Sammi quotes from Shameless

Carl

What the hell do you want?

Sammi

Oh, Carl, always giving your big sis a hard time. Thank you for letting me visit my little bro. Heard you're planning on setting my boy on fire.

Carl

First chance I get. He dimed on me.

Sammi

You will not touch one hair on his head. Do you understand?

Carl

You think you scare me? Bring it, bitch.

Would the defendant like to say anything? Charles?

Sammi

Chuckie!

Chuckie

What?!

Would you like to say anything before sentencing?

Chuckie

Okay!

Sammi

I would, Your Honor. I'm his mom. May I speak? My Chuckie is a good boy. The only thing he's ever stolen was my heart. But he was taken advantage of by an older family member. If you're gonna blame anyone, you should blame his uncle Carl or the family who raised him or me, for putting an innocent boy in a den of wolves.

Mickey

Need a little help with that?

Sammi

No thanks.

Mickey

Are you sure? [Grabs box and attempts to intimidate her]

Sammi

[Holds out a revolver and points it in Mickey's face] Yes I'm sure you inbred hoodlum piece of wet dogshit...

Sammi

...Then excuse me while I go visit my son, who, thanks to all of you, is in juvie and will probably celebrate his 14th birthday there.

Sammi

...Family sucks ass.

Mickey

Holy shit.

Ian

Is that Sammi?

Sammi

Mickey.

Mickey

She's got a fucking gun!

Fiona

Do you think I'm a good person?

Fiona

Was that a gunshot?

Mickey

Fuck you!

Sammi

Oh, you're gonna get fucked!

Fiona

Is that Sammi?

Sammi

You tried to fucking kill me!

Mickey

Fuck you!

Sammi

Fuck you, too!

Mickey

Fuck you and your weird-ass kid!

Sammi

Oh, you're gonna get fucked, you little bitch!

Fiona

What the hell is going on?

Mickey

You shoot like a bitch!

Ian

Hi.

Fiona

Hi. What is going on?

Ian

I'm not sure. Mickey tried to kill Sammi. Sammi's trying to kill Mickey, and something about her being in a box for a week.

Fiona

When did you get back?

Ian

Couple minutes ago.

Fiona

How's Monica?

Ian

Living with a teenage meth dealer.

Fiona

Sounds like Monica.

Veronica

That can't be good.

School principal

Mr. and Mrs. Slott--

Sammi

Gallagher for me.

Your grandson Charles tried to read a very offensive book report to Mr. Schwiebert's class.

Sammi

The boy doesn't know what he's saying.

Frank

Our grandson is a little slow between the ears.

Your grandson seems to believe that he's a Nazi. Any ideas where he's getting that from?

Sammi

Most likely other Nazis.

Charles received a suspension as a lesson for his behavior and a failing grade on the paper.

Queenie

His shit-for-brains mother couldn't pass gas, let alone middle school. My grandson wrote an entire report here and you're gonna fail him for this?

Frank

Hey, I read it. A couple of grammatical things here and there. He didn't remember to capitalize Auschwitz, but the kid can write.

Hitler's diatribe on Aryan superiority is not an appropriate theme for a sixth grade book report.

Frank

Did you tell the class they couldn't write about Nazis?

Well, usually, they're not writing from the Nazi perspective, so no. Look, it's okay to write about mass murders. You just can't side with the mass murderers.

Frank

Uh, this is a direct attack on his First Amendment rights, a right, I might add, that belongs to everyone regardless of intelligence deficiencies or possible retardation. Yes, but there are conditions to those rights, like yelling "fire" in a public theater or preaching white supremacy to middle school students.

Look, we simply can't allow Hitler's hate speech to alienate our diverse student body. We've worked very hard to create an open atmosphere for all our students.

Frank

Look, you can't go teaching equality and then get your human rights panties in a bunch when it comes with a couple of wedgies. Every asshole is entitled to his beliefs. That's the yin and the yang of democracy. It's the same freedom that allows you to teach wearing [[w:Kippah|that silly beanie and [[w:Multiculturalism|those Crayola-colored kids]] out there to go to school together. It- it doesn't matter anyway. Pretty soon, there's not gonna be any [[w:Judaism|Jew]] or [[w:Aryan|Aryan]] or [[w:Hinduism|Hindu]] or [[w:Islam|Muslim]] or [[w:Mexican people|Mexican]] or [[w:African American|Blacks]]. There's just gonna be the rich and the fucked, and our grandson is already one of the fucked. So at least let the boy express the degenerate ideas he can actually comprehend, and that, my multicultural friends, [[w:Pledge of Allegiance|is liberty and justice for all]]! Or we could call [[w:United States Attorney General|the attorney general]] and the [[w:American Civil Liberties Union|ACLU]]. I'm sorry, I probably should have started with that.