Uh, sir, if you don't mind, your wound is getting all over my lab.
S5 E13Proving Ground
[As part of a training scenario for new recruits, Jackson is occupying Hammond's office.]
[sitting in Hammond's chair] Oh, I have to tell you, I like this scenario way better than the last one. Have you tried this chair? This is like…really comfortable. [pounds the chair's arm to prove it]
[ominously] Have fun, Daniel.
Yeah, you did tell them to take me prisoner this time and not shoot me, right? Right? [no answer] Hello?
[Gets up off the ground] So! We're all dead! And there's an armed Goa'uld on the loose... I got a problem with that. Anyone else got a problem with that?
You hesitated Lieutenant.
I was assessing the situation, sir.
Okay, we all ended up dead. Assess that.
I stopped to argue with Grogan and lost control of the situation.
And that wasn't even your first mistake. (Jack points at Satterfield) What's your excuse?
SSatterfield
I didn't believe Dr Jackson was a Goa'uld.
Why not, Satterfield?
SSatterfield
I don't know, ma'am. That was just my instinct.
HHaley
She thinks he's cute.
Okay, so one of your team members distracted you into getting shot by the enemy and you want to poke holes in the training scenario?
It wasn't a fair test.
There's such a thing as over-thinking a situation, Lieutenant. When you're dealing with what we deal with, you've got to think on your feet and think fast. These and other cliches will be available to you all for one more day of training with me. After that, you'll either be assigned to an SG team or not. Dismissed.
Grogan. He'll make a fine addition to an SG team one day.
He'll make a fine target. He's good at getting shot.
(laughs) Okay, Satterfield's bright.
I give her high marks for her... high marks. I'd never go into combat with her.
Then there's Haley...
Oh yeah. Four foot nine fightin' machine.
(laughs) Colonel...
All right. Fine. They're the future of the Air Force, the program, the entire planet. God help us.
Try to remember when you were in their shoes.
I wore boots.
Think back to when you were their age.
I was never their age.
They didn't take corridor C19 like you told them to.
Crafty little buggers.
LGLt. Grogan
We kicked ass!
You got yourself shot again Grogan, don't be so cocky.
S5 E1448 Hours
Hi, Jack.
You rat bastard!
Hey, hey, hey... take it easy...
I am so gonna kick your ass!
There's people watching!
I don't care!
It wasn't me! I didn't shoot ya Jack!
Then who did?!
I don't know.
What do you know?!
Only what I read in the NID file, that you were shot and the Goa'uld escaped.
You came all the way back to Colorado Springs to tell me ya didn't do it?
I didn't think you'd believe me any other way.
I'll be in town for a couple of days. I'd like to see how things turn out. I'm at the Accent Inn checked in under the name Cassidy.
David or Shaun?
Butch.
What makes you think I care if you live or die?
CGConrad/Goa'uld
What about the host?
He tried to kill a friend of mine to save his own ass so I don't much care about him either.
CGConrad/Goa'uld
If you kill me, Teal'c dies.
Give me another choice.
CGConrad/Goa'uld
Let me go. Once I am free, I will contact you with the information.
I think Teal'c would rather I shoot you.
Is there any chance you can get the Russians to give us their DHD?
Not without giving back Alaska.
That's how the Pentagon came up with the 48 hour limit, isn't it? You told them Teal'c would be dead.
That's why it's called a deadline.
I guess that we got off on the wrong foot.
What probability factor did you use figuring that out?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.