[the episode begins with the start of the late-night talk show "Snark Chat with Bubble Bass"]
Snark Chat with Bubble Bass.
And we're back. My first guest had dinner with me just last night. He's a close personal friend of mine. Please welcome the Krabby Patty. [audience clap] Great to have you back on the program.
KPKrabby Patty
Great to be here, BB.
Well, I'm sorry to say it, but last night, you were not quite as delicious as one would hope.
KPKrabby Patty
Oh, don't worry, I'm sure Mr. Krabs will give you a refund.
[a percussion rimshot sting is heard, followed by Bubble Bass and the Krabby Patty laughing, Mama Bass interrupts the show as his dream ends]
Mama Bass[voiceover] Bubble Bass, who are you talking to down there?
Mother! Please stop trying to undermine my fantasy talk show! [Krabby Patty thuds as a cardboard] Mmph.
Mama Bass
[voiceover] You march yourself upstairs this instant! Take out the garbage, dry the dishes, and walk the worm!
Ooh, I don't feel like it! Huh? [Mama Bass throws garbage, two dishes, and the worm at him, who swallows the second dish] That tears it, Mother! [grunts] I am moving out! [slams the front door]
Mama Bass
[voiceover] Moving? Hah! You can't even do your own laundry! [grunts and throws an underwear at Bubble Bass]
I hope you didn't damage my goods.
Oh, your goods are all good, Bubble Bass. And we sure build up an appetite for that free lunch. [Patrick gulps out a bib and fork and knife]
Oh, yes, about that. I'm afraid I was waiting for you so long that I ate them! [eats the paper bags] Mmm. [belches]
'[SpongeBob whimpers]
[inhales and swallows the fork, knife, and bib; he grumbles] If my friend SpongeBob doesn't get his free lunch, things are gonna get crazy! [pants while Bubble Bass melts]
That was the meanest thing I ever saw, Bubble Bass. You, sir, have crossed the line of aquatic decency. You might think you took a couple of bottom feeders like us for a ride today, but I got a newsflash for you, slappy. These bottom-feeders wouldn't eat your free lunch if you paid us!
Come, Patrick. I'll make you a free Krabby Patty for $2.50 plus tax.
[watches the pair leave and laughs] Well, you pulled it off, Bubble Bass. And you didn't even have to flick a fin. [hums and opens a box]
Mama Bass
[emerges from a box and growls] Bubble Bass, why do you think it's funny to pack your mother in a box and drag her all over town?!
[shocked] MOTHER?! [grunts as she picks him up and stuffs him in two boxes]
Mama Bass
[pulls a dolly out her hair] We'll just see how you like it! [pants as she pushes him]
I didn't do it! [Mama Bass bumps into a mailbox] OW! [bumps him into a building] Mother, please— [grunts] It was SpongeBob and Patrick! [grunts] I'll dry the dishes, Mommy. [grunts] I love you, Mommy. [episode irises out on him inside the box]
You chewing that crusty gum has freed me from Mermaid Man's bubblegum trap! What's your name, my bulbous buddy?
What a perfect name for my new sidekick. Or should I say, in-sidekick? [swallows Bubble Bass and spits the tub out]
[screaming and stretching in the Dirty Bubble] Let me out!
[laughs evilly as he retracts to fit Bubble Bass' shape] As a reward for releasing me, you're my new partner in crime.
Mama Bass
[opens bathroom door while holding a basket of laundry] What's going on in--? Huh? Bubble Bass, you're even filthier than before you took a bath!
It's not my fault, Mother. I'm trapped inside this foul felon!
SpongeBob SquarePants · 1,068 quotes
