Teal'c quotes from Stargate SG-1

Col. O'Neill

[To Teal'c] You look tense.

Dr. Jackson

No, I'd say anxious.

Teal'c

I am neither tense nor anxious. Perhaps concerned.

Col. O'Neill

Any idea what that was?

Maj. Carter

None, Sir. The secondary systems are up and running but that was one hell of an EM spike. I'd like to run a full systems diagnostic on the main computer.

Yeah, after I treat this hand.

Maj. Carter

As soon as I get the systems up…

It is a very bad burn, Sam.

Maj. Carter

Five minutes.

Now!

Col. O'Neill

Do as the Doctor says.

Maj. Carter

Yes, Sir.

Thank you Colonel. You, Daniel and Teal'c are next.

What? We're…I'm fine.

Yeah well I would like to be the judge of that. Some form of energy came through the Stargate. I think it's only prudent to make sure there are no physiological effects to those exposed. ASAP.

Col. O'Neill

Who put her in charge?

The US Air Force.

Teal'c

In medical matters, Dr. Fraiser may overrule those of any rank.

Col. O'Neill

I'm not getting all my memos.

Teal'c, do you recognize any of this?

Teal'c

I do not, General Hammond.

Daniel?

Dr. Jackson

I don't recognize it either.

Col. O'Neill

Nope, neither do I. [Everyone looks at him] I'm just sayin'.

Tanith

I do not understand. Why have I been excluded from such important information?

Teal'c

The Tok'ra did not wish Apophis to be informed.

Teal'c

The propulsion system and communication array have been damaged beyond repair.

Col. O'Neill

Ah that's good because according to my calculations we are roughly in the middle of…nowhere. Give or take.

Daniel Jackson

Teal'c, you don't really believe you're still First Prime of Apophis.

Teal'c

I have never ceased to be in the service of my god.

Col. O'Neill

All right, that's sounding a little brainwashy. You don't believe that guy's a god any more than I do.

Col. O'Neill

What's that supposed to mean?

Col. O'Neill

Come on, Teal'c. A part of you has to know the truth.

Teal'c

The truth is you are a prisoner of Apophis. When the symbiote I carry matures, you will become its host.

Col. O'Neill

Okay, I meant the other truth.

Bra'tac

And where is your false god now, Teal'c?

Teal'c

He will come.

Col. O'Neill

I don't think so buddy. I know we've been over this a few times, but in case you weren't listening, I am one hundred percent s-sure...

Col. O'Neill

Ninety nine percent sure Apophis is dead.

Teal'c

Va'lar!

Col. O'Neill

"Va'lar?" Is that what he said?

Daniel Jackson

I thought he said "velour."

Col. O'Neill

"Velour?"

Daniel Jackson

"Velour."

Col. O'Neill

The fabric?

Daniel Jackson

That's what I heard him say.

Col. O'Neill

Why would he say that?

Daniel Jackson

I don't know. Why would he say "Va'lar"?

Teal'c

He failed his god!

Col. O'Neill

His god? You mean that scumsuckin', overdressed, boombox-voice snake-in-the-head? Latest on our long list of dead bad guys?

Dr. Fraiser

Colonel, his heart rate just doubled.

Teal'c

Fool!

Col. O'Neill

[to Daniel] That I understood.

Teal'c

Do not test my temper, woman!

Daniel Jackson

[startled] Woman? Did he just call me a woman?

Col. O'Neill

Yes, I believe he did.

Col. O'Neill

We brought dinner and a movie.

Teal'c

[holding up a video tape, enthusiastically] Star Wars!

Col. O'Neill

Teal'c's seen it what, eight times?

Teal'c

Nine.

Col. O'Neill

Nine times. If Teal'c likes it, it's gotta be OK.

Maj. Carter

You've never seen Star Wars?

Col. O'Neill

Well, you know me and sci-fi...

Teal'c

I have read of a place where humans do battle in a ring of Jell-O.

Col. O'Neill

[Tossing Teal'c his cell phone] Call Daniel.

Teal'c

Do you believe Major Carter has become mentally unstable?

Col. O'Neill

No more than the rest of us.

Teal'c

If I were still loyal to the Goa'uld you would know it.

Col. Simmons

Really?

Teal'c

It would be immediately apparent, as I would not hesitate to kill you where you sit.