Daniel Jackson quotes from Stargate SG-1

Maj. Carter

Uh, it's flashing green. Green is good?

Dr. Jackson

No.

Maj. Carter

Bad?

Dr. Jackson

Bad.

Maj. Carter

How bad?

Dr. Jackson

Very, very bad.

Maj. Carter

DAD!

Jacob

Try!

What does Selmak say?

Jacob

Try again!

Dr. Jackson

Very helpful, thanks!

Maj. Carter

So what do we know about this new guy?

Col. O'Neill

Not much.

Dr. Jackson

I hope he's not a spit-and-polish, brass tacks...

Col. O'Neill

[Interrupts him] Hard-ass?

Dr. Jackson

I was building up to that

Col. O'Neill

Always leave 'em wanting more... I guess.

Maj. Carter

Thank you.

Dr. Jackson

Thank you.

Sgt. Harriman

Thursday!

Welcome to Earth.

Shifu

A spark lights a flame, but the candle will only burn as long as the wick.

Col. O'Neill

If I may, sir. I think what he means is the wick is the centre of the candle, and ostensibly a great leader, like yourself, is essential to the... whole ball of wax. Basically, what it means is that it's always better to have a big, long wick. Right?

Daniel Jackson

Don't look at me.

Col. O'Neill

It's right, though? Right?

Shifu

If the instrument is broken, the music will be sour.

Dr. Jackson

The music does not play the musician.

Shifu

Normally there is truth in that.

Dr. Jackson

Really? Good. Cause I really didn't have any idea what I was talking about.

Dr. Jackson

Something on your mind?

Col. O'Neill

Your behavior, as a matter of fact.

Dr. Jackson

What about it?

Col. O'Neill

Well, for starters, who gave you the authority to give orders around here?

Dr. Jackson

Actually, the Pentagon.

Shifu

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Dr. Jackson

Oma teach you that?

Shifu

Television.

Dr. Jackson

Glad I've been such a positive influence.

Dr. Jackson

What is wrong with this thing? This thing isn't working.

Col. O'Neill

Did you check the batteries?

Dr. Jackson

From what I've been able to translate so far with Loren's help, the Goa'uld used to use this place as some sort of, opium den. The only difference is their symbiotes must have kept the host's mind chemically balanced once they left.

Teal'c

Then it is most likely I will be able to leave this planet.

Col. O'Neill

Oh how nice for you.

Col. O'Neill

How long were we standing here?

Dr. Jackson

I'm not sure. Long enough to figure out how to translate the writings on this thing, so...

Col. O'Neill

That long?

Dr. Jackson

Yeah, well, perception of time is one of the first things to go when you're... high.

Col. O'Neill

[To Teal'c] You look tense.

Dr. Jackson

No, I'd say anxious.

Teal'c

I am neither tense nor anxious. Perhaps concerned.

What's it doing? [About the MALP]

Maj. Carter

Flying, sir.

Col. O'Neill

MALPs can't fly.

Dr. Jackson

Apparently they can.

Col. O'Neill

Shouldn't there be a memo on this stuff?

Dr. Jackson

They may be trying to communicate.

Col. O'Neill

They?

Dr. Jackson

Well, whoever they are.

Col. O'Neill

Exactly.

Dr. Jackson

What?

Col. O'Neill

Any idea what that was?

Maj. Carter

None, Sir. The secondary systems are up and running but that was one hell of an EM spike. I'd like to run a full systems diagnostic on the main computer.

Yeah, after I treat this hand.

Maj. Carter

As soon as I get the systems up…

It is a very bad burn, Sam.

Maj. Carter

Five minutes.

Now!

Col. O'Neill

Do as the Doctor says.

Maj. Carter

Yes, Sir.

Thank you Colonel. You, Daniel and Teal'c are next.

What? We're…I'm fine.

Yeah well I would like to be the judge of that. Some form of energy came through the Stargate. I think it's only prudent to make sure there are no physiological effects to those exposed. ASAP.

Col. O'Neill

Who put her in charge?

The US Air Force.

Teal'c

In medical matters, Dr. Fraiser may overrule those of any rank.

Col. O'Neill

I'm not getting all my memos.