“Rainforest Schmainforest” quotes from South Park

What if you don't have any rhythm?

Excuse me?

Well, like my friend Kyle. He's Jewish, so he doesn't have any rhythm.

SHUT UP, FAT ASS!

Choirs suck!

GMr. Garrison

[thunders angrily] KYLE BROFLOVSKI, YOU WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE! ERIC CARTMAN, YOU BE NICE TO PEOPLE! STAN MARSH, YOU MIND YOUR MANNERS! KENNY MCCORMICK, YOU PAY ATTENTION! [deep sigh; to Miss Stevens] Go ahead.

Well, uh.. that's all, really. So if anyone is interested in seeing the rainforest and joining our choir, I'll leave information packets up front.

Oh, that's good. We need some more toilet paper. [Stan and Kyle laugh]

GMr. Garrison

ALRIGHT, THAT DOES IT!

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[inside Mr. Mackey's office]

I am tired of seeing you in my office, young man! You get sent here every day, Craig!

I know.

Why can't you behave?

..I don't know.

What do you have to say for yourself? [silent pause] Well, I tell you what, young man. Uh, you're going to be held back a grade if you don't luh— [Craig sticks his right middle finger up] Did you just flip me off?!

[lowering his middle finger] No.

Yes you did, you just flipped me the bird! Now see, this is exactly what I'm talking about! If you don't shape up, m'kay, and get your head straight— [Craig sticks up his right middle finger again] There! You just flipped me off again!

No, I didn't.

Yes, you did! And until you stop flipping people off, you can just go back to the waiting room! M'kay? Next! [as Craig leaves, Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman enter] Well, well, well, if it isn't Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Eric.

Hey, Craig.

Hey, don't flip me off, you son of a bitch!

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Ah! A snake!

No, dude, that's a branch.

Oh. Ah! It's a snake!

No, dude, that's the same branch again.

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Ahhhhhh!

Stan, what is it?

Snake! [points to a snake, everyone gasps]

PPablo

Oh yes, this is what we call a coral snake. Notice the red markings. Quite an amazing creature.

[Stan screams and runs away]

PPablo

What's the matter, little boy?

He's a little wuss, what's it look like?

I'm just scared of snakes.

PPablo

Now, now, you must remember. This snake is more afraid of us than we are of it.

[snake chokes Pablo to death]

Oh, my God!

[snake starts to eat Pablo]

Yeah, that snake is pretty scared of us, alright.

[snake continues to eat Pablo]

Jesus Christ! Is he dead?

[snake excretes remains of Pablo]

Dude!

My guess would be yes.

Oh, no! God, no! Now, don't panic, children...

[hitting coral snake with a stick] Bad! That's a bad snake! [runs away as the snake starts chasing him]

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[to Kenny] Lenny, can I tell you something?

Uh-huh?

I think I like you.

Really?

Yes, I think we communicate really well.

Wow, that's great!

No, that's not great.

That's not great?

Yes, I live on the opposite side of the country, and when this choir tour ends, we'll never see each other again, and I'm only going to get my heart broken! I just can't get feelings for you! I just can't, Lenny!

[frustrated] Awwwww!

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Mister! You got to help me, I'm starving to death!

WWorker

What are you doing out here, little boy?

I was with my class, and we got all lost in the rain forest and I need some food; I'm fading fast...!

WWorker

Lost in the rain forest? Oh my Lord! Where are all the others?

Food! I have to have food! [collapses]

WWorker

Oh my God! Get this child some food quick!

[lifts his head up] Chicken wings.

WWorker

Chicken wings!

[lifts his head again] Medium spicy.

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[crying] Oh, stop! I want to go home! I hate the rainforest!

[stops and hugs her] Come on, it'll be all right.

Oh, Lenny, hold me. Oh no, I can't get attached to you. Oh, but I do like you. But I'm only going to get my heart broken.

[angrily frustrated] Aw, FUCK YOU!

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Lenny, if we make it out of this, I wanna be your girlfriend, even if we live on either side of the country, I don't care. [moves over to cuddle Kenny. Kelly attempts pick her nose, which proves difficult because she is tied up]

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Okay, Lenny, in order to keep up our long-distance relationship, we have to call each other every other day.

Okay. [lightning bolt strikes him]

Lenny! No!

Oh my God, they killed Kenny!

You bastards!

What? Who killed him?

Uh, they did.

Who's "they"?

You know, they.

They're, they're bastards.

Well, don't just stand there, help him.

Help him?

Argh! [pounds on Kenny's stomach] Breathe! [gives him CPR] Breathe! [pounds on his stomach some more] Breathe, you son of a bitch! [Kenny coughs]

[shocked] Whoa, dude!

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Ms. Stevens, you have a bug on your back.

Oh, could you swat it off? [turns around to reveal giant fly on her back]

No...

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Alright, that does it! God damn, stupid ass rainforest! This place fucking sucks! I was wrong! Fuck the rainforest! I fucking hate it, I fucking hate it!

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(whacking a squirrel monkey with a stick) Bad monkey! Bad!

Eric, what the heck are you doing?!

I'm asserting myself through tough love, just like my Mr. Kitty. When he's bad, I say "that's a bad Mr. Kitty", and I smack him on the head.

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Cartman (whacking a three toed sloth with a stick) Bad! That's a bad three toed sloth!

Eric, for God's sake, knock it off!