Chad quotes from Sonny With a Chance

Sonny

Oh, hey Chad.

Chad

When's the party starting?

Sonny

This is it.

Chad

(confused) These look like the people who usually WORK at Mackenzie Falls parties.

Sonny

(in her dream) (knock at door)

Chad

knock, knock

Sonny

Chad

Chad

Sonny, hey look what I've got for our rehearsal.Two tubes of lip balm? One for my upper and one for my lower.

Sonny

(glares at him)

Chad

Will you relax? I was just goofing around. Look, I really want to do a good job.

Sonny

Really?

Chad

Yeah. So look, let's take it from the part when the Hot EMT comes in... that's me ha... and says 'tell me where it hurts.'

Sonny

(stares into Chad's eyes) Wow Chad. You were right. I am getting lost in your eyes. This feels like a dream.

Sonny

(wakes up) I am dreaming. Oh my gosh! It was just like he said! (knock at door)

Chad

Wanna run lines... got two tubes of lip balm. One for my upper and one for my...

Sonny

NOOO!!! (slams door in his face)

Chad

Ow... my lower!

Chad

First the nervousness then stumbling and next you'll be dreaming about me and you'll get lost in my eyes, and finally after we kiss, you'll be hooked.

Sonny

After we what?!

Chad

Kiss, four little letters just like my name.

Sonny

And you're nuts! Four little letters, just like your name!

Chad

Now I know what you're doing; you don't wanna look me in the eyes.

Sonny

Pffft! What are you talking about?

Chad

Fine. Then take off the hat.

Sonny

Fine. (takes off hat to reveal a smaller hat)

Chad

You're wearing a hat under a hat? Phew! You had the dream, didn't you?

Sonny

There is no destiny! There is no you and me! There is no- Wow. I never realized what a deep shade of blue your eyes are.

Sonny

(snapping out of it) Oh my gosh, what am I doing?!

Chad

Ah, getting lost in me eyes. Check! Now then all that's left is the kiss.

Sonny

(takes off hat) You know what?! I will not kiss you! Not in a million years! You and I don't kiss not now, not ever!

(comes out of nowhere) You two are gonna kiss!

Sonny

WHAT (shocked)

Sonny

Let's just get this sketch over with.

Chad

Alright, but after it happens, you know we're gonna be in love.

Sonny

We?

Chad

(stammering) Yo-you I said you.

Sonny

You said we.

Chad

OK fine, but we is my nickname for you! We happy?

Officer Jeff

[Introducing his puppet Walter to Grady and Nico] Guys, this is my partner, Officer Rothban. He doesn't like a lot of things.

[Sees Chad] Oh my gosh, it's Chad Dylan Cooper! I love your work!

Chad

[To Jeff] Oh, thank you.

What are you thanking him for? I'm the one who loves Mackenzie Falls!

Grady

How can you like that show? What is the matter with you?

Nico

What's the matter with him? What's the matter with you? Dude, he's not real!

Chad

At least he has real tastes! [To Rothban] Thank you. [Pats him on the head and leaves]

He touched me! I will never wash my head again!

Hi, Chad! Great episode last night. I laughed, I cried...

Officer Jeff

I slept right through it.

Chad

How is that even possible?

Officer Jeff

...that Officer Rothban likes something that I don't?

Chad

No, that someone could sleep through Mackenzie Falls. [Stomach growls] Gotta get to a meeting. [Goes into his bathroom]

Sonny

(holding back Zora) Chad, I can't believe you didn't even thank me for saving your life.

Chad

(holding back Dakota) Look, I will have you know, I was choking on purpose, okay? To get your silly little merit badge, it's called acting.

Sonny

Yeah and you're not that good of an actor.

Chad

Acting.

Sonny

Choking.

Chad

Acting.

Sonny

Choking!

Chad

Oh really?! Someone better hold me back.

Sonny

Don't make me take off my shoe!

Chad

Get over here!

Sonny

I will hit you in a minute if you keep on lying.

Dakota

Hi Chad! How about joining me for lunch?

Chad

Oh hi Dakota. Yeah I'd love to. Actually I'm due on set for rehearsal.

Dakota

Not if my daddy cancels your show.

Chad

(high voice) Oh what are we having?

Zora

Hi Chad. How would the greatest actor of this generation like to buy a box of cookies?

Chad

(takes out money) You had me at greatest actor of this generation.

Dakota

I'm just a cute little girl selling cookies is all.

Sonny

Well whoever buys from us, will get a free balloon with each purchase!

Chad

(pops Sonny's balloon) if you buy it from us I'll give you my autograph!

Sonny

Well anybody who buys it from us will get my autograph! (flips hair)

Sonny

Really?!

Chad

I've got a box.

Dakota

YES! we can sell it, and we'll win!

Sonny

(flirtatiously) Chad....hand us the cookies. We're your friends.

Please give it up for Chad Dylan Cooper!

Sonny

Hey! (whispering) What are you doing here?

Chad

(coughs) I'm here promoting my book.

Sonny

You wrote a book?

Chad

(scoffs) No, I read a book.

Hey, what are you two whispering about [pointing to Chad and Sonny] one of your "secret dates"?

Chad

I'm just here to talk about my book.

Actually you're not; I wanted you both here so I could get your reaction to this. Let's roll the clip!

Tawni

Whoa.

Sonny

Where did you get that?

Didn't know you were being filmed, huh? Apparently someone in Mackenzie Falls doesn't like Sonny very much. So as we say on the show...GOTCHA!

Sonny

What? You 'gotched' nothing, alright? That was totally taken out of context.

That's what I do! If I were to wait for things to be in context I would not have a show. Still, seems the two of you have little something, something going on... care to comment?

Sonny

Yup! Right after this commercial break!

We're not taking a break.

Sonny

Well, we are! Let's go. (drags Chad off stage)

Tawni

You're leaving me here by myself?

Sonny

Yes.

Tawni

YES!

Sonny

I can't believe Gilroy tried to do that to us!

Chad

That guy's a jerk. I can't believe I read that book for nothing.

Sonny

You know, Tawni and I made a pact earlier that we wouldn't tell anyone secrets, and I think that we should probably do the same thing.

Chad

Okay fine, I didn't read the book! [Sonny looks at him] Wha-oh, you were talking about the us, (Sonny nods) yeah, we don't have secrets!....Do we?

Sonny

Uh-I don't know, do we?

Sonny

I mean, what is that, like us liking each other?

Chad

Yeah, I mean I don't really want to talk about my feelings in front of the live studio audience.

Sonny

Yeah, yeah yeah right, I mean especially feelings we've never talked about before.

Chad

Yeah..you have feelings?

Sonny

Do you have feelings?

Chad

I-I mean since you're really asking...it's just the two of us....

Sonny

Right! I mean there's no cameras this time or anything.

Chad

Yeah, I really...I just....

Sonny

No, listen. It's what I'm here for. [Chad smiles at her) You go first!

Chad

No you go first.

Sonny

No you g- ok same time.

Chad

Yeah.

Sonny

One... two...

Chad

I was gonna say that yeah, um, two and a half?