT.U.F.F. Agents
[unenthusiastically] Hello, Vivian.
[chanting] Snaptrap rules! Snaptrap rules!
TTownspeople
[chanting] Snaptrap rules! Snaptrap rules! [Kitty shows up and they all scream in fear at her]
You're not going to take away our yogurt like you took away our muffins and sunshine, are you mean lady?
[looks at all the other people, all quivering in fear] No, Little Chipmunk Girl. Your yogurt is safe.
Hey, mean lady, where are you going?
[walks to the mall's exit in disappointment] I guess Snaptrap really has changed. My instincts aren't as good as I thought. I'm going home before I ruin anyone else's day.
[blocks her way] Kitty, wait. Don't be so hard on yourself. You were just trying to protect everyone in your own super-violent, pushy, misguided, heartless.. I forgot my point.
[Suddenly, all the entrances close abruptly, trapping everyone inside the mall, and leaving Dudley outside]
Snaptrap
[on monitors] It is I, Verminious Snaptrap! And guess what? [rips off his tuxedo] I never really changed! I'M STILL EVIL! And now that I've trapped you all inside Snappy Town, I'm gonna blast you into the sun! And make you pay for your yogurt. [laughs evilly]
[Everyone screams in panic]
Ah-ha! I was right about Snaptrap all along! I gotta do a little gloating dance. [pulls out pom-poms and shakes them around, gloating] Go Kitty, good instincts, you are awesome!
Uh, boss, you're still in the mall.
Snaptrap
Darn it! Larry, you forgot to put "Leave the mall" on my To Do list! Is there a shark tank in this mall?
No. But, there's a cockroach in the dirty bathroom.
Snaptrap
Larry, go stand in the dirty bathroom!
[Larry dreadfully obeys]
What's the temperature, Keswick?
112 degrees, sir. [his clothes burn off, only leaving him in his underwear] Perfectly… [stutters] survivable, unless you're made of soap.
Snaptrap
[as Vivian melts] NO! Vivian! Now you'll never realize your dream of living in a fancy hotel men's room!
[aiming a net shooter at him] Cheer up, Snaptrap. Once you're back in jail, you'll have plenty of time to make another soap friend.
Snaptrap
Think again, hater of muffins and sunshine! Get her, boys!
[sitting in a water fountain with Larry, trying to cool off from the heat] It's too hot, boss.
Snaptrap
Yuck! My mom packed me pimento loaf again. [to Ollie, threatening to trade with him] Trade with me or perish! [takes a bite of the sandwich] Oh, this is delicious! What is it?
[hesitantly] Grilled cheese on cheese bread.
Snaptrap
What?! [shrieks] I'm horribly allergic to cheese! [swells up]
Ha! A rat that's allergic to cheese! [he, Ollie, and Bad Dog all laugh]
Snaptrap
[bangs his fist on the table] SILENCE! I'm aware of the irony.
[T.U.F.F. and D.O.O.M. confront each other in a new office building by aiming blasters]
Snaptrap
You T.U.F.F. agents destroyed every one of our evil lairs... and ruined a perfectly good mani-pedi. It's payback time!
You started this fight, and now we're gonna finish it!
Snaptrap
No, you started it and we're gonna finish it!
Wait! If we attack each other now, we're going to destroy our own headquarters!
Kitty's right. We're gonna have to call a truce and share the office.
Snaptrap
[baffled] D.O.O.M. and T.U.F.F.… sharing an office? How will that work?
[runs out of a donut shop with a box of donuts, heading back to T.U.F.F. Headquarters] How humiliating. Someone of my intellect reduced to carrying a… [stutters] box of circular fattening breakfast pastries! [sulkily] Sometimes I feel like no one… [stutters] appreciates me.
[The bus "of D.O.O.M." stops at a bus stop and Snaptrap and his D.O.O.M. agents jump out]
Snaptrap
There he is! The genius of T.U.F.F., Falswick!
First of all, it's "Keswick" and… [stutters] what do you want, Snaptrap?
Snaptrap
I want you to come and work for me.
Snaptrap
I'm gonna use this invisibility helmet to get into the movies for free! [laughs manically]
[cockney accent] I don't mean to criticize, boss, but why not use the helmet for something a bit more villainous?
Yeah, like sneaking into Petropolis prison and releasing all the most evil inmates.
Snaptrap
Ooh, Larry. You're getting a ghostly wedgie!
Stop it, Snaptrap, I can totally see you.
Snaptrap
Oh, really? [drops Larry in the shark pit]
Agents Katswell and snack bowl, Snaptrap is at the movie theater. If you act fast, you can… [stutters] confiscate the invisibility helmet.
And tell him to put back the joke of the day.
Snaptrap
What's this, visible losers? I'm gonna sneak into the theater and I'm totally not paying.
TSTicket Salesman
Your totally paying for the floating head. [Ollie sighs and gives him some money]
Snaptrap
Now, I'm gonna use my helmet to commit my most diabolical plan yet. It's completely original in every way. I'm gonna release the most evil inmates from Petropolis prison.
That was Francisco's idea.
Snaptrap
Oh, then I guess putting you back in the shark tank was Francisco's idea, too.
T.U.F.F. Puppy · 225 quotes
