HHobo
I'm just a crazy old guy with a shopping cart full of cans.
I'm just a cynical Air Force guy with a closet full of National Geographic.
HHobo
Can I have them?
S5 E11Desperate Measures
S5 E12Wormhole X-Treme!
CDColonel Danning
"As a matter of fact, it does say Colonel on my uniform."
[Ironic because it doesn't say Colonel on his uniform. The line may also be a response to O'Neill's rhetorical question from The First Commandment, where he asks "Does it say 'Colonel' anywhere on my uniform?" after Carter and Connor both refuse his orders.]
This is for scene 23? You think they have apples on an alien planet?
PMProp Master
Why not? They speak English.
Look, get some kiwis, and spray-paint them red.
PMProp Master
[pulls out script] OK, so now it'll go "Nick walks into a garden of kiwi trees, says 'How like Eden this planet is,' and bites into a painted kiwi."
OK, you're the prop master, right? So you're a master of props. So...figure it out.
(possibly a reference to Beneath the Surface, an episode in which a character is seen eating red kiwis)
LDr. Levant
Dammit, just because they're aliens and their skulls are transparent, doesn't mean they don't have rights!
[Regarding an explosion]
No, no, no, no, no, no. Bigger, much bigger.
[Regarding an explosion]
No. Look at my lips. Big-ger.
[Regarding an explosion]
Bigger! What is it about the word "bigger" that you don't understand?
I've got a concept meeting in ten minutes, and if I'm not there on time, well... well, they start without me.
"Aaaa-aaaa-aaaaand action!"
YRYolanda Reese
Uh, I'm having trouble with scene 27. It says I'm out of phase, so I can pass my hand through solid matter, or walk through walls.
Yeah, yeah, cos you're out of phase.
Um, exactly.
YRYolanda Reese
So, how come I don't fall through the floor?
[Long pause, with Director and Martin staring at each other]
We'll have to get back to you on that.
[This is a reference to sci-fi "out of phase" episodes in general, and Season Three's "Crystal Skull" specifically, when an out-of-phase Jackson could walk through people and walls, yet was seen at one point sitting on a cabinet.]
WWriter
We could always go back to the way it was in the script.
No, we can't. We've already established that one shot stuns and two shots kills, and Victor shot everybody twice.
So three shots disintegrates them!
I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, because that is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. [walks away] [this is an obvious reference to the way Zat guns originally worked]
[to writer] Why are you looking at me like I'm an idiot? Why are you even on set? Go write something!
I don't know what happened, sir, we lost him. I mean, one minute he was here, the next minute he was gone.
Yeah, they have a habit of doing that.
GGreenburg
[admiring a real space ship] Cool special effect.
WWright
I've seen better.
GGreenburg
Ah, we'll fix it in post.
WWright
Yeah. So, you think we can get eighteen in?
GGreenburg
Yeah, if we cut back on the Mulligans…You think that's funny?
WWright
Yeah, that's good enough for a walk away.
GGreenburg
When's a good time to fade out?
WWright
Eh, right about…now.
[scene fades out]
[At the end of the show is a "behind the scenes look" at the creation of Wormhole X-Treme!]
BBocher
I'm Christian Bocher. I'm portraying the character of Raymond Gunne, who portrays the character of Dr. Levant, which is based on the character Daniel Jackson, portrayed by the actor Michael Shanks, originally portrayed by the actor James Spader…in the feature film...Uh, are you okay?
[In the behind-the-scenes look]
PDPeter DeLuise
You realize this is not a real show.
MDMichael DeLuise
You saying Wormhole X-Treme isn't real? All this is...?
PDPeter DeLuise
It's not a real show. It's a fake show.
MDMichael DeLuise
Did my agent know about this?
MDMichael DeLuise
Am I getting paid real money?
DADouglas Anders
Science fiction is an existential metaphor that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said, “Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinded critics and philosophers of today, but the core of science fiction, its essence, has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.