Cameron Mitchell quotes from Stargate SG-1

You are not tired?

Mitchell

Six weeks' airborne training at Fort Benning-- that's tired. This is nothing. Come on.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[approaching weird technology] There is someone home.

Dr. Jackson

Wa-wait!

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[touches button] What? I was looking for the light switch.

Dr. Jackson

[shining his flashlight at Mitchell] New guy!

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[indicating a computer] Hey, you touched that!

Dr. Jackson

Ah, I know how to read that!

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

I shot him twice point blank.

Dr. Lam

And he's healing. Remarkably fast.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

I should have emptied the clip.

General Landry

Colonel Carter, I've read your proposal.

Lt. Colonel Carter

And?

General Landry

And I'm not exactly sure what an aneurysm feels like, but I suspect I'm pretty close.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

So how does it work, assuming it actually does work?

Dr. Lee

You know, I keep telling myself that one of these days I'm going to do something that gets me a little respect.

Dr. Jackson

We're all waiting for that day, Bill.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Well while we're at it, why don't we just assume I can fly?

Dr. Lee

Oh, actually, I have been working on a theory...

It makes no difference what you do to me. But know this: The Ori are all-seeing! They are already aware of this... affront to their eminence and shall strike down those who defy them.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[shrugs] Nothing yet, you?

Dr. Jackson

Drawing a blank. [pause] A little thirsty.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

That doesn't count.

Dr. Jackson

No, it doesn't.

Their movements are not so easily divined. Their ways are unseen and veiled in mystery.

Dr. Jackson

Right, right, they have a "plan". (Mitchell makes the "air quotes" sign.) Don't suppose you want to tell us what that plan is? For example, why did they send you to this galaxy in the first place?

We are beacons on the road to enlightenment.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

No, you are dark-side intergalactic encyclopedia salesmen, but unfortunately, the home office hasn't been quite upfront with you.

Dr. Jackson

Nice work on the metaphor.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Thank You.

Dr. Jackson

For starters: Did you know, the Ori need people to worship them to gain their power?

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

He didn't know...

Dr. Jackson

No, he didn't know that. [to Prior] No, it's true.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

General, we were just exchanging recipes.

General Landry

Has the prisoner offered anything?

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

No sir, the man doesn't even have a decent pie crust.

How will we know when the device is working?

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Well, we'll know when he's no longer able to use his powers.

How will we know the Prior is no longer able to use his powers?

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Well, someone is just gonna have to test it and find out.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

No worries, fellas, that someone is me.

Lt. Colonel Carter

As we discussed the situation, we realized we could pinpoint the source of the phenomenon to a precise window, specifically, the interim journey between the two gates.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Did she just say "we?"

Lt. Colonel Carter

Pardon me?

Dr. Jackson

She said "we." You said "we?"

Lt. Colonel Carter

Ah. Uh, me and...myself, I suppose. The other Samantha Carter.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Right. Finally someone who can keep up with you, huh?

Lt. Colonel Carter

[Happily] Yup.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

You know, I read all the mission reports on the Asgard. They're not what I expected.

Lt. Colonel Carter

What were you expecting?

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Well, pants, for one.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

What if there are more teams coming in hot?

General Landry

I'm willing to make the occasional exception, but I am not about to turn this base into the Grand Central Station of the Multiverse.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

I have no intention of taking anyone on. I'm just going to pose as a buyer.

Dr. Jackson

You?

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Well, no offense, Jackson, but you do not strike me as the drug dealer type. In fact, you're not even close.

Dr. Jackson

[in disbelief] I think I'm as close as you are!

Lt. Colonel Carter

[to Mitchell] Come on! You're miles away.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Teal'c, which one of us is closer?

Teal'c

I believe the three of you to be equidistant.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[gesturing toward Carter] Oh, please! Mary Poppins is not even in the running.

Lt. Colonel Carter

Hey!

[sarcastically] So, you were done slaying system lords and decided to move on to more pressing agricultural concerns?

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

That's exactly it. Corn patrol.

General Landry

An eventful few days. Debrief in one hour.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

We have got the best jobs in the world, don't we?

Lt. Colonel Carter

I'm gonna hit the shower.

Dr. Jackson

I'm gonna find the doctor.

Teal'c

We are indeed suitably employed.