Samantha Carter quotes from Stargate SG-1

Maj. Carter

You only saw a flash of this creature. Are you sure it wasn't a hallucination?

Jonas

You're suggesting I'm delusional?

Col. O'Neill

No, no. it's just possible you were seeing something that wasn't entirely... Yes, that's what we're suggesting.

Maj. Carter

What are you doing?

Covering you.

Maj. Carter

[irked] Thank you. Get up.

What makes you think I was gonna come in here before you got them to incriminate themselves?

Maj. Carter

When you work with someone, you just know.

Jonas

I'm thinking of asking her out.

Maj. Carter

Then you should.

Jonas

On Kelowna, it's custom for that request to be passed on by a friend. [punches Carter lightly on the arm]

Maj. Carter

Oh, it is not!

Jonas

You could at least find out for me if she'd be receptive.

Maj. Carter

Jonas, you are such a chickensh-- (The last part of the word is drowned out by the base's siren.)

Col. O'Neill

[To Carter looking through the telescope] Lots of interesting nebulous things going on?

Maj. Carter

Yes, sir.

Col. O'Neill

[Looks into the telescope] I don't see squat.

Maj. Carter

Well, you wouldn't, sir, during the day.

Col. O'Neill

What's that?

Tretonin, sir.

Jonas

The drug the Pangarans offered us?

Col. O'Neill

Whoa! That's ground Goa'uld, isn't it?

Jacob Carter

It's a little more refined than that, Jack...

Col. O'Neill

So... you seeing anyone?

Maybe.

Col. O'Neill

Really? Is it serious?

Maybe. We are betrothed.

Col. O'Neill

Trust me, that’s serious. Congratulations!

Thank you.

Col. O'Neill

I assume my invitation got lost in the mail or..?

I wanted to ask you to sha’loki. To stand beside me.

Col. O'Neill

Just during the ceremony right?

Yes, yes.

Col. O'Neill

I’d be honoured.

Will you becoming to my wedding alone? [Sam walks up]

Col. O'Neill

Ah... I assume Carter’s invited too?

Of course. Will you becoming together?

Col. O'Neill

As in?

Maj. Carter

Friends going to a wedding.

Col. O'Neill

[Uncomfortable] Right. Sure. [pause] Jonas? [walks away] [Skaara and Sam share a knowing smile]

Major Carter

The only thing we can assume is that Anubis didn't keep his deal with Daniel.

Col. O'Neill

That's a shock, eh?

Jonas

I got it!

Maj. Carter

Hopefully it's not contagious.

Daniel Jackson

All I know is that the place you're searching right now is not it.

Col. O'Neill

So, where is "it"?

Daniel Jackson

Did I just say "all I know"?

Col. O'Neill

Everyone turn away.

Maj. Carter

Sir?

Col. O'Neill

I want no witnesses.

Col. O'Neill

All I'm saying... just for the record... this is the wackiest plan we've ever come up with. [He turns and starts to leave the room]

Maj. Carter

Wackier than strapping an active Stargate to the bottom of the X-302?

Col. O'Neill

[As he walks out the door] Oh, yeah.

Maj. Carter

[Calling after O'Neill] Wackier than—than blowing up a sun?

Col. O'Neill

[From the corridor, unseen] Yep!

Maj. Carter

[to Jonas and Daniel] ...He's probably right.

Col. O'Neill

I want to see what this thing's made of.

Maj. Carter

I could tell you exactly, sir.

Col. O'Neill

Another time, maybe. Please.

Col. O'Neill

What's going on?

Dr. Jackson

[referring to Loki] We're pretty sure this Asgard kidnapped you and attempted to replace you with a clone.

Col. O'Neill

How long was I asleep?!

Maj. Carter

Seven days.

Col. O'Neill

That's a record.

No, no, no, this is all wrong.

Col. O'Neill

Hey! I'll tell you what's wrong. I just woke up, haven't had coffee, let alone a pee in seven days, and I find out you stole my ass and made a -- mini-me! Carter, I should be irked currently, yes?

Maj. Carter

Yes, I—I would be.

I am a scientist. A former geneticist with the Asgard Ruling Council.

Maj. Carter

Former?

I was stripped of my stature when I was caught performing unsanctioned experiments on humans.

Col. O'Neill

What, you've got sanctioned ones?