Cameron Mitchell quotes from Stargate SG-1

Lt. Col. Mitchell

All right fellas, here's the deal! We are commandeering this ship! We'd like for you to throw down your weapons and surrender, please! [Mitchell barely dodges a staff blast] That's a no.

Mitchell

Intel looks good, we've got ourselves a space train full of evil Orville Reddenbacher.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Hey Teal'c? I know you're out there. I don't know what you're thinking, but we're here to help. [Mitchell barely dodges two zat blasts] Okay, that was a lie! And, uh, I hate myself, I feel terrible about that.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

They cancelled it? Really? I didn't even know the new season had started.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

See, right now you're like a Pinto engine in a '71 Mustang. We're gonna swap you out for a big block Tok'ra.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

I've said it before, I am for fighting to the death, but we need a plan, preferably one that avoids the 'to the death' part.

Eighty-seven mission hours to thirty-two alien planets. Front-line ground combat on four different occasions.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

I was hoping you could tell me something about yourself... something personal.

People call me "Dave."

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

It says here that's your name.

Yes.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[to Daniel] Look, the tablet is written in Ancient code, right? I know it's not the lost city of Atlantis we're looking for here, but whatever it is could be worth finding. Or you're just going to have to marry that chick.

Vala

Yeah! Let's make babies! [She grins widely at Daniel]

Vala

Try playing hard to get.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Man, look who's talking.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[to Vala] Ladies first.

Vala

[to Daniel] Well then, after you.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Wicked!...and empty.

Vala

I haven't been this disappointed since Daniel and I had sex.

Merlin

Welcome, ye knights of the round table, men of honor, followers of the path of righteousness. Only those with wealth of knowledge and truth of spirit shall be given access to the underworld, the storehouse of riches of Ambrosius Aurelianus. Prove ye worthy, and all shall be revealed.

Dr. Jackson

That's incredible. Certain scholars have speculated that Ambrosius and Arthur were one and the same, but that would have made him 74 years old at the Battle of Mount Badon. It's actually quite fascinating. See, Ambrosius was the son of the Emperor Constantine—

Vala

[dismissive] Yes, yes, yes. "Fascinating" is the one thing it's not. How do we "prove ye worthy" and get "all to be revealed"?

Dr. Jackson

I have no idea, but something tells me truth of spirit may be a bit of a problem for you.

Vala

[defensively] You know nothing about me!

Dr. Jackson

Because everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Don't make me separate you two.

Dr. Jackson

[to Landry] I mean, isn't that why we're doing this, all of this? The Stargate program, the budget? Isn't it so we can go out and meet new races? Gather advanced technology? Possibly learn about ourselves in the process?

Vala

Oh, come on. You do it to meet women.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

[also to Landry] She has a point, sir.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

So any one of us can take the pony ride?

Dr. Jackson

Yeah, and I figured that was going to be me. I mean, I did miss the Daedalus for this, so...

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

You're going to dine out on that for a while?

Dr. Jackson

Yeah, yeah, like you wouldn't believe.

Dr. Jackson

It says here the Alterans named their new home Avalon and built many Astria Porta.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Stargates?

Dr. Jackson

Yes.

Vala

I thought the Ancients built the Stargates.

Dr. Jackson

Well, it stands to reason that they didn't always call themselves the Ancients.