Jack O'Neill quotes from Stargate SG-1

Col. O'Neill

I thought when something was in a wormhole, it existed only as energy,that you needed another Stargate to turn it back into solid matter.

Maj. Carter

Actually, you're absolutely correct, sir.

Col. O'Neill

I am?

Maj. Carter

Yes.

Teal'c

The K'Tau were not convinced?

Col. O'Neill

No. [to Jackson] Because you didn't say what needed to be said.

Daniel Jackson

Well, what would you have said?

Daniel Jackson

[concerned] Wait, what are you going to say? [he hurries off after O'Neill]

Maj. Carter

Daniel and Teal'c?

Col. O'Neill

They're in the village. Still trying to convince the folks we're friendly elves.

Col. O'Neill

We made a mistake, a big mistake. And we're very sorry. But we also saved your little grey butts from the replicators, and now we want your help. I'm not asking you to change the course of their cultural development. Just fix the damn sun! No one will know. We won't tell.

Daniel Jackson

[aside to Carter] Little gray butts...

Maj. Carter

Yeah...

Unfortunately, we cannot.

Col. O'Neill

OK. At the risk of sounding like the petulant inferior race... Why not?!

Col. O'Neill

Honesty, huh?

Daniel Jackson

[defensively] We're traders.

Col. O'Neill

[disbelieving] Yeah.

Daniel Jackson

We're traders, we've traded, we… trade…

Now I know for certain there is more out there.

Col. O'Neill

Yeah, I know, the grass always looks cleaner.

Col. O'Neill

Where's Teal'c?

Maj. Carter

Trying to be popular.

It is our custom to welcome travelers with a drink. Will you join us?

Col. O'Neill

It is our custom to drink... lead on!

Maj. Carter

Are you saying he was eaten alive?

Daniel Jackson

The sarcophagus would have done its best to keep him alive, so...it probably would have taken a while.

My God.

Col. O'Neill

Okay. That is officially the worst way to go.

Maj. Carter

Narim, we understand why you're concerned, but those ion cannons could save Earth one day.

Daniel Jackson

You're just going to have to trust our people won't blow each other up with them.

Col. O'Neill

And if we do, we won't blame you. Promise.

Col. O'Neill

How do you know this is Narim's house? They all look the same here.

Daniel Jackson

'Cause that's Narim.

Col. O'Neill

You're good.

What you're sensing as trouble could be simple internal political wrangling.

Col. O'Neill

I understand that.

Or we could be walking into a minefield.

Col. O'Neill

Thank you, Sir. These little chats of ours always bring me...great joy and serve to ease my mind.

As far as what you told me, there seems to be an evil conspiracy among the Tollan Curia, whose apparent goal is to give us everything we ever wanted. That makes no sense.

Col. O'Neill

That's what I said.

I take it your mission was successful?

Maj. Carter

In a word, sir: yes.

Col. O'Neill

In two words: yes, sir.

Teal'c

Senator Kinsey appears to be most displeased. [Has a big smile on his face]

Col. O'Neill

[flatly] Yeah, that's a cryin' shame, innit?