This is terrible, dude. Maury Povich parades these poor people around on his show like carnival freaks and then gives them prizes at the end as if to justify it. What a dick!
“Freak Strike” · Season 6, Episode 3
In this episode: Eric Cartman (5), Butters Stotch (2), Stan Marsh (1), Kyle Broflovski (1), Stephen Stotch (1), Linda Stotch (1)
Just what did you think you were doing, Butters? Not only did you lie to us and say you were on a camping trip with Kyle's family, you made a fool of yourself AND us on national television!
[still wearing his balls, looking hurt] Oh I'm sorry, mom.
Well, sorry isn't gonna make it this time, mister! You know, your grandmother saw the show and had a mild stroke!
Aw jeez, ah I didn't mean to almost kill Grandma. I promise I'll never go on TV with balls on my chin again.
Ugh! You'd better believe you won't, buster!
Your father and I have to leave now to visit Grandma in the hospital, but you can just take those balls off your chin and march right up to your room!
[with voice trembling, turns around] Yes ma'am. [removes his balls]
Serves me right! Putting balls on my chin and lying about it. Why I, I should be grounded for a month! Why do I do these things? Why can't I behave myself? [his phone rings. Butters goes for the receiver]
[on the other end] Hey Butters, those other freak people from the show were just over here looking for you?
Oh Jesus! They were??
Yeah, they wanted to find you bad.
Well Oh, God! W-whatdya tell him?
I- told them where to find you.
What?? W-why the heck would you do that. Wuh they wanna kill me for not being a real freak!
Oh. Well, serves you right for screwing us over. [hangs up. Butters looks helpless, then walks to the window to see if the freaks are coming. They are indeed]
Oh yeah? I run with 12 gangs, and we only commit hate crimes. Whatever--I do what I want!
MWMan with Terrible Skin Condition
The first group will be led by Incredibly Obese Black Man.
LSLarge-Sized African-American Freak
Excuse me, I'm not Incredibly Obese Black Man. I'm Incredibly Black Obese Man.
MWMan with Terrible Skin Condition
Oh right, my bad.
I've got to get back to my family.
MWMan with Terrible Skin Condition
We're your family too, Napoleon. We're like you. When we look at you, we don't even see the testicles on your chin, we see the testicles in your heart.
UFUnlabeled Freak
Sure, everyone in this great country of ours is a freak, but true, physically deformed freaks must be recognized, for it's these real freaks that make you all feel better about yourselves for not being one.
AMAudience Member
They're right. We should have never crossed that picket line. [rest of audience agrees with him and they all begin to leave the set]
MPMaury Povich
Wait, wait, come back. Maybe we can get the other out- of-control kids to take off their clothes too.
Whatever, I'll crap in Maury's pants!
VVanessa
[after being booed by the audience] Whatever! Whatever! You fucking cocksuckers don't know shit! Fuck you!
I was once involved in a drive-by shooting! Whatever, I do what I want!
VVanessa
You aren't bad, you aren't nothing! I ditch class to go shoot heroin in the school bathroom!
I'm so bad I ran for Congress and won! Then I had sex with an intern, killed her, then hid her body! Whatever, I do what I want!
I'm so bad I digitally put Jabba the Hut back in the original Star Wars movie! Whatever, I do what I want!
MPMaury Povich
Wow! That is out of control!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's South Park pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.