Jack O'Neill quotes from Stargate SG-1

Monk

Those who seek one-ness, find all that they seek.

Dr. Jackson

I think this is gonna take a while.

Col. O'Neill

Really? What gives you that idea?

Maj. Carter

Normally neutrinos pass right through ordinary matter, no matter how dense. I mean, something like five hundred million billion just passed through you.

Col. O'Neill

No matter how dense?

Teal'c

Dr Rothman is now studying it.

Col. O'Neill

Rothman couldn't figure out an ashtray. The guy we need working on that skull is Daniel.

Teal'c

It is he whom we endeavor to locate, O'Neill.

Col. O'Neill

Look, I'm sick of laying around. Help me up.

Teal'c

Dr. Frasier believes you are not strong enough to undertake such a mission.

Col. O'Neill

Yeah, whatever.

Teal'c

[Looking down at O'Neill] Dr. Frasier is usually correct in such matters.

Col. O'Neill

[muffled] Thank you.

Teal'c

You are welcome, O'Neill.

Forgive me, he is here. Daniel is here.

Dr. Jackson

Repeat what I'm saying; I'm standing right beside you.

Standing right beside me.

Col. O'Neill

[sarcastically] He's lost a few pounds.

Dr. Jackson

Jack, don't be an ass.

Jack, don't be an ass.

Col. O'Neill

Daniel?

Now we must wait for the giant aliens.

Col. O'Neill

That just has a nice ring to it.

Col. O'Neill

[to Carter] You know, maybe it's just me, but I always thought when one got some leave time, one actually left. Daniel's recuperating, Teal'C's off visiting his kid somewhere... Personally, I have a date with a lake in Minnesota where the bass grow that big. [Opens his arms wide]

Maj. Carter

[Sarcastically] Really?!

Col. O'Neill

Oh, Yes! What I'm describing here, Carter, involves a very important element...

Maj. Carter

This IS fun to me, Sir.

Col. O'Neill

Well, if, playing with your little reactor sounds better than exploring the lakes and natural beauty of Northern Minnesota, there's not much I can do.

Maj. Carter

Was that an invitation... Sir?

Col. O'Neill

There's nothing wrong with that is there? [She shakes her head, then looks down to his chest, then back up to his eyes] Couple of Co-workers, friends if you will, fishing. It'd be fun.

Maj. Carter

[Smiles] Wow! [Blushing] I appreciate the offer, Sir, really! Sounds great! But I should..

Col. O'Neill

[Cutting her off] No sweat! See you in a week. And by all means, have fun! [He leaves, Sam considers the naquadah reactor]

Maj. Carter

[Running after O'Neill in the hallway] Colonel! [He turns] Uh... [He cocks his head, and raises his eyebrows] [Sam looses her smile] Have a good time!

Col. O'Neill

Land of sky-blue waters, loofas, [Sam smiles real pretty here] ya sure ya betcha', snookums, mosquitoes --- [He disappears in a white light]

Col. O'Neill

...Home of the loon. [A confused look crosses his face, he looks around] Thor? [Long pause as O'Neill looks around] Helloo?

Col. O'Neill

Say something.

Teal'c

One small step for Jaffa.

Col. O'Neill

Very nice.

Col. O'Neill

Where's the fanfare, General?

Maj. Carter

We did kind of save the planet, sir.

Col. O'Neill

Again. This should not get old, General.

Job well done.

Col. O'Neill

Thank you, sir. It was nothing.

Col. O'Neill

I'd be happy to debrief you all after I've debriefed myself for a nice hot shower.

Permission to shower granted. In fact, I insist on it, Colonel.

Col. O'Neill

[to Jackson, quietly] Bad?

Dr. Jackson

I wasn't going to say anything.

Teal'c

The replicators are impervious to Goa'uld technology. They are, however, susceptible to human projectile weaponry. [Davis looks towards Jack confused]

Col. O'Neill

Guns.

Maj. Carter

Sir, if there are still a small enough number of replicators on board, a properly equipped team could possibly…

Col. O'Neill

[sarcastically] Save the world?

Maj. Carter

Getting old for you, sir?

Dr. Jackson

[to Thor] Wait a minute, you're actually saying that you need someone dumber than you are?

Col. O'Neill

You may have come to the right place.

Thor, with all due respect to your situation we need SG-1 here.

Maj. Carter

I could go, sir.

Col. O'Neill

I don't know, Carter. You may not be dumb enough.

Maj. Carter

I think I can handle it

Maj. Carter

Have fun.

Col. O'Neill

Yasureyabetcha...

Maj. Carter

[referring to the Replicators] We kicked their asses!

Col. O'Neill

They had asses?

Maj. Carter

The Asgard had this big new ship. The O'Neill.

Col. O'Neill

[Smiles excitedly] Oh yeah?

Maj. Carter

But, we had to blow it up.

Col. O'Neill

[disappointed] Oh.