Chad quotes from Sonny With a Chance

It's just that every time you try to be nice to us we end up...sad.

Or injured.

Or in Mexico.

Chad

That was the old Chad. And you did beat the bull. Ole!

View quote →

Chad

Well if it isn't the face of geezer hatred.

*sighs* You heard?

Chad

We all saw it, didn't we kids?

Did you bring the kids here to boo us?

Chad

No, we came here to thank you.

Really?

Chad

Yeah, because for just a minute their fear of clowns took a backseat to their grandparents tears. My grandma called me, told me not to watch the show, told her it was ok I already didn't.

You know someday someones gonna expose you for the jerk you are [Pulls off Chad's hood and sees the hair curlers] OH MY GOSH!

OH MY GOSH!

Chad

[Tries to cover his hair] OH MY GOSH!

Hair curlers?

Chad

No. Girls wear curlers. These are my...Healthy hair rods.

NGNico & Grady

(laughs)

Chad

Ha ha ha. My follicle consultant has me wearing them to keep my hair happy...and attached to my scalp.

Your worried about losing you hair? But your seventeen.

Chad

Buddy was seventeen and before he knew it it was melon!

Melon?

Chad

Melon I tell ya!

View quote →

Chad

What are you doing? These kids have an extreme fear of clowns the slightest bit of comedy can set them off!

Then why'd you bring them here!

Chad

This is the closest thing to a comedy free zone I know.

View quote →

Chad

On the hunt for a nutritious breakfast?

I don't know there might be one hiding behind your dignity.

View quote →

I need to talk to you immediately!

Chad

Actually I'm glad you're here I need a favor.

I don't have time to help you with your science project.

Chad

Please, I have an actual scientist to do that.

Chad

I need a tennis judge. Word on the street is that you can help.

What? I'm not a tennis judge!

Chad

So you just made that up?

Yes. But listen-

Chad

Who makes up something like that?

Who needs a free lance tennis judge?

Chad

Actually I'm hosting my annual charity tournament and I don't want to lose again

Oh I see. Well, as much as I'd like to help you cheat for a good cause I can't. Why? Oh yeah 'cause I'm not a tennis judge!

Chad

Uh huh. So what do you want?

Some answers!

Chad

To what?

To how it all ends! To how long it's gonna be before you ask the girl you're destined to be with.

Chad

I'm not sure I can answer that.

Aren't you in charge of your destiny?

Chad

Uh, I guess?

Then It's time to say enough. When two people are this right for each other there's only one thing to do.

Chad

How long have you felt this way?

Just since yesterday. It hasn't been long but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Chad

I mean I guess I feel the same way.

Well then do something about it!

Chad

Okay I will

Great!

Chad

Sonny will you go out with me?

I-I'm sorry, did you just ask me out?!

Chad

I'm sorry, didn't you just beg me to?

Wait did you think I was talking about... Oh dear this is awkward!

Chad

(laughs awkwardly) Sure is... I mean I know why it's awkward just wanna know if you know...why it's awkward ?

I was talking about Mackenzie and Chloe, but you seem to be talking-

Chad

Na-na-no yup yup me to same page. Whoo!

Whoo hoo!

Chad

See I just thought you thought I thought it was awkward because you thought I was asking you out, Ya'no rather than Mackenzie asking Chloe out, which I was.

Yeah but you said Sonny-

Chad

Yeah buh buh that's awkward .

So...

Chad

So...

Chad

You're a Mackenzie Falls fan now!

Yeah!

Chad

(in between both yeahs) Cool.

(in between both cool's') Yeah.

Chad

Cool.

Chad

So I suppose I should probably tell you that I'm a So Random fan now.

Really?

Chad

Yeah but I'd be lying.

You know, it's funny. Like I learned with Mackenzie Falls, if you look at something with an open mind, you can... Surprise yourself. Soooo... Yeah.

Chad

What?

Yeah, I'll go out with you.

Chad

Good.

Good.

Chad

So we're doing this.

I guess so. [Walks away and comes back] Okay, but I still don't know. Does Mackenzie ever ask-

Chad

Hup-up-up. If we're gonna make this work, I'm gonna have to ask you to never ask me about my business.

Fine. I guess I'll just check the blogs like everyone else.

View quote →

Chad

Alright, lets take it from where I say "I need to talk to you right away."

I need to talk to you right away.

Chad

THAT IS MY LINE! I AM GOING TO FIRE SOMEO- Oh, hey Sonny.

We need to talk.

Chad

Alright everyone, that's a five. Apparently, I need to talk to my lady.

Joking! Joking, not his "lady". Chad, I need to tell you something.

Chad

Wait is this about our date?

Yes. I think we need to call it off.

Chad

Is this about me not telling you what happens between Mack and Chloe?

No, no. I seriously don't care about them or the Falls right now. I just think I rushed into something I didn't fully think through.

Chad

That hurts me, Sonny.

Oh, I'm sorry.[Hugs him but he doesn't hug back]

Chad

How could you not care about the Falls?

Wait, what hurts you more? The fact that I'm over the Falls or me canceling our date?

Chad

That's a toughie.

That's a toughie?!

Chad

See, it's just that, if you date me, you date the Falls. So if you hurt one of us, you hurt us both.

Oh my gosh. I cant believe I was this close to going on a date with you! What was I thinking? I mean, clearly I wasn't thinking-

Chad

Yeah! And ironically, this is a drama free zone! Security!

24 hours ago, I fell in love with a guy named Mackenzie. And you, Chad, are no-

Chad

Don't say Mackenzie, do NOT say Mackenzie.

Mackenzie!

View quote →

Chad

Hey.

What are you doing here?

Chad

Can I come in?

A little.

Chad

Well...I thought about what you asked me-

Excuse me, (to Connie) Mom, you may go watch the Falls.

(watching them) I'm good.

View quote →

Chad

You asked which hurt more you being over the Falls or you canceling our date and it was definitely you canceling our date. Not really a toughie at all.

Thanks. That's very...Mackenzie of you.

Chad

Thanks. so you never did actually give me a reason why you called off our date.

Well it's sort of like you said when you date me you date So Random, and they can be a little--

What are you guys doing here?

(angrily) I found change!

Zora

(gasps) It's worse then we thought!

Flowers, a Mack Falls box set, and a photo of Chad holding some flowers... and a Mack Falls box set!

SRSo Random crew

Chad?!

(pretends to be surprised and fake gasps) Chad?!

Zora

Well, it's pretty obvious what's going on here.

Chad is here to see me!

Mom?

It's okay, Sonny. I am not ashamed to tell them the truth.

No. But I might be! What are you doing?

Trust me. (walks over to Chad)

Chad came here tonight bearing gifts for me, because...

Chad

Sonny's mother is also... my mother.

SRSo Random crew

(gasps)

View quote →

So...when's the tournament?

Chad

I'll give you the details tomorrow night.

What's tomorrow night?

Chad

Our first date. See ya.

Ooh...and the plot thickens.

(to Connie) Room!

But can't we just talk?

Room!

View quote →

Chad

(wearing a neck brace) This is exactly what I was afraid if I asked you out. That I would end up broken or broken hearted. I just never imagined it would be both Sonny.

Chloe

Sonny?

Chad

What Sonny?

Chloe

You said Sonny.

Chad

I don't think so.

View quote →

The patient is critical. We need to get him into the operation room CHAD!

(confused) Chad?

What? No. I said STAT. As in we need to get him into the operation room CHAD!

Mmmmm. You did it again.

Ummm. I don't think so.

(gets up from the gurney) I heard it too.

Even the dead guy heard it.

You know what? Okay this is ridiculous.

Chad

You people are hearing things.

(same time with Chad) I did not say Chad.

Chad

(same time with Sonny) I did not say Sonny.

View quote →

Zora

So what do you think was up with the slip of the tongue this morning?

Chad

(getting food but not looking at Sonny) They're watching.

(getting food too but not looking at Chad) Yeah. I know. Act natural.

Chad

Good call. Just follow my lead.

Okay.

Chad

What say you good woman? Were these freshly picked this fine morn?

I said act natural not Amish. This is silly. Why don't we just tell people that we have a date tonight?

Chad

Bad idea. You know how much our two shows hate each other. If they find out we're going on a date they'll think it's okay for them and then- (shakes his head)

You don't think those guys like each other, do you?

Maybe. I mean look at them trying to act all discreet.

Well, I happen to be a keen reader of lips. So whatever they're trying to say, they might as well say it to me.

So Chad...

No, Brad.

what's the plan?

Chad

Well I'm getting us a limo-

Apparently he's getting a pillow.

Chad

to take us-

Two steaks plus.

Chad

at 8:00-

He ate a sock.

Chad

to a nice dinner.

and a rice thinner.

Read my lips.

[turns to Tawni]

You're a dope.

"Europe's pope."

View quote →

Chad

(looks at his clothes) Hello boys. It's showtime!

Hello girls. It's toe time! (paints her toes)

SCSonny and Chad

Nah. (puts their first choice down and picks up their second choice up) Nah. (puts their second choice down and picks up their third choice) Nah.

(picks up two pairs of earrings) This would be so much easier if I was a dude.

Chad

This would be so much easier if I was an average dude.

(trying different kinds of lipsticks) Good.

Chad

(trying outfits) Too preppy.

Better.

Chad

Trying too hard.

Rockin' it!

Chad

Not trying hard enough.

Perfect!

Chad

Too Nico. Too Grady. Too Tawni but very comfortable.

Hey Chad. It's me. I've been ready for half an hour now. Listen, I can't wait to see you. It's gonna be perfect.

Chad

(surrounded by piles of clothes all over the floor) IT'S WRONG! IT'S WRONG! IT'S ALL WRONG! (kicks some clothes)

View quote →

Chad

(thinks) Man, her shark is so much cooler than my lame jellyfish. I'm such an idiot.

(looks nervous and thinks) I'm such an idiot. Why did I do the shark? His jellyfish was adorable. He's adorable. (stares at him)

Chad

(thinks and stares at Sonny) She's adorable. (looks at his palms) Oh my palms are sweating. Just be cool. (stops thinking and still nervous) So...Ohh!(leans but accidentally falls)

Chad! Are you okay?

Chad

(gets up) I'm good. I'm good. I'm cool. (thinks) I'm so not cool. Water! I need water. (drinks his water) This isn't making me anymore cool, although it is refreshing.

You know, this all looks so great. Why don't you order since you know so much about sushi?

Chad

(thinks) Oh my gosh, I forgot everything I know about sushi. Keep drinking, keep drinking. Maybe she'll stop asking. (drinks Sonny's water)

(thinks) Oh my gosh, I'm boring him so much he's trying to drown himself. (talks to Chad) Chad?

Chad

(stops drinking) Yeah?

(touches Chad's hand) Do you want to order?

Chad

(thinks and gasps) She touched my hand! I was suppose to touch her hand first. What kind of man am I?

(thinks) He's not even looking at me. Do I have something in my teeth? Of course I don't have anything in my teeth, I haven't eaten in hours. I'm starving! Why won't he order?!

Chad

(thinks) Quit drinking! You're gonna explode! Just tell her she makes you nervous. She'll understand. (stops drinking and thinking) Sonny, I need to tell you something.

Yes Chad?

Chad

(throws up on her)

(screaming in disgust)

Chad

(shocked and runs out)

(thinking) Oh my gosh, I can't believe he just did that! Why am I saying this to myself?! (shouts) Oh my gosh, I can't believe he just did that! Ewww!!

View quote →

PPenelope

I'm giving you one last chance, MacKenzie. If you don't give me your water I'll fill my bottles from the tap. Chad this is where you turn and face me. (turns Chad's chair around and sees Chad looking at pictures of Sonny on his cellphone)

Chad

(sad) This is milady at the zoo. This is milady at the pancake house eating a shortstack. This is milady screaming at me to not take pictures of her shortstack.

PPenelope

Chad, what are you doing?

Chad

That's what she asked when I took the picture! (crying) Why did I let her go?! Don't look at me!