Daniel Jackson quotes from Stargate SG-1

Dr. Jackson

That's when it hit me: Sir Gawain.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Wasn't he one of the Knights who say "Ni"?

Vala

See, I still think it's cause for celebration. So I say we go out, have lunch, and I'll pay.

Lt. Colonel Mitchell

Pay with what, exactly?

Vala

Well, Daniel will cover me until I get my share of the loot.

Dr. Jackson

[exasperated] "Loot."

Vala

Yeah, from all the treasures we're going to bring back from our off-world travels. What, I have to wait until I'm off probation before I start collecting?

Dr. Jackson

[looking out over Atlantis] I wouldn't miss this for the world. You know the number of times I tried to get here?

Vala

Only two of those times were my fault.

Dr. Jackson

[to Morgan Le Fay] I believe you. I do. I mean, I understand the fine line you have to walk. I realize the risk you're taking just showing yourself. But I'm sorry, I want more. You can pass that on to your friends as well. [to the room] Yeah, I know you're listening, [to Le Fay, in full passionate-speech mode] Because I am getting sick of hidden clues and cryptic messages. And Merlin was right that the Ori are a threat. But not only to us "lowers," not only to the billions of humans throughout this galaxy, but to your own existence. Because when this war is over, and every soul that's left alive is praying to the Ori, feeding their need to be worshipped, you know who they're gonna come for next. I won't pretend to know what that war will look like, or in what battlefield it will take place, but then, I won't be alive to see it.

If we interfere, we are no better than the Ori.

Dr. Jackson

I understand that is at the very core of what you are, of what you believe, but I'm talking about survival here. If you really are trying to help, then help yourself.

A fictionalized, albeit slightly ridiculous version of Stargate Command is an excellent cover for the real thing in the event of a security leak.

Lt. Col. Carter

Plausible deniability.

Dr. Jackson

I'm sorry, sir, did you say "slightly" ridiculous?

Dr. Jackson

... who makes a movie out of a series that only lasted three episodes?

Teal'c

It allegedly performed well on DVD.

Dr. Jackson

You know, getting the cloaking generator off that mothership, that's going to be the least of our problems. Now, getting Jack to help, that's going to be the hard part.

Lt. Col. Carter

Oh, don't tell me…

Dr. Jackson

Oh yes. He likes being invisible.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

[whispering to Carter] Fix it.

Dr. Jackson

Quickly.

Lt. Colonel Carter

I'm on it. [leaves]

Teal'c

Indeed.

Dr. Jackson

Are you serious?

Martin Lloyd

What?

Dr. Jackson

How did we escape?

Vala

They.

Dr. Jackson

Fine, they, they, they. How did they escape?

Martin Lloyd

Isn't it obvious?

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Even if the valley wasn't filled with Jaffa, we couldn't never have made it to the Gate and dialed out in under...10 seconds.

Martin Lloyd

Good. See, that's why we're here! So, what do you think, 30 seconds? Ma-maybe not such a round number. How about...38!

Dr. Jackson

Hang on.

Martin Lloyd

What?

Dr. Jackson

One, that's Star Trek and two, it's ridiculous.

Martin Lloyd

What's wrong with it?

Lt. Col. Carter

"The singularity is about to explode?"

Martin Lloyd

Yes.

Lt. Col. Carter

Everything about the statement is wrong.

Dr. Jackson

And how exactly is weapons at maximum going to help the situation?

Martin Lloyd

The audience isn't going to know, but they love weapons at maximum.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Never underestimate your audience. They're usually sensitive, intelligent people, who will respond positively to quality entertainment.

Teal'c

I do not understand why everything in this script must inevitably explode.

Yo! Wonderbread! You got that address figured out?

Chill T! I'm like, translating as fast as I can!

I am so sick of being treated as an object to be worshiped! I am a real person with real feelings!

You know, I don't think Mitchell likes me anymore...

I'm pregnant.

Lt. Col. Carter

Uh-uh.

Dr. Jackson

No.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

[incredulous look] Nope.

Teal'c

[sullen silence]

Martin Lloyd

I need a latte...

Lt. Col. Mitchell

I'm pretty sure I have read all the reports recently.

Lt. Col. Carter

Actually you haven't read 30185.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

30185? ... What's that?

Dr. Jackson

We can't tell you.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

What do you mean you can't tell me? I have the highest security clearance known to mankind! What–what is 30185?

Lt. Col. Carter

We were sworn to secrecy.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Well, why even mention it to me if you're not going to tell me what it is?

Lt. Col. Carter

Sorry.

Vala

Can you tell me?

Dr. Jackson

Oh yeah, we can tell you.

Lt. Col. Carter

Well, it has to do with the time that the gate sent us back to 1969.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Well, that can't have anything to do with me, I wasn't born 'til a year later.

Dr. Jackson

Actually, it was nine months before he was born.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

What?

Lt. Col. Carter

You have to remember, it was the Sixties...

Dr. Jackson

C'mon, you have to have known that Jack's always taken an interest in your life.

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Jack? ...O'Neill?

Teal'c

Indeed.

Lt. Col. Carter

Remember when you were chosen for the 302 program even though you didn't think you should get in? How about when you were chosen for SG-1?

Vala

[laughing] Wait. Are you saying that Jack O'Neill is...

Lt. Col. Mitchell

...my daddy?

Dr. Jackson

All starting to make sense now, isn't it?

Lt. Col. Mitchell

Awww, I'm being Punk'd, aren't I?

Martin Lloyd

I'm talking about ...a twist; something nobody's expecting!

[walks in the door] You mean something like this?

Vala

Wow, I don't think anybody will see that coming.

Dr. Jackson

Nope, there'll be spoilers.

Lt. Col. Carter

Are you kidding? It'll be in the commercial.

Dr. Jackson

You know, if she doesn't show, people are going to think that…you and I are…

What?

Vala Mal Doran

There's no point in second guessing yourself. You can't remake the past. So look ahead, or risk being left behind.

Bra'tac

She holds the wisdom of a seasoned warrior.

Daniel Jackson

She's a mother, that's close enough.