TV show quotes
You are trying to goad me into revealing information.
No, I'm just calling it like I see it. And right now, you don't strike me as someone who could intimidate a ten year old out of his lunch money, much less run an interstellar empire.
[in Goa'uld voice] Why don't you have the guard excuse himself for a moment, and I'll show you just what I am "capable" of?
See, now I know you're not the real Ba'al. The real Ba'al wouldn't have cared about the guard.
Barrett (to Landry): General! I understand you have a few extra Ba'als. (punning on Ba'al/ball)
[Landry looks surprised]
General.
Somebody, give me some good news.
[Vala stops her attempts to arm wrestle Teal'c.]
Sorry, sir. I still don't have anything useful.
I didn't even make it to first base.
You don't think you can control her?
No, I know I can't control her, but that's pretty much par for the course. Sir... Carter and I are the same rank, Teal'c's an alien, Jackson's a civilian. I learned a long time ago I don't control anything.
Who does?
It is ironic that not so long ago the mere presence of the Goa'uld on Earth would have been cause for great concern.
Seriously! Who'd ever think that we'd have bigger fish to fry? Or that you'd use the word "ironic" in a sentence?
I told ya, the last thing we need is for this place to turn into the O.K. Corral.
Or a vice-presidential bird hunt.
The Sodan were using these devices for hundreds of years. You'd think there'd at least be a label on the side in bold print that says, "Beware: May cause deadly extra-dimensional radioactive monster-causing creature to appear", or just "danger" would be nice.
[SG-1 is playing poker]
A true warrior...[pause] knows when to fold them.
Really? I won? [laughs] I was totally bluffing!
A fictionalized, albeit slightly ridiculous version of Stargate Command is an excellent cover for the real thing in the event of a security leak.
Plausible deniability.
I'm sorry, sir, did you say "slightly" ridiculous?
... who makes a movie out of a series that only lasted three episodes?
It allegedly performed well on DVD.
[This is a reference to the cult DVD hit Firefly and the resulting film Serenity, as well as Stargate itself.]
Well, you've got to open big, catch people's attention, make them think the whole thing is going to be jam-packed.
Ooh, I love jam.
[Mitchell, Jackson and Carter look at her]
Oh, I get it. It's yet another playful twist on words in your "earth" language.
Well, it... certainly seems to be packed full of jam.
You know, getting the cloaking generator off that mothership, that's going to be the least of our problems. Now, getting Jack to help, that's going to be the hard part.
Oh, don't tell me…
Oh yes. He likes being invisible.
[Cut to a locker room with a shower running- after a pause, Carter cautiously looks out from over the top of the shower curtain]
Sir? Are you there?
[Long pause]
Nope.
[Cut to a briefing room. Jackson is scrawling unintelligibly complex information onto a whiteboard for an audience of a dozen or so scientist types]
...and so, by translating this tablet, we should be able to determine the most important thing in the universe.
[There is a pause. We hear O'Neill begin to snore. Jackson looks exasperated.]
Everyone wanna, poke around? See if you can find him?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
