"Aaaa-aaaa-aaaaand action!"
S5 E12Wormhole X-Treme!
YRYolanda Reese
Uh, I'm having trouble with scene 27. It says I'm out of phase, so I can pass my hand through solid matter, or walk through walls.
Yeah, yeah, cos you're out of phase.
Um, exactly.
YRYolanda Reese
So, how come I don't fall through the floor?
[Long pause, with Director and Martin staring at each other]
We'll have to get back to you on that.
[This is a reference to sci-fi "out of phase" episodes in general, and Season Three's "Crystal Skull" specifically, when an out-of-phase Jackson could walk through people and walls, yet was seen at one point sitting on a cabinet.]
WWriter
We could always go back to the way it was in the script.
No, we can't. We've already established that one shot stuns and two shots kills, and Victor shot everybody twice.
So three shots disintegrates them!
I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, because that is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. [walks away] [this is an obvious reference to the way Zat guns originally worked]
[to writer] Why are you looking at me like I'm an idiot? Why are you even on set? Go write something!
I don't know what happened, sir, we lost him. I mean, one minute he was here, the next minute he was gone.
Yeah, they have a habit of doing that.
GGreenburg
[admiring a real space ship] Cool special effect.
WWright
I've seen better.
GGreenburg
Ah, we'll fix it in post.
WWright
Yeah. So, you think we can get eighteen in?
GGreenburg
Yeah, if we cut back on the Mulligans…You think that's funny?
WWright
Yeah, that's good enough for a walk away.
GGreenburg
When's a good time to fade out?
WWright
Eh, right about…now.
[scene fades out]
[At the end of the show is a "behind the scenes look" at the creation of Wormhole X-Treme!]
BBocher
I'm Christian Bocher. I'm portraying the character of Raymond Gunne, who portrays the character of Dr. Levant, which is based on the character Daniel Jackson, portrayed by the actor Michael Shanks, originally portrayed by the actor James Spader…in the feature film...Uh, are you okay?
[In the behind-the-scenes look]
PDPeter DeLuise
You realize this is not a real show.
MDMichael DeLuise
You saying Wormhole X-Treme isn't real? All this is...?
PDPeter DeLuise
It's not a real show. It's a fake show.
MDMichael DeLuise
Did my agent know about this?
MDMichael DeLuise
Am I getting paid real money?
DADouglas Anders
Science fiction is an existential metaphor that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said, “Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinded critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence, has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all.
S5 E13Proving Ground
Uh, sir, if you don't mind, your wound is getting all over my lab.
[As part of a training scenario for new recruits, Jackson is occupying Hammond's office.]
[sitting in Hammond's chair] Oh, I have to tell you, I like this scenario way better than the last one. Have you tried this chair? This is like…really comfortable. [pounds the chair's arm to prove it]
[ominously] Have fun, Daniel.
Yeah, you did tell them to take me prisoner this time and not shoot me, right? Right? [no answer] Hello?
[Gets up off the ground] So! We're all dead! And there's an armed Goa'uld on the loose... I got a problem with that. Anyone else got a problem with that?
You hesitated Lieutenant.
I was assessing the situation, sir.
Okay, we all ended up dead. Assess that.
I stopped to argue with Grogan and lost control of the situation.
And that wasn't even your first mistake. (Jack points at Satterfield) What's your excuse?
SSatterfield
I didn't believe Dr Jackson was a Goa'uld.
Why not, Satterfield?
SSatterfield
I don't know, ma'am. That was just my instinct.
HHaley
She thinks he's cute.
Okay, so one of your team members distracted you into getting shot by the enemy and you want to poke holes in the training scenario?
It wasn't a fair test.
There's such a thing as over-thinking a situation, Lieutenant. When you're dealing with what we deal with, you've got to think on your feet and think fast. These and other cliches will be available to you all for one more day of training with me. After that, you'll either be assigned to an SG team or not. Dismissed.
Grogan. He'll make a fine addition to an SG team one day.
He'll make a fine target. He's good at getting shot.
(laughs) Okay, Satterfield's bright.
I give her high marks for her... high marks. I'd never go into combat with her.
Then there's Haley...
Oh yeah. Four foot nine fightin' machine.
(laughs) Colonel...
All right. Fine. They're the future of the Air Force, the program, the entire planet. God help us.
Try to remember when you were in their shoes.
I wore boots.
Think back to when you were their age.
I was never their age.
They didn't take corridor C19 like you told them to.
Crafty little buggers.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.