A character in Stargate SG-1
Played by Richard Dean Anderson
Stargate SG-1 · 1,358 quotes
Most-quoted character in Stargate SG-1: in 752 of its 1,358 quotes
Most scenes with: Daniel Jackson (209), Samantha Carter (189), Teal'c (101)
Sir, this is the fifth incoming wormhole in the last hour and a half.
Col. O'NeillOkay, I'm here two hours early. When did you get in?
Actually, sir, I never left.
Col. O'NeillDidn't I order you to get a life?
Col. O'Neill[to Teal'c] You've got that look.
To which look are you referring, O'Neill?
The one that says, "I have misgivings about this mission but deep down I know we're doing the right thing"?
Col. O'NeillNo, the other one.
Oh.
Col. O'NeillNext time I tell you to shut up...!
I didn't hear you tell me to shut up.
Col. O'NeillToo subtle for ya?
Well, for once, yes. Would you hear me out?
Col. O'NeillCarter, our standing orders, what are they?
To seek new allies and procure technologies to aid in the defense against the Goa'uld.
Col. O'NeillAnd have we carried out those orders?
We came here to help them!
Is that not what we are doing, Daniel Jackson?
No. Their whole world is in flames and we are offering them gasoline. How is that help?
We are in fact offering water.
Col. O'Neill[to Teal'c] Thank you!
I was speaking metaphorically.
Col. O'NeillWell, stop it! It's not fair to Teal'c.
Col. O'NeillSo, what's your impression of Alar?
That he is concealing something.
Col. O'NeillLike what?
I am unsure. He is concealing it.
You may call me Anise.
Anise?
It means "Noble Strength".
I'm Daniel. It means, uh, "God is my judge".
Col. O'NeillI'm Jack. It means... what's in the box?
Your strength is five times that of a normal human.
Col. O'NeillSo, no increase then.
What can I get you?
Col. O'NeillUh, three of the biggest steaks you've got, with everything, rare, and a baked potato.
You got it! [She starts to walk off.]
Col. O'NeillExcuse me… that was for me!
[The waitress looks skeptical]
Yeah, I'm going to have three as well.
Col. O'NeillFour?
Four… Four is good.
Me too, and french fries with mine… oh and a diet soda!
[O'Neill and Jackson look at her questioningly]
[defensively] I like the taste better!
[SG-1 are at a local steakhouse, despite having been ordered to stay on base]
So, has it occurred to anyone that we're defying a direct order?
Well, it's not like we haven't defied orders before.
Yes, but that was to save Earth.
Col. O'NeillEarth. Steaks. There's a difference?
The report said there was a brawl!
Col. O'NeillMore of a scuffle, sir.
: You're lucky you didn't kill any of those men!
Col. O'NeillNo, we were very careful about that, General.
Col. O'NeillGeneral, sir, about the obviously impending court martials...
You were all under the influence of an alien technology, Colonel. That's a pretty solid defense.
Col. O'NeillEven so, I'm sorry.
Me too.
Me three.
[pause, Teal'c glances at the others]
[smugly] I have no need to apologize.
Teal'c was actually following orders.
Col. O'NeillOf course he was.
O'Neill?
Col. O'NeillMaster Teal'c.
I am in need of your assistance.
Col. O'NeillI'm here to serve!
Egeria, Roman goddess of fountains.
Col. O'NeillFountains?
Also childbirth.
Col. O'NeillHow do those two go together?
It doesn't matter. She was also adviser to Numa Pompilius, a legendary ruler.
Correct, Dr Jackson. Egeria came to the Tau'ri to stop the Goa'uld from taking humans through the Stargate as slaves. Ra found her and killed her, but not before she had spawned our movement.
Literally?
Yes.
Col. O'NeillThanks for the image.
[Teal'c has just explained how he is going to stop his heart to communicate with his symbiote]
Col. O'NeillIs it dangerous?
Jack, he's stopping his heart.
Col. O'NeillI mean for us!
Anise, my symbiote, is far more interested in Dr. Jackson on an intellectual level, but she would have to suffer.
Col. O'NeillLook, there are so many reasons this is wrong... and weird... and wrong? Did I mention wrong?
Is it because I share my body with Anise?
Col. O'NeillFor starters.
Do you not find me attractive?
Col. O'NeillOh, you're...
Col. O'NeillShe made a pass at me
[confused] Sam?
Col. O'NeillAnise, Freya, one of them.
Really?
Col. O'NeillThe host half.
Uh, that's odd.
Col. O'NeillYou're tellin' me. Odd timing, too, don't ya think?
Yes.
Col. O'NeillApparently, the snake likes you.
Really? [watches as O'Neill plays with a yo-yo] You know, I think these are the Jack O'Neill moments I'll probably miss the most.
Col. O'NeillWhat?
What?
Daniel JacksonMichael Shanks · 433 quotes
Samantha CarterAmanda Tapping · 349 quotes
Teal'cChristopher Judge · 180 quotes
Cameron MitchellBen Browder · 128 quotes
Vala Mal DoranClaudia Black · 90 quotes
George HammondDon S. Davis · 77 quotes
Jacob CarterCarmen Argenziano · 32 quotes
Bra'tacTony Amendola · 26 quotes
Hank LandryBeau Bridges · 25 quotes
Jonas QuinnCorin Nemec · 24 quotes
Martin LloydWillie Garson · 21 quotes
Ba'alCliff Simon · 17 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Stargate SG-1 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
